Does anyone else feel this way?

[blmiles]

Just a warning....I have a feeling that this will be a very long post. Sorry!

I just noticed that someone posted a thread "things are not well between me and God". Maybe I should have posted this under that thread....because that describes me to a T right now...I don't know why I didn't...

Anways here it goes. I became a Christian a little over two years ago although for the past couple of months I couldn't honestly call myself a Christian. I spent a lot of time in the beginning reading the Bible and just getting to know God and getting closer to Him. I was on top of the world. I'm not saying I didn't have struggles because I did...but I always knew that God was there with me helping me through them. I didn't worry about a dating or forming a relationship with anyone else cause I felt that I needed to focus on my relationship with God first and get my life centered around him before anyone or anything else was brought into the picture....although in the back of my heart I had been praying for God to move in my (guy) friend's life and secretly hoping that he and I would eventually get together. Later, I felt that God was leading me toward this guy (his name is Keven). At first when I prayed about, I kept getting the answer...wait....wait....wait. Then I thought that I got confirmation that what I wanted was what God wanted for me too. I could go into specifics but then this would be a VERY long post but just trust that the answers I got were very specific...I have wondered if it was God telling me that or if it was just something that I wanted to hear so badly that I convinced myself if it was God...but even now...thinking back...I don't see how I could have taken any of it any differently than I did.

Two years later and nothing has changed. Well they have but they've gotten worse. I think I'm feeling weary right now. There's a verse in Galatians (6:9 to be specific) that tells us not to grow weary in doing good....but that's exactly how I feel. I look around at all of the people who aren't Christians and its so easy for them...they can find someone and be happy...and they act like heathens...and here i am trying to do the right thing and live my life in a way that is pleasing to God....and its not easy for me...not at all....instead I'm in love with someone who says he doesn't have those feelings for me anymore...and for some reason I just can't get over it. I've prayed for God to get us back together and I've prayed just as fervently for him to take these feelings away. But it seems as if my prayers don't get any farther than the ceiling....if they get that far. I know to some of you this may seem silly or unimportant. You may be thinking "Just get over it and him" but its not that easy. If it were, I wouldn't be here.

And I find myself crying "God, don't you see me? Do you care about what I'm going through?" and I'm frustrated. I'm so tired of crying and crying over this situation and feeling better about it for awhile only to have it come crashing down again. And honestly I feel like God has let me down. And I just don't know how to get past it.

I still believe in God and I even believe that He only wants the best for me. So I don't know what my problem is. I miss my relationship with God. I miss talking to Him about my day and knowing that He's listening to me and that He cares. I look back on my posts from last year when I was on fire and look at how far I am from that now and wonder how do I get back to that. I know that God forgives....that's not what I'm saying....I'm just wondering how I get past myself to get back to that. I'm my own worst enemy I guess because I want the relationship with God but I just don't want to put forth the effort it requires. Or maybe I just want my prayers answered now. I'm tired of waiting....I'm so tired of waiting.

I don't know why I posted this on here. I don't know what I'm hoping for. I've had a lot of good advice given already but it just leaves me feeling empty. Maybe y'all can offer something I haven't heard. Either way....just keep me in your prayers because I feel like I can't even pray for myself right now.


Thanks.

 

[BlessEwe]

Big Hug for you,

I do believe God has some wonderful plans for you, even better than what you think is the best for you. I remember feeling the same way about a guy, praying to God please let this happen with this person. Well it didn't and I was very upset.
A few years later, God put my husband in my life, and then my children. Now I look back and say Thank you God for knowing what was the best thing for me, even though I couldn't see it myself.

At times as christians we go into valleys. We feel dry, pain, and alone. Really this is when God works with us, because we are at the end of ourselves. It is peeling the skin of us, which I have found looking back it brings me closer to God each time. The main thing to do is continue on praying ( asking the Holy Spirit to pray if you are un-able to) read your bible and trust in God. I have written things down in the past while in these valleys and come back to look at the letter later, and can really see for myself Gods Hand gently moving. Even though I couldn't feel it at the time I wrote the letter.
Try not to let the enemy in at this time and lie to you saying God has left you, because He hasn't. Trust and Know that I Am God.

 

[goldenviolet]

bless your heart little sister. we can be mature, but we are still children. it's ok. the Lord calls us as children. in these seasons when you can't seem to get on track;
confess this; and ask the Lord to put you back on track. ask Him to shape your will, take your unwillingness, willfulness, and willingness. the Lord knows our hearts; and uses these things about us to shape us, and draw us into truth. you are in my prayers and blessings, xo dee

Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the LORD will be joyful. Proverbs 16:20

there is nothing like guilt, because we did the wrong thing... chose the flesh over the spirit. we've all done it; we all do it. but there comes a point of maturity of where we seek to practice the spiritual and fight the flesh. we practice, and we pray, we seek, and we cry out for God to take our will; and replace it with His. we confess we are willful and sometimes unwilling; and we ask God to take our little bits of willingness and just guide us through getting it right: what amazing spiritual prosperity and overwelmingly awesome joy... to learn to, just give it to the Lord... practice... practice... practice... practice... !!

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalms 90:12

The one thing I ask of the Lord, the thing I seek most,
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.
Psalm 27:4

God walks daily with us...

Give us this day our daily bread. Matthew 6:11

He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. Luke 9:23

And daily in the temple, and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ. Acts 5:42

These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so. Acts 17:11

I affirm, by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily. 1 Corinthians 15:31

besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. 2 Corinthians 11:28

but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13


practice filling up on God's promises...

practice applying them to your life...

practice filling up on God's promises...

practice applying them to your life...

By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
Proverbs 24:3

​

His character:
*compassion*
the compassion of God's love
is bigger than His wrath...
invision His compassion:
He calls you by name.
seek His compassion:
it bought you eternal life.
exstend His compassion:
we are His hands and feet;
the salt and light of the earth.
when touched by the compassion of the Father;
accomplish great things.
leave the compassion of the Father;
miss great things.

​

 

[mon_cherri_flower]

our christian life style is something we must not only continually build upon;
but our spiritual growth is never complete in this life. only our rebirth into eternity with our Jesus can complete us. building upon what you have in Christ, is a daily mission... lean not on your own understanding:
trust that all things work toward good for those seeking the Lord's will.
your comfort is His promise to never leave or forsake you. He is faithful. so much we don't understand or know! but His grace is compassionate and merciful...
and seeks you right where you are; just as you are.

 

[blmiles]

Ok...I just tried to post a reply to all of this on here but somehow my reply got lost.....hmmmmm....oh well...I'll try to remember what it said and type it again.

First of all, I just want to thank all of you for your replies and your prayers. They mean so much to me.

Second, I have a praise report. I'm sure you all know this, but prayer works! I just got back from a walk
(walking=time to think and talk to God), and during that time, I got my life back on track. The first thing I wanted to do was tell someone that I'm back, and who better to tell than the people who prayed for me. Of course there was this little voice at the back of my mind that said why tell them now? What if you're wrong and this is like other times and you think that things are better and it turns out to be just a brief moment and then you're back to feeling like you've been feeling? I'm happy to say that I IGNORED THAT VOICE! I'm not wrong and I'm not being presumptuous because I feel more alive now than I have in months!

I realized that the reason, I've been feeling so miserable is because I was choosing to feel miserable. And as for the situation with the guy (Keven), well I can't honestly say that I don't still feel like God was telling me that I'm going to be with him. But I do know that God doesn't need my help to fix it. And he certainly doesn't need me to sit around feeling sorry for myself. Now, I'm choosing happiness.

Thanks again for all of your support and prayers!

 

[Onlythingavailable]

That's great! Praised be the Lord! The devil wants us to be miserable and unhappy. Now, I'm not saying life is supposed to be a dance on roses, but when we're unhappy it doesn't affect only us negatively, but everyone around us too!

Stay strong, sister, and, please, keep us updated!

 

[Billnew]

I have felt that way, and even clicked off of this thread because I am feeling htat way now.
I am at a low with God, and I know that is comon. We get close and then we fall away.

I look at life as I am a toddler and God is my parent, I run from him with wobbly legs, trying to show God I can do it myself. And when I fall I cry and wonder why God would let me fall, look up and his hands are held out to help me up, and that they always were there, if I had just reached for him, I wouldn't have fallen. No matter how deep in the sea of dispair I swim, God is walking behind me, hands waiting for me to call to him. But sometimes satan can call you out farther, and then tell you, surely god won't help you know. But he is always there.
The hardest thing for me, is Gods time.

I pleaded to God, that I was alone in the world, never had a girlfriend, and was in Greece. I begged for someone in my life. I met a girl in athens, we dated a couple times, and she told me she was thinking about
moving to another country. I prayed to God for her to stay. She did, but had a boyfriend. Basically God was telling me, this was a friend, not the love of my life.
A year later, I was again depressed, my last year in the military, and had no plans for the future. I prayed for direction and for the person I had asked for in Greece, doubting if there was a person for me.
Not long after I recieved a letter from someone in Ohio, and she told me all about herself. But didn't tell me how she got my address. I am married to that girl and we have 2 daughters, and only been married for 15 yrs.
Cupid, Gods messingers, My Mom and Her Step Grandmother.
Remember, not our time. Gods time.
Hope this helps.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Very inspiring post Billnew! If you can write like this when you are at a low with God, I wonder how He uses you when you are at a high!

Cupid, Gods messingers, My Mom and Her Step Grandmother.

One question, what do you mean by this?

 

[Billnew]

Very inspiring post Billnew! If you can write like this when you are at a low with God, I wonder how He uses you when you are at a high! One question, what do you mean by this?

My Mom and her Step grandmother told her to write to me, they were "cupid" and God's messingers.

It does help to stop and remember what God has given me, at my request.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

Wow, you and I are going through the same struggle.

I, too, fail in love (lust) with a guy who has no feelings for me and I swore that God had made him just for me. My biggest problem was thinking that God just some how left me and decided not to give me any direction. And boy is that frustrating. And the verse from Galatians 6:9 (And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart) always pops in my head but sometimes I feel like I will not reap anything because I did lose heart (for a second...maybe a minute) and then that frustrates me even more because I felt like I've been on fire for God for a long time and all of that has been casted aside.

Okay, I'm rambling. I would love to give you the greatest advice in the world (that will help you realize that God is there) but I think in a year, looking back with hindsight, we both will see that God was working in our lives, it was just unnoticeable because we refused to see what He was doing and kept blocking Him with our own expectations.