Do you sleep in different beds?

[ej]

We've seen many, many threads concerning sex outside of marriage, debated civil vs spiritual marriage, probably to its death...

Is it okay for a courting couple (in a committed, serious relationship) to share a bed, fall asleep and wake up together?

I think yes... trust is imperative, and there are few things more beautiful than awaking with your loved one, ready to spend the day together. Bed sharing does NOT equal sex.

 

[sad astronaut]

"Heathens, all heathens!" Just kidding of course. I think it is okay as long as you are strong. If things start getting a little too physical, then it's not a good idea.

 

[rach]

I don't know exactly what would be the best thing to do. I know what you mean about waking up next to you boyfriend/girlfriend, it is a great experience. (I fell asleep many times during late-night movies) But I think that is all the more reason to wait to spend the night together, just because it would make your wedding night that much more magical. So even though sleeping in the same bed isn't inherently wrong, IMO, but I think it would be better saved for your wedding night.

Don't get me wrong, I was tempted to do this all the time with my boyfriend, but we are suppose to flee the sight of evil. And this would look BAD to those you are living with or around. I mean if my parents woke up in the morning my boyfriend's car was still at my house, the day would NOT be a pretty day. I hope you understand me, I think your question is very legitimate. Oh, and patience sometimes sucks!

 

[DaveKerwin]

I would not recommend it. I am ready to have sex and I can't. If I stayed the night at her place and in her bed.... sexualy immorality is a guarantee.

I don't think it is a wise choice because your flesh may lead you down a road you didn't think it would. I recommend staying at different places and in different beds until you are married.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

My fiancee and I have fallen asleep next to eachother many times while watching a movie or tv show. Nothing happened, we are always on a couch when we fall asleep. It is very nice to hear him breathing and his heart beat, but we know that the bed is to be shared only after marriage. If I have to spend the night at his house, ie: He is flying out the next morning(he is in the service) or his family is going on a trip and we need to leave early, I simply stay in their guest room, unless his siter and her family are down, then I take the couch in the upstairs livingroom, as he has an apartment in their basement. This helps us to aviod that temptation that we may feel. I hope that this made since.

Oh, and when we visit my parents in a different state, I slept on the floor and he took the couch. The couch was to soft for me. I think that this next time we go to see my parents, I will be staying with my sister and he will be staying with my parents. My mother suggested we rent a hotel room and I said, "Mom?" and she changed her mind about that one.

 

[sad astronaut]

"Heathens, all heathens!" Just kidding of course. I think it is okay as long as you are strong. If things start getting a little too physical, then it's not a good idea.

On second thought, sleeping in the same bed probably isn't a good idea, especially if it's done regularly. I was thinking more along the lines of a nap, but then I realized your question involved actually sleeping. It's something anyone should pray about.

 

[ZiSunka]

The Amish let engaged couples sleep in the same bed.

 

[sad astronaut]

The Amish let engaged couples sleep in the same bed.

Those Amish! Always on the cutting edge of society's rules.

 

[IslandBreeze]

The Amish let engaged couples sleep in the same bed.

Holy cow! Are you serious? That's really interesting! Do you know any background information that would explain why they do that? That is so strange! Yet so very intriguing!

 

[ZiSunka]

Yep, I'm serious. I have an ex-Amish friend and he swears that is one of their customs. I forget what they call it, but I have read about it in books, too.

The thinking behind it is, Amish engagements only last a few weeks. You decide to marry, and within three to six weeks, you have the wedding. And often, Amish men move into their fiancee's home to help with the preparations for the wedding. Building their home, if he doesn't already have one, building their furniture, helping with the farm chores, etc. The parents just trust that the couple will control themselves, and since the girl probably shares her room with her sisters, it's a pretty safe bet. It's like premarital pair-bonding.

 

[IslandBreeze]

Yep, I'm serious. I have an ex-Amish friend and he swears that is one of their customs. I forget what they call it, but I have read about it in books, too.

The thinking behind it is, Amish engagements only last a few weeks. You decide to marry, and within three to six weeks, you have the wedding. And often, Amish men move into their fiancee's home to help with the preparations for the wedding. Building their home, if he doesn't already have one, building their furniture, helping with the farm chores, etc. The parents just trust that the couple will control themselves, and since the girl probably shares her room with her sisters, it's a pretty safe bet. It's like premarital pair-bonding.

That is really neat! Thanks for sharing! I had NEVER heard of that before!

 

[ZiSunka]

"Bundling"! They call it "bundling"! Whew! It was bugging me that I couldn't remember.

 

[GodBoy809]

heres what i think....As long as the people are strong, then it would be ok to do on occasion. like if one spent the night at the others house. But i would say not to do it on a regular bases.

 

[DaveKerwin]

heres what i think....As long as the people are strong, then it would be ok to do on occasion. like if one spent the night at the others house. But i would say not to do it on a regular bases.

I am not sure I would recommend the occasionaly sleep-in-my-bed either. If you do it once in a while, you might as well make a habit of it. The reason you would not do it all the time is because it can easily lead to immoraitly, so if that is true, even the occasional instance should not be acceptable.

So what defines "strong" ? I have had a few minor slip ups in my relationship, but many boundaries have not been crossed (thank God). So does this mean I am strong? I don't think I am strong.

 

[GodBoy809]

only a better reason not to do it

 

[ZiSunka]

I think for people with self-control, it's largely harmless, the trouble is, who has that kind of self-control over a long period of time.

Once in a while is okay. Every night could lead to trouble.

 

[SonWorshipper]

Why tempt yourself? Why cheat yourself out of waiting for that special wedding night?

 

[Vixen Evenstar]

Well. Accidently is one thing. I think going to bed is another thing. I know that personally, i wouldn't do it. To much temptation there...

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

I would feel guilty about it. My conscience wouldn't let me do it purposly like getting dressed for bed and actually planning it. If we were cuddling and fell asleep, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

 

[esseJ]

I gotta go with the "don't do it" crowd. I'd never do it, I'd hit the couch or the floor or something else.