Do You "Know" A Person Of Another Race?

Inkachu, I thought the map was cool. Posting a screenshot of my local demographics.

RDKirk said:

He's not wrong just because you happen to have black friends.

Recent public surveys bear him out. Demographically, it should not be suprising if most white people don't have non-white friends.

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That brings up the question about non-whites.

Do 'black people' (just as an example) have more 'non-black' friends than 'white people' have 'non-white' friends? Or 'Asians' (another misnomer by virtue of vagueness.) Or Native Americans?

I'll bet your 'recent public survey' shows most 'ethnic' people hang around with their own claimed ethnicity.

I had two really close 'black' friends working for the same organization for twenty-two years. They were not impressed with their own color or mine. I was also colleagues and friends with a number of Chinese ancestry people, a few of Philippino decent and one or two people who were born in Africa.

There were also some people of 'other' ethnic and genetic backgrounds (I'm of Celtic ancestry, by the way) who knew me and worked with me, but did not 'associate' with me as a friend. They preferred their own ethnic background people for friendship.

Archie the Preacher said:

That brings up the question about non-whites.

Do 'black people' (just as an example) have more 'non-black' friends than 'white people' have 'non-white' friends? Or 'Asians' (another misnomer by virtue of vagueness.) Or Native Americans?

I'll bet your 'recent public survey' shows most 'ethnic' people hang around with their own claimed ethnicity.

I had two really close 'black' friends working for the same organization for twenty-two years. They were not impressed with their own color or mine. I was also colleagues and friends with a number of Chinese ancestry people, a few of Philippino decent and one or two people who were born in Africa.

There were also some people of 'other' ethnic and genetic backgrounds (I'm of Celtic ancestry, by the way) who knew me and worked with me, but did not 'associate' with me as a friend. They preferred their own ethnic background people for friendship.

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You clearly don't understand my point or you wouldn't be taking it personally.

There aren't enough black people in the country for every white person to have one of us as a friend, so if some don't--even if a majority don't--that shouldn't be a surprise. That in itself says nothing bad about white people in general--it's just the numbers.

My wife and I in our previous town were the only blacks in a church congregation of about 150. Guess what: We were not friends with every one of them. Cordial, yes. But we were friends with those of our small group and a few others--and by "friends" I mean sharing intimate personal faults for prayer.

I used to have two black friends at church. At school I was friends (though not close) with someone ethnically Indian, and a (half?) black person. A friend and housemate was ethnically Pakistani. An ex-boyfriend was Mexican. (And other relationships between acquaintance and friend).

Perhaps I tend to gravitate towards people of my own race though.

Inkachu said:

You're still not showing how white people "aren't in proximity" to black people. Even in a town where blacks are a minority group, they're still "in proximity" to other people in the town. In schools, on the job, in stores, at churches. You make it sound as though there are whites-only towns that are all at least 100 miles from the nearest person of another race. The chances that a white person will have the same number of non-white acquaintances as they do white acquaintances, granted, is lower in many areas. But from what I've seen in my own experience, and from what we're hearing from people all over the country, and in fact, all over the world, in this thread, almost all of us have "proximity" to black people, or people of other races.

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There are towns that have only whites residing in them. And even if they're not all 100 miles away from the nearest black person, it's not just a matter of proximity but also whether they have any common factors that would bring them together as friends.

I guess that's where living in a large city and working in a government institution comes into the picture. There are people of all ethnicities all around me every single day. I don't think that any country - other than the very tiniest - is unrepresented in my work environment.

I live in the south central portion of this map.



Blacks mainly on the eastern and north eastern portion of the map, mostly white to the north and a good portion of asians in the north western section, that's the medical center of town.

Growing up if you wanted a friend you have to have a non-white friend, either that or have a very tiny group of friends.

First gf was mexican, best friend all through highschool was mexican and like a brother to me.

As an adult my best friend is white his wife who I consider like a sister is from india. Their little kids are precious, feeding them misinformation is one of the great pleasures of my life. I still live on the south side so no black friends, I've worked with plenty of blacks, went to college with some too. Never had an issue.

Inkachu said:

Dgiharris believes that most white people don't really know any black people, and our interactions are nothing more than perhaps a smile or brief greeting.

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He/she needs to get out more and/or travel. A LOT more.

PS the OP missed the "I'm friends with whoever I happen to meet and get along with regardless of demographics" option.

Inkachu said:

This thread stems from the "Farrakhan" thread over in News & Current Events. I hope he won't mind me mentioning him, but Dgiharris and I were discussing how many people have active, in-depth acquaintances with people of other races and ethnicities. Do we stick to our own color and culture by default? Do we simply say a passing "hello" to the people of another race in our workplaces, at church, etc? Dgiharris believes that most white people don't really know any black people, and our interactions are nothing more than perhaps a smile or brief greeting. I don't think that's true, but I'd like to know what fellow CFers think and have experienced themselves.

If people don't mind identifying their own race in their replies, that would be appreciated

Please keep replies civil. Anyone flaming or purposefully being rude, negative, or derogatory will be reported.

The poll is multi-choice, so choose as many answers as apply to you. It's also private, so no one can see your answers.

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I'm white. My brother-in-law is black, therefore my nephews and niece are regarded as society as "black" although technically they are multiracial. My cousin's wife is Japanese and their kids are multiracial also. So you see I have family members of several races, I would say I know them pretty well. I also live in a very diverse area. We have neighbors and friends from El Salvador, China, Africa, India, etc. as well as those who are actually Americans of various races (as opposed to immigrants). The day care provider who helped me raise my children for their early years is South Asian. Most of the kids at my kids' school (and therefore, their friends) are not white. I don't see that segregation in this area is even possible absent a lot of deliberate self-sorting due to wealth and occupation choice.

Inkachu said:

Ice cream tag, ftw!

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It seemed like the right thing to do!

Joykins said:

I'm white. My brother-in-law is black, therefore my nephews and niece are regarded as society as "black" although technically they are multiracial. My cousin's wife is Japanese and their kids are multiracial also. So you see I have family members of several races, I would say I know them pretty well. I also live in a very diverse area. We have neighbors and friends from El Salvador, China, Africa, India, etc. as well as those who are actually Americans of various races (as opposed to immigrants). The day care provider who helped me raise my children for their early years is South Asian. Most of the kids at my kids' school (and therefore, their friends) are not white. I don't see that segregation in this area is even possible absent a lot of deliberate self-sorting due to wealth and occupation choice.

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I wish I lived in a more ethnically diverse area for purely selfish reasons, food.

When people go to other countries they thankfully don't forget their recipes from home and sometimes they setup restaurants. MMmmmm

RDKirk said:

You clearly don't understand my point or you wouldn't be taking it personally.

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Your statement demonstrates you do not understand my point or the under currents of 'studies'. I'm taking nothing personal, I just don't trust many 'studies'.

RDKirk said:

There aren't enough black people in the country for every white person to have one of us as a friend...

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What? A black person cannot have more than one white friend? Or to reverse the thought, more than one white person cannot have a black friend who is also friends with other white people?

Are black people rationed that way? I never knew that..

RDKirk said:

My wife and I in our previous town were the only blacks in a church congregation of about 150.

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Ah. You are black. I didn't know that before.

RDKirk said:

Guess what: We were not friends with every one of them. Cordial, yes. But we were friends with those of our small group and a few others--and by "friends" I mean sharing intimate personal faults for prayer.

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From that I gather you did not feel the (pick one: need, desire, requirement, stimulus, hunger, or 'other') to seek out and befriend a certain number of 'white' friends?

Actually, I feel that altogether reasonable. I do not find any urgent in the Bible or any other source for you to do so. To be honest, I do not have a 'quota' of black friends to attain. Nor am I aware of any authority (that I recognize; think 'political correctness') demanding I do.

However, if I meet anyone - my own ethnicity or not - I befriend them on the grounds of common interests in various fields. Probably much the same as you.

Also. You will note in my posting I was talking about people in general. Not just 'black' people, but other non-white ethnicities as well. American Native, Chinese, Vietnamese, Afghanis, the odd Magyar...

Studies. I've examined too many studies conducted to verify pre-concieved conclusions. I don't doubt such a study as the one cited took place, but I'd like to know more about it. Such as, who sponsored the study and what was the purpose? Who conducted the study and how were they connected to the sponsor? How many questions were in the study? How were the questions worded? Were any other methods to obtain information other than questionnaires? If so, how were they evaluated?

RD, one could perform a study of just about anyone and prove left-handed people throw up more. Just select the questions and answers carefully and pick the participants carefully. Then correct the answers based on unspoken cues from the participants observed by the proctors.

Just replying to the first question:
I live in Toronto, Canada; unless you specifically force yourself to stay within your kin you you can't help but make friends from other countries. I am from Europe, my girl is from Japan, very good looking girl that. My closest friend is a Priest from Chile. One business associate is from Jamaica the other from Iraq.

Archie the Preacher said:

Your statement demonstrates you do not understand my point or the under currents of 'studies'. I'm taking nothing personal, I just don't trust many 'studies'.

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You clearly took it personally because your response was a personal anecdote instead of a contradictory study.

What? A black person cannot have more than one white friend? Or to reverse the thought, more than one white person cannot have a black friend who is also friends with other white people?

Are black people rationed that way? I never knew that..

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Yes. There is a national raffle held every five years for black friendships. Tickets are available at participating KFCs and McDonalds. Many will enter, few will win.

The truth is, black people are not "evenly distributed" across the US. As late as at least the early 70s, there were towns in Oklahoma that actively discouraged blacks from moving there. Those had been called "sundown towns"--blacks could work there during the day, but were not permitted to be within the city limits after night fall.

It was rather strange when our high school had basketball games in those towns. The rules were strict: Take only the school bus--no private autos. Get out of the bus and go directly into the gym. After the game, go directly from the gym to the bus, get on the bus, get out of town.

I'm sure the rules are looser now, but the fact is that there were still no reasons for blacks to move to those towns. There was never significant industry--they mostly serviced the surrounding farms and ranches with small family businesses.

The same is true in much of Illinois. There are lots of small farm towns that blacks simply never moved in to. My daughter went for a year to Eureka college--President Reagan's alma mater. There were a small number of black students attending Eureka--but none live permanently in the local town.

Interestingly one white student there was a boy from rural Oklahoma--the first in his family to attend college. When my daughter told him that her father was from Oklahoma, he somehow decided that made her something like kin. After all, he told her, they had a one "mulatto" in his home town.

Ah. You are black. I didn't know that before. From that I gather you did not feel the (pick one: need, desire, requirement, stimulus, hunger, or 'other') to seek out and befriend a certain number of 'white' friends?

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I was in that cohort of black youngsters in the 60s that first experienced integration. Because I was a bookworm, a nerd, a geek even before those latter two terms were invented, I wound up often being "the first" and "the only" black kid in most venues.

Advanced courses in the 60s, computer science in the early 70s, later military intelligence. I was in military intelligence for 26 years, and in all that time I did not work with more than 10 total other black people in the field.

I suck mightily at sports (I ran track one year in high school--long distance, because those events ended after everyone had left the stadium so nobody saw me come in last). I've never successfully put a basketball through a hoop.

Now, that meant all my life have not had a lot of black friends in my natural environments. To have a black friend, I had to go outside my natural circle of interests and activities. That means that the white people around me also didn't have much opportunity to have black friends, and frankly, I just don't share every white person's common interests, so that wasn't their fault.

So my own life is such a study. I've been in and through towns where there were few or no blacks to be found. In Illinois, I constantly met white people from the small towns who had literally never known a black person by name until going to college or going to work in a larger city like Peoria or Bloomington or Champaign.

I've lived in suburbs where we were the only blacks....so if I wasn't their friend, they had no chance to have a black friend. That's my only point: A lot of white people in the US have not been around blacks to have befriended any, and it's not their fault.