Does anyone else go through this????

[ShannonJ]

Ok so everything started for me in April. I had a "panic attack" one day kind of out of the blue. A few days later I started to feel as if I was in a waking dream. I have been told this is derealization. It lasted several days and was so scary. I went to the doctor and she put me on Lexapro. It seemed to help but after about 6 weeks I decided that I did not like the way it made me feel so I started to taper myself off of it and the derealization came back along with a couple of panic attacks. I don't know if anyone has ever experienced this but it is not fun. So anyway the doctor I had been seeing did not seem to want to address my problems other then put me on medication so I switched doctors. Well he told me to "just stop" taking the meds so I did, and I think that led me into a downward spiral very quickly. I felt like there was no hope for me, that I would have to feel like I was walking around in a dream for the rest of my life. The times when I felt like I was living in reality it did not feel connected to myself. It is kind of hard to explain but to me it's like I am watching someone else live my life. It's like I can hear my voice and see myself going about daily activites and I am strange to myself, I don't even like to look at myself in the mirror because it is like I can't relate. Does this make any sense?
Well moving on.... with all of this going on I just felt so hopeless, I was scared to go to work and I just wanted to cry all of the time. All I wanted to do was lay down but I could never get any "good" sleep I would wake up ever hour of the night. So this went on for about a month until my doctor put me on effexor. It took several weeks but I am "overall" feeling better. I have recently had several days where I feel disconnected and like I am in a dream. Does anyone else go through this? I am still taking my anti-depressant but for the past few days, I have felt pretty depressed again and I am scared that it will get as bad as it did before. I know this is a long post but any thoughts would be great.

 

[RuthD]

Yes, I have felt detached from myself and like I had no feelings. I don't know if that's the same thing. I hope you do well on the effexor. Try telling your doctor you still have some episodes. He will probably raise the dose for you. Best wishes for a recovery for you!

 

[Petunia]

I don't know if you've seen it or not.. but there's a thread about this in the anxiety/panic forum.

Just thought you may be interested.

http://www.christianforums.com/t4789182-derealization-depersonalization.html

 

[lvbeads]

Hi Shannonj,

Yes, I have had "derealization" where I felt like I was living in a movie, kind of like watching myself live. The only treatment that has ever worked for me is medication. I currently like Abilify a lot, since it does not cause me any side effects (may be different for you). I would suggest you keep working with your doc on getting the right meds until you feel better (or at least feel good enough).

PM me if you need to talk!
God bless...

 

[doremi]

What you describe is actually quite common, though it isn't talked about very often. Have you seen a psychiatrist for medication? They specialize in these things and will often spend more time with you on this issue than a typical MD.

 

[NavyGuy7]

No, I have not had panic attacks. Yes, I have felt this derealization, though I don't think it's moderate or severe, or anything.
I have felt like reality was a dream, but I knew I was wide awake. Like, there was something more to this life than just breath in, out, eat this, etc.
But I don't focus on it. I act in it. So what if it feels like a dream? It's not, and I know it. Just don't focus on the fact that it feels like a dream, and focus on living. Maybe it's all in your mind.

 

[Matty1919]

I don't think I have been through a similar situation, but I have very real dreams that I often confuse with reality. I've asked my mom if something happened or not quite often.

 

[Lisa0315]

Ok so everything started for me in April. I had a "panic attack" one day kind of out of the blue. A few days later I started to feel as if I was in a waking dream. I have been told this is derealization. It lasted several days and was so scary. I went to the doctor and she put me on Lexapro. It seemed to help but after about 6 weeks I decided that I did not like the way it made me feel so I started to taper myself off of it and the derealization came back along with a couple of panic attacks. I don't know if anyone has ever experienced this but it is not fun. So anyway the doctor I had been seeing did not seem to want to address my problems other then put me on medication so I switched doctors. Well he told me to "just stop" taking the meds so I did, and I think that led me into a downward spiral very quickly. I felt like there was no hope for me, that I would have to feel like I was walking around in a dream for the rest of my life. The times when I felt like I was living in reality it did not feel connected to myself. It is kind of hard to explain but to me it's like I am watching someone else live my life. It's like I can hear my voice and see myself going about daily activites and I am strange to myself, I don't even like to look at myself in the mirror because it is like I can't relate. Does this make any sense?
Well moving on.... with all of this going on I just felt so hopeless, I was scared to go to work and I just wanted to cry all of the time. All I wanted to do was lay down but I could never get any "good" sleep I would wake up ever hour of the night. So this went on for about a month until my doctor put me on effexor. It took several weeks but I am "overall" feeling better. I have recently had several days where I feel disconnected and like I am in a dream. Does anyone else go through this? I am still taking my anti-depressant but for the past few days, I have felt pretty depressed again and I am scared that it will get as bad as it did before. I know this is a long post but any thoughts would be great.

Hi Shannon,
I used to have panic attacks in the middle of the night. That was not so much related to my depression as much as it was related to circumstances. At least for me...Anyway, I also take Lexapro and it took me about a month before some really weird side effects went away. However, now, I am better than I have ever been in my life.

I haven't ever had the derealization. They thought that was related to depression? Please tell me more because my husband is bipolar and he is in one of his down cycles at the moment.

Lisa

 

[Lisa0315]

I don't think I have been through a similar situation, but I have very real dreams that I often confuse with reality. I've asked my mom if something happened or not quite often.

I do that all the time!!! I will literally start talking about it at work and people will look at me like I am crazy. Guess, I sorta am! I have to laugh at myself, but depression is no laughing matter. It is hard, hard, hard, and people do not understand it if they have never had it. I get people telling me, "Oh, I was depressed when my father died, but after about a month, I made up my mind that I was going to do this or that and that is how I got over it" I tell them that is not really depression or it is not clinical depression. This is not something that I can just decide to get over one day. You know? Sorry to rant.

Lisa

 

[ShannonJ]

Hi Shannon,
I used to have panic attacks in the middle of the night. That was not so much related to my depression as much as it was related to circumstances. At least for me...Anyway, I also take Lexapro and it took me about a month before some really weird side effects went away. However, now, I am better than I have ever been in my life.

I haven't ever had the derealization. They thought that was related to depression? Please tell me more because my husband is bipolar and he is in one of his down cycles at the moment.

Lisa

Hi! Mostly derealizationand depersonalization is related to anxiety but sometimes it exists with depression and to me it has caused me to become more depressed, (although I am doing much better with it now). It is a very strange and mentally uncomfortable feeling. The derealization, to me, feels like having the clarity of being in a waking dream, it is like a funky dizziness (kinda hard to explain) the depersonalization, which seemed to heighten with depression, again to me, is like watching yourself go through the motions of the day but you are not really there. Feeling like you have lost your sense of identity. When it is really bad I just don't feel like myself and what make that scary is I start wondering "what does myself feel like?" This may sound strange but it is almost like being afraid of yourself. Like you know you are in there and it is you but there is this dissociation from you that you can't put you finger on and you feel void of any genuine connection, even my own voice sounds strange at times and I wonder where it comes from. I know I am rambling but it is a really hard feeling to explain, and not one that I would wish on anyone.

 

[Aredhel]

I have a lot of incidents like this, even more when I was a kid. I'm already seeing a bunch of therapists and stuff, on medication for different depression and anxiety related issues, but I've never heard of anyone else having this same "derealization" thing.

It happened a LOT when I was younger. I went through about three or four months of being in this daze when I was about 12, and my mom finally noticed something was wrong when I was wandering around the grocery store with them in my daze, and I ran into some poor old lady with a shopping cart. Thats when I went to the doctors.

 

[Lisa0315]

Hi! Mostly derealizationand depersonalization is related to anxiety but sometimes it exists with depression and to me it has caused me to become more depressed, (although I am doing much better with it now). It is a very strange and mentally uncomfortable feeling. The derealization, to me, feels like having the clarity of being in a waking dream, it is like a funky dizziness (kinda hard to explain) the depersonalization, which seemed to heighten with depression, again to me, is like watching yourself go through the motions of the day but you are not really there. Feeling like you have lost your sense of identity. When it is really bad I just don't feel like myself and what make that scary is I start wondering "what does myself feel like?" This may sound strange but it is almost like being afraid of yourself. Like you know you are in there and it is you but there is this dissociation from you that you can't put you finger on and you feel void of any genuine connection, even my own voice sounds strange at times and I wonder where it comes from. I know I am rambling but it is a really hard feeling to explain, and not one that I would wish on anyone.

Thanks for the insight. I am so sorry you are going through this. That sounds very scary. Do you have good support?

Lisa

 

[ShannonJ]

Thanks for the insight. I am so sorry you are going through this. That sounds very scary. Do you have good support?

Lisa

Yes I have wonderful support! I am getting better with this every day. The depersonalization is somewhat related to OCD where I feel like I have to constantly monitor my every thought and action for a sense of normalcy but I am getting better at just trusting myself and letting things go. It is a process but I know I am on the road to recovery and that someday I will see the full purpose of me having to go through this!

 

[Lisa0315]

Yes I have wonderful support! I am getting better with this every day. The depersonalization is somewhat related to OCD where I feel like I have to constantly monitor my every thought and action for a sense of normalcy but I am getting better at just trusting myself and letting things go. It is a process but I know I am on the road to recovery and that someday I will see the full purpose of me having to go through this!

Huggles! That is exactly right! Someday, you will know the purpose, and likely that is going to be so that you can help someone else.

Lisa

 

[stacii]

I used to get this feeling quite often. It's terrible and scary and I'm so sorry that anyone else has to go through it. I take Zoloft and it helps a lot. Every month and a half or so I still get that feeling and know that a panic attack is coming. Usually the feeling lasts only several hours as opposed to several days and it doesn't happen anywhere near as often. Stick with the Effexor - it is probably helping more than you notice.

 

[Lisa0315]

Hope this doesn't embarrass any guys who may be here, but have y'all noticed symptoms getting worse around a certain time if you know what I mean. Mine definitely used to but the meds seem to help with that tremendously.

Lisa

 

[junezephyr]

Hope this doesn't embarrass any guys who may be here, but have y'all noticed symptoms getting worse around a certain time if you know what I mean. Mine definitely used to but the meds seem to help with that tremendously.

Lisa

I've noticed that things tend to get worse right after that time, and sometimes a week or so before it. That's when my emotions/etc seem the most volatile.