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Does it ever seem....

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Boxers1

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Does it ever seem like you are afraid of your own mind with OCD? I am still troubled that my mind can "say things" or I can force myself to think something that I don't believe. It's like my mind says it or wants to say it, but my heart doesn't. Is this how it is for everybody else? I'm still troubled by the holy spirit thoughts b/c of the fear...I do love the spirit, but I am afraid of what my mind might think or say so then my mind thinks about it. Is this familiar? It is so troubling to feel prisoned in your own head. I feel comforted when I know others feel the exact same way...to know I am not alone is a huge comfort. Obviously I have not beaten this, but I am trying...I went to the therapist yesterday for the first time and he was unfortunately clueless. I actually felt smarter than him and he was supposed to be helping me! I told him I needed someone specialized in OCD so I think he realized that was out of his league and he would make some phone calls for me.
 
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I felt sooo evil!!!!, it frightened me what I could think. The thing that helped me was reading in the bible the verse (I am sorry the verse escapes me) but it goes something like. "There is no good in me but for Christ Jesus" He already knows that we are evil that's why he came. The thing that OCD people do is think TOOOO MUCH.
 
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Hi Boxer1
I am really sorry I don't have any one answer:scratch: :cry: I can remember reading the bible trying to find reassurance that I was saved and the more I looked the more my brain would turn things around and I would dig myself a bigger hole (well that is what I thought at the time), it is like the more you try to think good thoughts your mind turns it around and you are flooded with bad thoughts, its like your mind goes out of control like a run away train. Infact I was so shocked at what my mind could think!!! Those that have never suffered this have no idea what it is like. It is like a cracked record that plays the same horrible things over and over again, I remember slapping my face trying to drive the thoughts away. The best thing I found was to actually give your mind a rest, don't try to work it out. In fact I got to the stage where I didn't read my Bible for a while as I felt condemmed all the time. (actually that really helped) Its not that you are casting God away but you are giving your mind a rest. A bit like when you get a broken leg you rest it to help it heal that is what I am meaning.
One thing that helped me was as soon as the thought came into my mind I would say in my ming (go away Satan) and then try to think of something else really quickly such as, what I was going to have for lunch, something I really liked. Now the throughts didn't magically go away straight away but over time the more I practised it the easier it became to fight those thoughts, occasionally a bad thought might cross my mind " even now" and I will get to "go away" and my mind has already fought the thought away before I have finished the sentence. I also found that imagining myself by a beautiful waterfall, or running along the beach, or a beautiful mountain scene helped. I will pray that God shows you in a special way how much he loves you as he did to me. Once you KNOW the depth of his love you will be set free:clap:.

I am praying for you:crossrc:
faithfulfriend
 
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gracechick

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I know what you're saying. Sometimes I feel like that little angry icon on here. The one were the little guy takes his head & beats it against a brick wall. Maybe then my mind would be distracted. sigh.

I like what you had to say faithfulfriend. I'm so happy for you that you have found a lot of relief in God's grace. That's awesome.
 
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marcb

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It sounds so simple, and I heard this months ago (but never heeded it completely), but truly looking at the thoughts as meaningless and "just ocd symptoms" has brought me a peaceful week. I now can focus on what God's blessings, mystery, and will for me are - it is nearly impossible to do this if you are trying to make sense of it all.

Scripture reading for learning vs. strictly to look for the reassurance my ocd desired has been a new experience, and I have gained so much value (and assurance). The Bible truly speaks of God's love and grace in its fullness. This is so much greater than any thought. In isolation and out of context, it can say whatever your mood or ocd symptoms dictate, which are usually false and out of context. Read the entire book of Ephesians (it won't take too long) and compare this to your thoughts....

God Bless,

Marc
 
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amishparadise

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I sympathize with the frustration at your therapist. I've been through more inappropriate therapists than I can shake a stick at (inappropriate, as in, zero training in OCD, totally geared toward depressives and people with relationship problems, no concept of any of the symptoms I was talking about, etc.) It's really demoralizing, when you're trying so hard to get well...
 
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gracechick

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It sounds so simple, and I heard this months ago (but never heeded it completely), but truly looking at the thoughts as meaningless and "just ocd symptoms" has brought me a peaceful week. I now can focus on what God's blessings, mystery, and will for me are - it is nearly impossible to do this if you are trying to make sense of it all.

Scripture reading for learning vs. strictly to look for the reassurance my ocd desired has been a new experience, and I have gained so much value (and assurance). The Bible truly speaks of God's love and grace in its fullness. This is so much greater than any thought. In isolation and out of context, it can say whatever your mood or ocd symptoms dictate, which are usually false and out of context. Read the entire book of Ephesians (it won't take too long) and compare this to your thoughts....

God Bless,

Marc
You're right. It is a useless endeavor to try to ignore or reason with those thoughts that get stuck.
Our mind & emotions can so quickly be injected with false thoughts & feelings by the devil. & instead of leaning on the shifting sands of those I should be focusing on the unchanging Rock:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

N' God bless you Marc for sharing your experiences:)
 
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I know what you're saying. Sometimes I feel like that little angry icon on here. The one were the little guy takes his head & beats it against a brick wall. Maybe then my mind would be distracted. sigh.

I like what you had to say faithfulfriend. I'm so happy for you that you have found a lot of relief in God's grace. That's awesome.
Thank you gracechick for your comment.. That little icon is VERY applicable. I hope that those who are suffering OCD symptoms right now can know that others have walked their path and we can reach out our hand to them and offer them help and hope though Jesus. Bless you.
 
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