does this happen usually after marriage?

[DrenchedInHisBlood]

a christian female friend of mine just got married. We were good friends in college just few years ago. Lately I called her just to ask her thoughts on some things because she might know them since they relate to her field of study. But she doesn't answer and neither does she answer my texts. She was not like this before she was married. We were never crushing on each other and we were nothing more than just brothers and sisters in Christ. So it makes me wonder still if she isn't communicating with me due to her marriage. So someone tell me if this is really an etiquette in married people. Or it might just be a coincidense that she has no time to make phone calls lately. I cant tell really

 

[Inkachu]

We can't speak for this girl. We have no way of knowing why she didn't answer your calls or texts.

That being said, it's perfectly normal for a married person (female OR male) to stop contact with single members of the opposite sex. Some do, some don't. It's not a blanket, general practice across the board.

Unfortunately, unless she decides to answer you at some point, you may just have to let it go and be content without an answer.

 

[DZoolander]

Here's the first thing that pops to mind.

Does the thought that maybe she's having so much sex with her new husband that she doesn't have time to answer your calls/answer your texts give you any pangs of jealousy or consternation?

 

[RDKirk]

How much time is "just got married?"

 

[LinkH]

a christian female friend of mine just got married. We were good friends in college just few years ago. Lately I called her just to ask her thoughts on some things because she might know them since they relate to her field of study. But she doesn't answer and neither does she answer my texts. She was not like this before she was married. We were never crushing on each other and we were nothing more than just brothers and sisters in Christ. So it makes me wonder still if she isn't communicating with me due to her marriage. So someone tell me if this is really an etiquette in married people. Or it might just be a coincidense that she has no time to make phone calls lately. I cant tell really

Maybe she had been crushing on you. Maybe her husband is the jealous type. Or maybe she has a problem with her phone or is too busy. If you know her husband you could call him and strike up a conversation and mention how you would to borrow his wife's notes.

 

[JCLover779]

No, it wouldn't happen for me. I don't have a problem having male friends or with my husband having female friends. Other married people do have issues.

I don't have anything to add to the great responses so far. I'm simply replying to give you another answer to your question. There is no way we can answer for your specific situation, though.

 

[Inkachu]

Also, what Link said. If you want to appear "on the up and up", you need to befriend her new husband. Otherwise you're just "some guy that she knew before she was married" in his view.

 

[DZoolander]

Can I also say that your screen name is a little unsettling?

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

When I was younger and trying to find love I got so annoyed about my friends who got married and seemed to leave me as a friend. Once friend got married and upon calling him 3 months later he told me we couldn't hang out because his wife said so. >.>

Now that I am married I understand why couples don't talk to their friends often. Its nothing personal, your life changes and your very focused on your new life with your spouse. And if your early in your marriage (depending on how you are), your also busy uh "enjoying" personal time with your spouse. lol

I barley get on FB anymore and don't really comment or like anything. I don't do alot of what I used to. Including talking to friends (mostly on FB is where they are). I do care about them but my life is not mine alone and my wife is my priority. Its why I said even before marriage that don't go into marriage expecting that your single lifestyle habits will remain.

 

[Moonrise Lu]

I barley get on FB anymore and don't really comment or like anything. I don't do alot of what I used to. Including talking to friends (mostly on FB is where they are). I do care about them but my life is not mine alone and my wife is my priority. Its why I said even before marriage that don't go into marriage expecting that your single lifestyle habits will remain.

This ^ seems to be the case with some of my married friends.
As for this girl not talking to you, it is very possible she or her husband would feel strange about you two talking. A husband and wife I am close to both felt it is inappropriate to have lots of one-on-one communication (such as texting) with others of the opposite sex. The wife would still talk to her male friends but is always open with her husband about what they talk about - be on the phone with them when the husband is around or show him their texts - but the husband preferred to keep as little communication as possible with other women. He just felt it was inappropriate. They told me once he felt bad because he had a female friend he would game with online, then after he got married he felt awkward about talking to her so one day he didn't reply to a message from her for a while, forgot about it and didn't remember till he and the wife had been married a year! He did felt bad about ignoring the girl, but he feels it is better for their marriage not to get friendly with women other than his wife. It is possible your friend feels the same way. Or she could just be getting caught up in the beginnings of her married life.

 

[tenderheart1]

More than likely her new spouse asked her to not have contact with you. Some men (and women) are really insecure in this area!

 

[Mayzoo]

She also may have been added to his cell phone plan which may have changed her phone number.

 

[Kristin E]

Its normal in my opinion, would you want your wife talking to some from the opposite sex?

 

[FullEnglishBrekkie]

a christian female friend of mine just got married. We were good friends in college just few years ago. Lately I called her just to ask her thoughts on some things because she might know them since they relate to her field of study. But she doesn't answer and neither does she answer my texts. She was not like this before she was married. We were never crushing on each other and we were nothing more than just brothers and sisters in Christ. So it makes me wonder still if she isn't communicating with me due to her marriage. So someone tell me if this is really an etiquette in married people. Or it might just be a coincidense that she has no time to make phone calls lately. I cant tell really

You knew her a few years ago....................she has just got married. My guess is that she is far more interested in her husband and their new life together than in someone she knew a few years ago in college. When you get married, your priorities change...........just wait til she has children - she may then barely remember you at all!

 

[dayhiker]

Yes, that the model we all have followed for the most part. Ge married and them pretty much separate from ourselves from everyone else.

 

[FullEnglishBrekkie]

Yes, that the model we all have followed for the most part. Ge married and them pretty much separate from ourselves from everyone else.

That's right. And nobody tells you just how much children change your lives. The first child becomes the centre of your universe, your wife is orbiting it closely and you are further out from the centre making sure that works. If former friends remain in that universe, they must have been very close dear friends to start with. And they are in your peripheral consciousness at best.

 

[JohnNess]

I'm ok with my wife having male friends and she's ok with my having female friends, but we just don't feel any need to talk to them much anymore. Our friendship is so deep and satisfying (and our lives busy otherwise) that we don't communicate often with our friends, even those of the same gender. It's possible her husband asked her to cut contact, but it may just be that she's so happy with him that she doesn't think much about you. I hope one day you find the same thing in a wife.

 

[anewday]

I'm having issues with single friends who I think are jealous that I recently got married so yes, I would say friendships definitely change after people get married.

 

[Angeldove97]

So it makes me wonder still if she isn't communicating with me due to her marriage. So someone tell me if this is really an etiquette in married people. Or it might just be a coincidense that she has no time to make phone calls lately. I cant tell really

My husband has made it very clear that there are some guy friends of mine that I shouldn't have private contact with because it makes him concerned. One was a guy that I had a relationship with and the other is a guy who I'm long time (from middle school) friends with and we both care deeply about each other (but never officially dated). Hubby isn't the jealous type, but since he has voiced concerns about these 2 people, I've avoided or toned down contact with them. I never told them I would, but I think both understand what is going on without voicing it.

On the flip side, it could just really be that she doesn't have enough time to keep up with all of her friends. I know that my job requires a lot of my time and attention, what is "left over" I happily give to my husband, my sister, my parents, or my closest friends. Since finishing college, starting my job, and getting married, I've stopped talking to A LOT of my college friends because I simply do not have the time.

Don't take it personally ~ it's her life and she might just not be able to include you in it anymore. I'm sure she's had to end other friendships too.

 

[kmrichard7]

I dont know if its her reason for doing it but I would not respond either and if I did it would be very short and to the point.
Its not about having immediate feelings for someone else, its about protecting my marriage from any and all possible threats down the road.
Its a simple text now but that simple text could come on an especially hard day one day and one thing leads to another and feelings start etc.
I used to only have male friends (I've never been one into drama and what not) but now that I'm married its changed