Does your ASD child have friends?

ellieberrie · Jan 13, 2006

I`m just really couriuos, does your child with Autism or Aspergers, have any friends? And If so how did they make them? Do you think it would be easier for them to do so in a special ed. class room or a reg. ed. class room? This is really something were having problems with. If anyone has advice, would really like to here from you! Thank you.~God bless

CJD · Jan 13, 2006

I would have to say that my son does have some friends. Jeremiah isn't withdrawn like a lot of autistic children and it also made it harder to get him diagnosed. I was always told it was ADHD, but I didn't accept that.....something deep inside told me that it was more than that and that he was autistic. Jeremiah loves people and has become friends with a new child in his class that came here from a different state. I was so proud of him as his teacher told me what my son had done. Jeremiah knows within seconds of entering a room, who will do well with him and who won't. I see it on his face when he looks around the room. He will then sometimes seek for get the attention of certain people. It doesn't really seem to matter where he is.

JesseRaymondBassett · Jan 13, 2006

As being one who IS Autistic, I can say it is difficult keeping and making friends. Especially when they don't like the same things you do. Personal one-on-one relationships are very difficult for me. That's why I stick to forums and such....

DLX · Jan 13, 2006

Quinlan is very friendly. But she doesn't really have little friends I don't think. She is only 5 so it is hard to tell. She plays with her sisters sometimes. She likes my sister a lot (who is 7) and she talks about children at school a tiny little bit.

Lexi

ellieberrie · Jan 13, 2006

Thank you all so much for your replies! Alex is a 4th grader, who at a social level is more around the kindergarden age. It`s really hard right now becouse he has realized that the other kids are not laughing with him, thier laughing at him, and this just makes me cry, becouse all he wants is to have a friend (like his step brother does). He is just so sweet! He get`s kinda loud and silly and that makes him stand out from the other kids as being "diff.", He was pushed twice this week and twice some boys where making fun of the way he talks.(and these are just the ones he told me about!)~GOD bless

uniquetadpole · Jan 13, 2006

I never had any friends...and I was a quiet one...I got beat up...and teased...I have been in several abusive relationships...but since Sept....things have been starting to turn around...I found this forum and a few others...and I have slowly been making friends...but I still have no IRL friends. Just my Family which I have trouble dealilng with, and my Therapist and my Coach...

hugs,
Tad

kayd1966 · Jan 14, 2006

My son has friends at his school but they are all young still (5 yrs old). One of them is ADHD and two of them are 'normal developing' boys. At one time I thought it was him 'latching' onto them because he is so social but he was off sick for two weeks in December and two of the mothers' told me that their sons really missed him. I'm not sure what the future holds for my little man and sometimes I get so scared for him because children can be so cruel...I hope that people will educate their children about others that don't have it as easy as they do.

Sorry not much help but I will pray that your son finds a friend that will like him just the way he is.

ellieberrie · Jan 15, 2006

kayd1966 said:
My son has friends at his school but they are all young still (5 yrs old). One of them is ADHD and two of them are 'normal developing' boys. At one time I thought it was him 'latching' onto them because he is so social but he was off sick for two weeks in December and two of the mothers' told me that their sons really missed him. I'm not sure what the future holds for my little man and sometimes I get so scared for him because children can be so cruel...I hope that people will educate their children about others that don't have it as easy as they do.

Sorry not much help but I will pray that your son finds a friend that will like him just the way he is.

~Thank you and God bless!

Darkhorse · Jan 15, 2006

My two HFA/Aspergers boys make friends wherever they go - but not all kids return the friendship. Their best friendships have come from "people next door" including some cross-cultural neighbors. Other good friendships have come from church youth and Sunday-school groups, and homeschool-student groups (they are both homeschooled). Even chance meetings in parks have been helpful to practice meeting and socializing with other kids, although the "general population" seems somewhat less-accepting of their oddities.

An essential part of making friends is teaching them what is appropriate and expected behavior, and what isn't. These kids are often totally "clueless" about the subtile social cues that everyone else seems to understand, and they will always stand out, to a certain extent. Teach them that good people will want to be their friends if they themselves are good.

Lena75 · Feb 6, 2006

Yep, my son has friends. He has 4 buddies on his bus and gets along well with people in general. He has a few friends in his classroom, too. His classmates are very helpful with him and have watched a video about autism and has been a great help to my son and the other special need boys.

amberzak · Feb 11, 2006

Hey

I have Aspergers, and all through school I only had one real friend. But that is a special relationship, because we have always been friends. He is a special person.

I didn't know I had Aspergers in school. I was bullied awfully. But I had quite a few friends with people in church. My friends tended to be either younger or older than me. THey still are, actually.

willcoach · Feb 25, 2006

I feel where ya'll come from (throw in a southern term LOL!!!). I have the struggle myself I just recently had to drop some people who I thought for my friends but they were not. I just hope the Lord can continue to put new people in my life. Thanks for hearing me.

gal4God · Feb 26, 2006

hi, i also have AS i was popular @ Skool, but now i've moved on2 college i'm loney. i have 1 m8 who lives 300 miles away 4rm me and who isn't even a good m8. i fell out with my best m8 when i told her i have AS.

Fangtastic · Feb 26, 2006

Does my autistic son have friends? Not really. He has classmates that he converses with and some kids he tries to play sports with but he doesn't bond to them.He once had a girl he liked. I don't know,he's just not able to make or understand friendship. He likes people,he just likes to be by himself more.

aigiqinf · Jul 21, 2006

I'm a friend of a person with Autism and ADHD as a symtom, at least I try to be. The person used to live behind me before I moved up the street. The main problem I have is you can't give him hints, therefore it really sounds like your being rude, which makes you feel like a bad person. This person knows my phone number, but doesn't know his own. He calls me all the time and asks if I can come over, now he being in a lower grade and his teachers giving him less homework because of his inablity to focus, I have much less free time than him. After I say I have homework he askes if I can come over after homework, after I say I don't think so he asks about the next day and the next day... on and on. Finally I have to say I can't come over or flately tell him I don't want to come over. He (at 11) still sleeps with his mom and cares a teddy bear a lot, and everytime you watch a movie or play a video game with him he makes you feel uncomfortable in how close he gets to you. All I'm qualified to atest to is that I can see how hard it would be for someone who can't take social cues to make friends, more so when part of friendship is jesting.

kayd1966 · Jul 21, 2006

Thank you for sharing, you are definately qualified. In fact you give a lot of help to those of us that are the parents.

I like to hear stuff like this so that I can prepare my son for these situations before he makes people uncomfortable and looses friends.

It must be uncomfortable for you as the friend and your concern shows you are very caring. If there is some help or questions you have about this situation, ask away...maybe those of us that are parents can help you come up with ways to approach this friend or his parents so that you aren't uncomfortable, missing out on time with your other friends or getting behind in your homework. Let us know.

Take care & God Bless!

aigiqinf · Jul 21, 2006

kayd1966 said:
Thank you for sharing, you are definately qualified. In fact you give a lot of help to those of us that are the parents.

I like to hear stuff like this so that I can prepare my son for these situations before he makes people uncomfortable and looses friends.

It must be uncomfortable for you as the friend and your concern shows you are very caring. If there is some help or questions you have about this situation, ask away...maybe those of us that are parents can help you come up with ways to approach this friend or his parents so that you aren't uncomfortable, missing out on time with your other friends or getting behind in your homework. Let us know.

Take care & God Bless!

It worries me though, that he never goes to Church, he has even asked me if I wanted to skip church to come over to his house. Its unfair to deprive someone of Christ because you don't want to put effort into it.

kayd1966 · Jul 21, 2006

do his parents go to church?

aigiqinf · Jul 21, 2006

kayd1966 said:
do his parents go to church?

His parental situation: Mother divorced 3 times, 1 child, she's going to college and is going to marry right after graduation, the child and her live in her parents house. (Which is big enough for all of them) I know that the grandparents go to church but I'm not sure about the mother.

kayd1966 · Jul 21, 2006

thats probably why he's asking you to skip...he has no concept of Jesus.

Maybe ask him to go to church with you...is that a possiblity or will it make church uncomfortable for you?

Does your ASD child have friends?

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