Does Christmas make you sad ?

[RickardoHolmes]

So here is the situation. My parents, who live some distance away, have allowed a freeloader to move in with them. This person was once married to a family member, but is no longer. She has a child out of wedlock. Because my parents cannot say "no" to helping anyone outside of the family, she has moved in with them.
She has no job, no prospects. She is mentally ill, not sure if diagnosed or what, but she has all the traits of bipolar as well as BPD. She actually denies that there is anything wrong with her I heard her say "The problem is everybody else" She hates me, my wife and kids, my siblings, and has done her best to alienate us. She is one of the most hateful people I have ever seen. She cannot get or keep a job due to her attitude and inability to get along with others. She lacks self esteem and self respect to work with anyone, but not to take advantage of others.
She was raised by a pastor father in a very abusive church. She admits to physical abuse, says she was beaten and spanked for any transgression until she passed out. She was probably sexually abused too. I had met her parents long ago, they are the typical white trailer trash one would expect. She has nothing to do with them, if they are even alive anymore.
Now everyone seems to regret her, but she has succeeded in breaking up our family.

Which is ironic, since I had seriously considered walking away from all of them years ago, but never did.

Now, I look and see that my parents, my brother (who will not even speak to me now because of her) and my sister (whom she hates with a passion) are kept apart.
My brother and I used to be sort of close, but because of her he will not even speak to me now. (He used to be married to her, and the kid she has, while she was still married to him, is not his) I know how I would have dealt with her had it been me, but that is probably the same story one would hear from jail, too.

At Christmas, when I think of all the fun we had as kids, before there were such toxic people around, I remember Christmas fondly.

It was the only time of the year that we went to a friendly church on Christmas Eve.
It was the ONLY day of the year my dad stayed home and interacted with is, that he did not have his nose in a book or be off doing some chore somewhere.

Now I have my own wife and kids. And the only reason I bring this up is because at Christmas, not having parents who will call because they are too busy dealing with the mentally ill resident, not getting a card or a call from my brother to say Merry Christmas and not being welcome when I do visit my own parents, makes this a little more difficult.

BUT we have something in the works My sister is having a lawyer look into an eviction as well as a restraining order. She will not be allowed to contact either of us, or my parents IF we can get them to agree. She will have to go out into the world, with her nameless child, and face the streets. No one, even my parents I gather, really want her there. I have suggested that they evict her but for some reason, they won't. SO we will have to do it for them.
Asfor my brother, no idea why he has just dropped my from his reality, but I guess anyone who marries a crazy woman must be a little unstable too.

 

[☦Marius☦]

Often times we want things our way, and judge a situation based on what WE want. But you could use this opportunity to show this woman unconditional love no matter what. Your family situation sounds horrendous, and I know around the holidays that is tough. My Christmas will be spent by myself, just try to focus on what the season is actually about: Christ. Through that and prayer I am sure you will be able to handle whatever situation is presented.

 

[Jeshu]

Horrible situation much love gone and goodwill lacking and so much unforgiven sin, consequently much misery and even hate. A deadly situation that is in desperate need of grace, love and goodwill if it was only alive in your heart.

Try and seek after these things in your own life first and then pass it out all around you as well. The more of God's loving grace you apply the more chance you have overcoming this damaged woman gone haywire in your family and help her, others as well as yourself in real life.

Please don't try and do good to her as the situation is. Rather try to forgive her and love her unconditionally in your own heart first, however don't loose sight of your own needs in all of this for His love has to fill the cup within before it begins to flow over. Always try and remember that when you apply the law of love to a situation.

You are facing an extremely difficult situation and you may well need to protect yourself from this person to start of with until ability to forgive and love begin to grow within your heart towards her, others and yourself.

Much love your way.

Romans 12:9-21
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practise hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.


Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary:

‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’


Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.