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You know, I've been thinking about this post throughout the day.....I think that I might not be attracted to people who are attracted to me.Alright, I'll admit that I can't tell if I'm attractive or not. Straight guys really never can tell. Therefore, I have to take my "judgment" on empirical evidence.
This is what it tells me:
To go by numbers, I don't get the "7s, 8s, 9s".....10s are just not even in my conscious mind. However I do get hit on or can feel the "2s, 3s, 4s" and occasionally "5s" being attracted to me. Therefore I can put myself into the category of being a 5 or a 6, because that sounds about right from what is around me. Of course my "number" may be lower than it actually is, but judging from what is around me I think that's a fair score.
- Overabundance of men compared to attractive women at school means that I've been often almost out of the league of these women.
- This lack of attraction by attractive women continues on often into my "non-school" life. Often the women who still are attracted to me tend to have serious personality issues (unlike medical or mental issues, which I guess are normal and could be let go).
- I cannot even seem to date any sort of religious woman. Even when I was very involved in church activities and was a "light in the darkness", I was continually being shut down by a large variety of churchwomen. Continually. The more attractive, the more I was turned down for real tools. This continued into the last time I was at church in January. I really have since given up on women who go to church.....it's not worth it.
My scoring isn't just solely on looks but also on character and personality. Just fyi for the other people reading this.
You know, I've been thinking about this post throughout the day.....I think that I might not be attracted to people who are attracted to me.
Maybe. I'm not sure.
But it does make sense, in a way. If it's true, I have terrible self-worth.
I have to be hard on myself....it's how I become a better person. And a worse person. It's hard to draw a line between healthy self-criticism and then being a producer of too many poisonous thoughts.Its okay if you are not. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Only when I think of sex. Which for guys is pretty often.How much does it matter in your life? I think it's a good question.
sometimes yes, sometimes no
I've overcome a lot in this dept. where I believed, truly believed, I was the most wretchedly ugly person on Earth. It's been a hard road. I still have my moments; but I am also able to see the beautiful in myself now- but not in a disgusting self absorbed way.
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