Does Your Spouse Fit the Mold?

[Jamida]

My husband and I got a marriage book for Christmas from his parents (no it wasn't a hint that we need help or anything! ). When you read these marriage books where they give advice on how your spouse need this or that, the males are ready for sex 24/7, the woman always has a headache etc., do you find you can't relate? It seems to me they stereotype the males in these molds (and probably the females too - not that that's bad) but my husband is NOTHING like these molds at all.

The books do NOT relate to me. For example, my husband is very independant and literally gets uncomfortable if I give him accolaides and encourage him. He'd rather I just overlook his goodness. In fact, if I compliment him on his shirt, for example, he'll be so uncomfortable that I noticed that he'll go change!! Not at all the typical marriage book male-begging-for-approval guy. He doesn't want to be babied when he's sick, nor is he lazy. He helps around the house without be asked, picks up his clothes, does the dishes, etc.


We have a VERY healthy relationship, so I'm not complaining, just wondering if others find they can't relate to the marriage books and advice because their spouse doesn't fit the "norm" and then if so, what do you to find advice on non-normal spouses ?

 

[cooper]

I too have been frustrated by the so-called standards for your spouse --- while many of these books have well-meaning advice, I suggest that you read them with a cautious eye, pray for wisdom, and decide responsibly which tidbits of advice resonate with you --- then share them with your husband to see if he agrees.

Please, for his sake, resist the temptation to hold him to some standard or bar that is beyond reach or an unknown expectation. He is right where God wants Him --- and you, are right along side him. God will certainly use both of you to provide necessary advice to each other. Just try and do it together so that you are walking in agreement as oft as possible.............

 

[kdet]

I have found that the best marriage handbook is the Bible
God really has the best advice for having a happy marriage.
My husband is so not your sterotypical male that any of the marriage self help books on the market are virtually useless for me

 

[desi]

There are basic differences between men and women which are good to know about. These books often try to illustrate these principles in generic ways which do not fit everyone. I've found them to be true more often than not.

 

[seebs]

How true they are depends on the people involved. My wife has a lot of the "male" personality traits, which means that the books would be pretty bad advice for me taken at face value.

 

[E-beth]

No...really...you are telling the truth...

HE DOES THE DISHES?!?!?!?!

Does he give lessons? LOL

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Screw the "mold."
It's your marriage and not someone else's.

 

[TCapp]

Yes, I've had some of those frustrations. I read these sorts of things with a grain of salt now. I truly hated the assumption that the husband has a super libido and always wants it. It was the reverse for us, he was the one that got chased around a lot in the B.C (before children) days. Other things bother me, but that was about the biggest issue I had at the time.

I guess everyone will just have to write their own books about their spouses, because no one else knows them like you do.

 

[SGaulke26]

My husband and I are the mold. I am surprised to see that so many of you cannot relate. I thought we had plenty of company...