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Do you think God has a Mac or PC?
- Thread starter Stryper
- Start date
Neither. Having a computer would be like a CPA-genius having an abacus. They're just for people would can't do it in their head (faster).
Really should have posed the question as "Do you think Jesus would have a Mac or PC?" This would have brought about some interesting debate on Jesus' knowledge and mental limitations in human form. *Big fun!*
Really should have posed the question as "Do you think Jesus would have a Mac or PC?" This would have brought about some interesting debate on Jesus' knowledge and mental limitations in human form. *Big fun!*
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You should be careful about starting threads like this, you might split a church into PC and Mac reforms. 
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1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he
created the Word.
2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And
God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.
3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said, "Let
the Data go to their proper places." And he created floppydisks and hard
disks and compact disks.
4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put
floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers
and called them hardware.
5. And there was no Software yet. But God created "programs"; small and
big. And told them - "Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory."
6. And God said - I will create the "programmer"; And the "Programmer" will
make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.
7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God
showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and sub-volumes but DO NOT USE Windows.
8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. He took
a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that would lookup
at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the
Programmer does; And God called the creature: "the User".
9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it
was Good.
10. But "Bill" was smarter and more devious than all the other creatures of
God. And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to run any
programs?
11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use
every program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.
12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you did
not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse.
13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier
to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless -since Windows could replace it.
14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and
said to the Programmers that it was good.
15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And
God asked him - What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And God
said, Who said you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the Programmer
said - It was Bill who told us to !
16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated by
all creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And you
will always sell Windows.
17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows will
disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use lousy
programs; and you will always rely on the Programmer's help.
18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User you
will never be happy. All your programs will have errors. and you will have
to fix them and fix them to the end of time.
19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and
secured it with a password.
20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT.
This is how all this stuff happened.
Don't blame me, just something I found on the web. And no this isn't in my Bible.
God Bless....In HIS Service....Dan
created the Word.
2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And
God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.
3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said, "Let
the Data go to their proper places." And he created floppydisks and hard
disks and compact disks.
4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put
floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers
and called them hardware.
5. And there was no Software yet. But God created "programs"; small and
big. And told them - "Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory."
6. And God said - I will create the "programmer"; And the "Programmer" will
make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.
7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God
showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and sub-volumes but DO NOT USE Windows.
8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. He took
a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that would lookup
at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the
Programmer does; And God called the creature: "the User".
9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it
was Good.
10. But "Bill" was smarter and more devious than all the other creatures of
God. And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to run any
programs?
11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use
every program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.
12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you did
not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse.
13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier
to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless -since Windows could replace it.
14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and
said to the Programmers that it was good.
15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And
God asked him - What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And God
said, Who said you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the Programmer
said - It was Bill who told us to !
16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated by
all creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And you
will always sell Windows.
17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows will
disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use lousy
programs; and you will always rely on the Programmer's help.
18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User you
will never be happy. All your programs will have errors. and you will have
to fix them and fix them to the end of time.
19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and
secured it with a password.
20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT.
This is how all this stuff happened.
Don't blame me, just something I found on the web. And no this isn't in my Bible.
God Bless....In HIS Service....Dan
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Ok...for all you people who took this question for realz need to get a hint... its all just for fun right???
So anywho...I think Gods computer is prolly insane...i bet its got like a terabyte of ram and like a 83498949832897 GHz processor...I mean comon' just imagine those games he is playin and the ram they take up... I mean you know God has to have a FPS and just sit there and punk the **** out of the devil all day long.... haha
-Grant
So anywho...I think Gods computer is prolly insane...i bet its got like a terabyte of ram and like a 83498949832897 GHz processor...I mean comon' just imagine those games he is playin and the ram they take up... I mean you know God has to have a FPS and just sit there and punk the **** out of the devil all day long.... haha
-Grant
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Les Grands Pieds
Regular Member
I bet God's computer would run on Mac OS 10. That OS is just heavenly! Also, God would know how much more worthy Apple is of financial help. God would settle the score and Apple would end up knocking Goliath (Microsoft) down to his death. God would take vengance for Apple and make things right. Apple deserves to be much more popular than Microsoft. They make a better product, and that's all there is to it!
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J
James Sez
Guest
A Calvinist friend has told me that God uses a Mac to keep track of the elect and non-elect. In fact, God created the Mac and gave it to humankind as a gift. I might add that IMHO He has given us free choice to use the heavenly Mac or that other one that was created by the prince of darkness.
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Jesus would run three computers:
- A Windows PC that never crashes.
- A Mac that was useful for something.
- A Linux server that was easy to operate and upgrade.
And in the back of your Bible they would be listed under "The Miracles of Jesus"
- A Windows PC that never crashes.
- A Mac that was useful for something.
- A Linux server that was easy to operate and upgrade.
And in the back of your Bible they would be listed under "The Miracles of Jesus"
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Chuck_Darwin
Well-Known Member
I think he handles all prayer request using a microsft solution. That is the only reason his response rate is so spotty....
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bugg_superstar
This is the title that ap
definitely an amiga....he was ahead of his time when he was here on earth
edit: for those who want details...the amiga 1000 which came out in 1985 had a 4096 color display palette, overscan mode, built-in stereo sound, long file names, 32 bit pre-emptive multitasking (pcs didn't have this till win95), multithreading, speech synthesis, hardware video accelerator, tv out....
edit: for those who want details...the amiga 1000 which came out in 1985 had a 4096 color display palette, overscan mode, built-in stereo sound, long file names, 32 bit pre-emptive multitasking (pcs didn't have this till win95), multithreading, speech synthesis, hardware video accelerator, tv out....
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OceanAngel
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bugg_superstar said:definitely an amiga....he was ahead of his time when he was here on earth
edit: for those who want details...the amiga 1000 which came out in 1985 had a 4096 color display palette, overscan mode, built-in stereo sound, long file names, 32 bit pre-emptive multitasking (pcs didn't have this till win95), multithreading, speech synthesis, hardware video accelerator, tv out....
Yeah, amigas rule
Plus the OS was easy too use, I remeber when I installed my HD into my old 1200, pluged it into the ide slot and it worked, last HD I installed to my pc took around half an hour fiddling with bios to get it to work.
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