Does age matter?

[tahoe]

Is 11 or 12 years going to make much of a difference? The guy is older than the girl btw.

Just curious if anyone has had any experience with such a large age gap.

 

[elephunky]

My mum and step dad have a 13 year age gap. Its caused some issues but they seem to work through it, has worked for the last 20 years so they must be doing something right.

 

[Toro]

Age isn't a problem if you don't allow it to be.

Its about how two people feel about each other, its not a math class, numbers don't matter.

 

[Rhye]

I think it matters in many ways.

 

[tahoe]

That's awesome dgirl!

I just feel immature. And he's not.

 

[Carmella Prochaska]

I wouldn't go with a guy > 10 years older than me. I don't want my kids to have a grandfather as a dad.

 

[PetLuv]

I've dated 21 years older than me and regularly date over 12 years older.

Most of the time it does not make much of a difference - but since my plans are not about having a family there is no real issue.
That sort of thing can be the biggest issue for any couple, but if you have the same life goals I really don't see it as an issue at all.

 

[Toro]

Abraham and Sarah had an age gap

Simple fact is, how you feel about someone, if they make you happy, worry not what others think and live your life the way you feel is His path for you.

Not everyone is meant to live the same life, have the same partner type.

 

[Ghazkhull]

psychologically speaking: men mature slower than women, so it would be preferably if the guy is slightly older than the woman (betwen 2 to 6 years give or take, alot depends on the person really)

biologically speaking: the older a man is the more flawed his sperm becomes, so chances of conceiveing not so healthy babies increases, specially asperger kids.

just letting you know both aspects so you take into consideration the pros and cons.

 

[Toro]

Well a child can be born with issues regardless, how your child is born is based on His will more than age.

My sister had her youngest son while she was young he is autistic.

My best friend just had a child and his baby had to have lip surgery. and neither of them are old.

Yet my step brother and his wife, both in their late 40s early 50s had their first and it was a happy healthy baby girl.

God controls things not stats or what some "professional" say

 

[Niels]

If two people compatible in other ways, an 11 or 12 year age gap is negligible. I'd be more concerned about things like a lifestyle gap, values gap etc. I've met "old" 25 year olds and "young" 50 year olds... and I'm not talking about maturity or lack thereof.

 

[ADreamToSome]

Well.................
I'm pretty much counting on a decent gap being acceptable at this point.

I think, as others have said, ladies just develop faster. You get way more opportunities, and therefor probably have the experience of a, lets say 31 year old guy, by 24, relationship wise. (in terms of numbers)

And...idk, I think I look pretty young, and ....stuff.

 

[TwistTim]

It matters as much as you want it to matter.

My Grandparents on my mother's side were 9 years apart and had a successful 50+ year marriage(It only terminated because Pa-Pa passed away.)

I've known of other couples with big age gaps that also stayed faithfully together, and I've known more than my fair share of couples who are the same age who have also stayed together.

and I know about the same stats for the divorce rate.

Also, I am attracted to younger women, and they are attracted to me, women around my age? not so much for them being attracted to me, so I gotta go younger for a wife.(Or much older, which I don't want to do)

 

[Jupiter Drops]

I feel like it is. I would rather find someone who's about the same age as me or at least 5 years older. If you go younger, maybe 1-2 years tops. But I seriously don't want someone younger...

It works out for some people. For me, no.

 

[Ghazkhull]

Well a child can be born with issues regardless, how your child is born is based on His will more than age.

My sister had her youngest son while she was young he is autistic.

My best friend just had a child and his baby had to have lip surgery. and neither of them are old.

Yet my step brother and his wife, both in their late 40s early 50s had their first and it was a happy healthy baby girl.

God controls things not stats or what some "professional" say

Im just saying the sperm quality decreases, thus increasing the chances of unhealthy babies being born, there's no asbolutes in here, just chances.
just like the women's egg quality decreases with age as well.
and sperm count in men.
It's just biology and aging, sure noone's exempt from things like the ones you mentioned from happening, but it's like how smoking increases the chances of someone getting cancer, in no way it becomes smoker = cancer, just a higher risk chance.

 

[RayofSun]

Does age play a role? Of course. But what matters more is maturity. I've found it to be a larger determinant of a successful and healthy relationship. Are the two individuals at the same place in their lives and mentality, and are they heading in the same direction? With a big age gap, there needs to be great communication and also patience. But that's probably beneficial in any relationship

 

[Toro]

and I know about the same stats for the divorce rate.

Well thats a separate issue IMO, marriages don;t fail due to age (well the number part of it anyway) its a commitment issue.

People either think it will "fix" their life to be married (not the case) from what I hear from those around me that have been married. If you don't have your "crud" together (cleaned up) a marriage will only put that under the magnifying glass and make it worse. (Which makes sense, how can you expect someone else to make YOU happy when not even you yourself can achieve it)

Or they don't understand that there is NO SUCH THING as a fairy tale marriage.

Love is the only reason to get married, marriages dont last 30, 40, 50 years cause of love, they last because two people knew what devotion and commitment to one another meant and they work HARD to make it last.

 

[Toro]

Im just saying the sperm quality decreases, thus increasing the chances of unhealthy babies being born, there's no asbolutes in here, just chances.
just like the women's egg quality decreases with age as well.
and sperm count in men.
It's just biology and aging, sure noone's exempt from things like the ones you mentioned from happening, but it's like how smoking increases the chances of someone getting cancer, in no way it becomes smoker = cancer, just a higher risk chance.

I understand, and I don't disagree with statistics, BUT
those stats can also be skewed due to the fact that it isn't all that common for folks to turn lets say.... 50 and say "Lets have a baby"

So your numbers are less than those of the 20-30s range.

You have say 1 million babys to the young, say 50,000 of them have a "defect."

You have 10 older people having a baby with a "defect" out of say 100 your percentage will go up, less "subjects" means every one account for more.

Like baseball and football.

Lose 10 games in baseball, no big deal

Lose 10 in football, you had a terrible season.

All I am saying is I would rather put my trust in Him if I wanted a child and was old, than some "stats"

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Think about it, Sharon...do you even dare enter into this thread?

 

[Toro]

Think about it, Sharon...do you even dare enter into this thread?

Go head, its a DIRTY JOB

HA!!! I kill me.