Being communication between the spouses or obedience to God's word as it specifically pertains to marriage? Which is more vital?
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Does success in marriage depend more on communication or obedience?
- Thread starter Autumnleaf
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Calliso
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Both are super important I think. But I would lean towards communication is key.
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SabrinaFair
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I count healthy communication and resolution as the biggest impacting factor in the marriage relationship. Even an "unsaved" couple can have a good marriage when their communication is healthy.
Interestingly, having healthy communication and resolution skills happens to line up with God's word, and His principles work.
Interestingly, having healthy communication and resolution skills happens to line up with God's word, and His principles work.
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I really don't see how the two can be separated OR how they can exist in a relationship without one another.
Mindless obediance leads to all sorts of abuse.
It is the womans role to support and follow her man...however, part of the mans role as a good leader is loving for his wife as Christ loved the church, this does not include what his definition of LOVE is but the bibles. It includes discussing issues, gaining their partners insight and figuring out where they are going.
God made men and women equal but different. Ultimately the man steps up and leads- and we support that- but that DOES NOT mean his decisions are made on his own and THUS communication is essential.
GBU
LeeLee.
Mindless obediance leads to all sorts of abuse.
It is the womans role to support and follow her man...however, part of the mans role as a good leader is loving for his wife as Christ loved the church, this does not include what his definition of LOVE is but the bibles. It includes discussing issues, gaining their partners insight and figuring out where they are going.
God made men and women equal but different. Ultimately the man steps up and leads- and we support that- but that DOES NOT mean his decisions are made on his own and THUS communication is essential.
GBU
LeeLee.
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I agree with the statement of resolution and obedience. Communications is a buzz word in my mind. We say it a lot, but these days it doesn't really mean much. We know that we're supposed to talk to each other, to mean what we say, and all that jazz, but communication is absolutely useless without resolution, and proper resolution at that.
A whole lot of communication leads to little getting done. Both partners need to know how to resolve their conflicts in the best manner possible for both parties. Obedience to one another's roles or God-given tasks goes hand-in-hand with that.
A whole lot of communication leads to little getting done. Both partners need to know how to resolve their conflicts in the best manner possible for both parties. Obedience to one another's roles or God-given tasks goes hand-in-hand with that.
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Neither!
The science is exceedingly clear here. Success in marriage depends on the absence of a few things, not the presence of any one thing or even group of things. Disgust for the spouse being the most important of the negative traits. In marriages with disgust for the spouse the divorce rate approaches unity.
Even the most 'Godly' will divorce (or be miserable) if one has disgust for the other. The trouble is, there is so little teaching within Christianity on disgust.
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Communication is in line with GOD's word so automatically when you are obedient to GOD the communication and resolution will follow. If, however, you are not in line with GOD's word then that could prevent proper communication and resolution. With regard to resolution there is only one way and that is GOD's way and not the best possible way for both parties because quite often they are completely different options, which when implemented can cause another conflict leaving both parties back to square one and not achieving the resolution they desired.
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ImperialPhantom
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Communication, fo sho. Everyone knows that they need it, but nobody can figure out how to actually do it.
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Communication comes first, then obedience/submission one to the other will follow.
It's one of those cycles: wives, submit to your husband, husbands love your wives. When the husband loves more, she's more inclined to submit more, which makes the husband love more, makes the wife submit more.
It's one of those cycles: wives, submit to your husband, husbands love your wives. When the husband loves more, she's more inclined to submit more, which makes the husband love more, makes the wife submit more.
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Adamantium
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Obviously there are successful marriages out there among people who are not Christians, so there's evidently something else at work for those couples.
I think it's mutual respect and a desire to have a successful marriage, no matter how much work it is.
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For those of you who say communication, does the Bible say this? I've heard many Christians say communication is most important but I have never found it in the Bible. One guy told me communication actually is bad lots of the time because it usually leads to "too many chiefs and not enough indians".
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Adamantium
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Anyone who thinks communication is bad is confused, or being disingenuous. Sure, you can talk endlessly about something instead of actually acting. But that isn't communicating, that's babbling. Communication means that the two spouses talk to each other honestly and openly about their issues, concerns and goals.
Honestly, I don't think you can possibly have a successful marriage if you don't communicate. You might stay together, but you'll both be wretched.
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If two people communicate that honestly and openly neither one wants to do something that needs to be done I don't see how they are any better off than before they started communicating. Situations like this seem to highlight the beauty of obedience to the Bible. Generally you know what is expected of you and you know what to expect from your spouse. I guess its a form of communication.
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Adamantium
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[quote=Autumnleaf] If two people communicate that honestly and openly neither one wants to do something that needs to be done I don't see how they are any better off than before they started communicating. Situations like this seem to highlight the beauty of obedience to the Bible. Generally you know what is expected of you and you know what to expect from your spouse. I guess its a form of communication.[/quote]
Perhaps we mean different things by communication?
And while I will be the first to admit that I'm far from perfect and could be a better Christian than I am, I'm not sure how your example has anything to do with the bible, or Christianity.
Like I said upthread, there are people who have successful marriages who are not Christian. Obviously they aren't being obedient to the Bible. So it seems to me that neither of the choices you offered us in the OP are the root cause of successful marriage.
That's why I said I think mutual respect is the bottom line for marital success. Think about it: if you respect your spouse, you treat them with kindness, you make sure you do your part to keep things (whatever those things are) going, you give their beliefs due consideration, you compromise when necessary, you sacrifice when necessary, and you forgive them for their all-too-human flaws.
Note that I'm not saying being obedient to the Bible is bad. I'm just saying that it clearly isn't the only path to marital success.
Perhaps we mean different things by communication?
And while I will be the first to admit that I'm far from perfect and could be a better Christian than I am, I'm not sure how your example has anything to do with the bible, or Christianity.
Like I said upthread, there are people who have successful marriages who are not Christian. Obviously they aren't being obedient to the Bible. So it seems to me that neither of the choices you offered us in the OP are the root cause of successful marriage.
That's why I said I think mutual respect is the bottom line for marital success. Think about it: if you respect your spouse, you treat them with kindness, you make sure you do your part to keep things (whatever those things are) going, you give their beliefs due consideration, you compromise when necessary, you sacrifice when necessary, and you forgive them for their all-too-human flaws.
Note that I'm not saying being obedient to the Bible is bad. I'm just saying that it clearly isn't the only path to marital success.
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ImperialPhantom
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Does the Bible say that Barry Bonds would break Hank Aaron's home run record? Something doesn't have to be in the Bible for people to know it's either right, or a good idea.
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FLANDIDLYANDERS
When I am slain may my corpse lie facing the Enemy
If recognition of God is not consciously or publicly made, does that mean it does not exist?
Can God not be obeyed by those who may not even acknowledge God?
Obedience to God is what exactly? Adhering to rules? Or is obedience best done naturally, implicitly? As if the law was written on our hearts?
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