Do you feel comfort from Isaiah 56?

[Jamdoc]

So I hear it from well meaning brothers and sisters that explain to single Christians who struggle with loneliness and FOMO regarding major life milestones such as marriage and having children, they'll quote Isaiah 56:

3 Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the Lord, speak, saying, The Lord hath utterly separated me from his people: neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree.
4 For thus saith the Lord unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant;
5 Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.

and these verses aren't to do with loneliness or missing out on a desire for a partner or for children in just taking joy in these things, they're about inheritance and "carrying on your name". Because a Eunuch could not inherit from their family (generally they were slaves/captives to begin with, so they were never going to be able to inherit property, and even if not, if they were "born a Eunuch", then because they could not have children they were not considered for inheritance), and being that they'd have no children, nobody would carry on their name.
God is offering hope for those 2 specifics, an inheritance in the restoration, and immortality so you wouldn't need offspring to carry on your name.
So I find no comfort in them, though people treat it as if the name itself is to bring you more joy than another person you love who you raise and teach and watch grow up. But a name can't love you, a name can't learn from you, you can't do activities with a name,, it's just a concept, vs a person. As for the inheritance factors, I never really particularly cared about those to begin with. My name I have no particular attachment to, it was kind of made up after my mother divorced my father while he was in prison, and he made threats to kidnap my sister and I after he got released. She divorced, we changed our names, and moved. Given my father, I attach no value to my birth name either. So whatever name the Lord wants to give me, is kind of whatever. I'm even used to bullying over my name, both my birth name and the replacement name, so I don't really care about names.

Before the knee-jerk reaction of "well you get Jesus!" it's not an either or. There are many people who are husbands/wives/parents who also get Jesus, it's not a mutually exclusive thing.

So I don't find comfort in these verses, do you when people try to reassure you with them?

 

[Joy.in.Grace]

Totally agree @Jamdoc
Not a good verse to give for a single person who is desiring for a spouse.

 

[Jamdoc]

Totally agree @Jamdoc
Not a good verse to give for a single person who is desiring for a spouse.

yeah I heard John Piper try to use these verses for comfort for a woman who was writing in regarding her loneliness and his response just felt so tone deaf.

 

[Joy.in.Grace]

yeah I heard John Piper try to use

yeah I heard John Piper try to use these verses for comfort for a woman who was writing in regarding her loneliness and his response just felt so tone deaf.

Really, I have to watch it to see his point. As a woman, I didn’t find comfort by reading the verses alone. Heading to YT now

 

[timewerx]

yeah I heard John Piper try to use these verses for comfort for a woman who was writing in regarding her loneliness and his response just felt so tone deaf.

It's kind of comforting because it shows that failing to get married isn't a sign of lack of favor from God.

I wouldn't regard marriage and children as "milestones" as a Christian. You don't know what is God's plans for your life. Many of the disciples of Jesus died single and Apostle Paul explained legitimate reasons how a spouse can become a huge hindrance to the cause (I suppose no matter the strength of your faith).

I'm a very keen observer of human struggles and I saw how married Christians let their marriage limit their faith. Some even told me in my face, there are things they can't do for Christ or the extent they can seek the truth due to the danger it poses to their families. Most married Christians I know have similar sentiments so I guess Apostle Paul is right about marriage. It's more a bad thing than a good thing for Christians.

I'm not condemning these Christians. It doesn't forfeit salvation to get married, have children, and no longer follow Christ when the road starts to require more faith. However, it might forfeit your salvation to start having pride in your marriage and children instead of being broken to the fact, you can't follow Christ all the way. When you begin to idolize your marriage and children. Sadly, it's not uncommon for many Christians to fall into that trap.

 

[Joy.in.Grace]

It's kind of comforting because it shows that failing to get married isn't a sign of lack of favor from God.

I wouldn't regard marriage and children as "milestones" as a Christian. You don't know what is God's plans for your life. Many of the disciples of Jesus died single and Apostle Paul explained legitimate reasons how a spouse can become a huge hindrance to the cause (I suppose no matter the strength of your faith).

I'm a very keen observer of human struggles and I saw how married Christians let their marriage limit their faith. Some even told me in my face, there are things they can't do for Christ or the extent they can seek the truth due to the danger it poses to their families. Most married Christians I know have similar sentiments so I guess Apostle Paul is right about marriage. It's more a bad thing than a good thing for Christians.

I'm not condemning these Christians. It doesn't forfeit salvation to get married, have children, and no longer follow Christ when the road starts to require more faith. However, it might forfeit your salvation to start having pride in your marriage and children instead of being broken to the fact, you can't follow Christ all the way. When you begin to idolize your marriage and children. Sadly, it's not uncommon for many Christians to fall into that trap.

@timewerx Sadly it is true but there is good news still — I have different experience. I’ve seen families leaving their home country along with their little ones to live in a difficult places for the sake of the Gospel.

 

[timewerx]

@timewerx Sadly it is true but there is good news still — I have different experience. I’ve seen families leaving their home country along with their little ones to live in a difficult places for the sake of the Gospel.

We don't have a different experience. I never said that all Christians will turn down Jesus for the sake of their families. I keep saying "some" or "most" but not all.

Because I have a relative with family who became a missionary in a remote area in South East Asia. Our pastor in a local church is a missionary in our country and came here with his family. I live in a poor country so they're not here on a leisure trip, the fact they don't like the hot and humid climate.

But the fact of the matter is that most Christians with families will not risk everything for the Lord nor would have "ears to hear" and not hear the Lord's call in the first place because they have put their families first.

Only few can overcome the pressures of raising a family in order to follow the Lord where it may lead.

Most Christians with families will say they are already where the Lord calls them, yet some of the I talked to told me there are things they wouldn't do for the Lord nor even things they wouldn't seek concerning the truth. They probably never heard the Lord. It's just their mind talking to them, telling them what they already know or desire deeply.

Some of them are close relatives, some are even members of this forum. I'm not judging them. I'm just telling the hard facts to those about to make those "hard decisions". Things are not what they seem. The things of the Spirit cannot be treated like a checklist or a milestone like you can control or manipulate it just like everything else in this world. You can't.

 

[bèlla]

Marriage isn’t a separate state from our mission. The call includes everything. Some enter ministry before they marry or have families and some undertake their work in varying seasons within the union. God doesn’t call everyone to be missionaries or to uproot themselves or something dangerous. Most of the work happens where we are and expands as we mature.

There is no conflict between raising a family and serving the Lord. Marriage and family were ordained by God and we honor Him in our condition whether we like it or not.

~bella

 

[Jamdoc]

The treatment of it being "either or" is I think an insultingly false dichotomy because a lot of Christians have both/and.

besides.
in my case, not having a spouse isn't making it any more possible to go be a missionary as if I had one, as I'm physically disabled and, consequently, poor. I neither have the physical capability, nor resources to do that kind of work anyway, and being in that condition, I have nothing to offer a spouse, so, I gave up quite some time ago.
So I am just lonely, and that's just how it is, and how it's gonna be.

 

[timewerx]

The treatment of it being "either or" is I think an insultingly false dichotomy because a lot of Christians have both/and.

besides.
in my case, not having a spouse isn't making it any more possible to go be a missionary as if I had one, as I'm physically disabled and, consequently, poor. I neither have the physical capability, nor resources to do that kind of work anyway, and being in that condition, I have nothing to offer a spouse, so, I gave up quite some time ago.
So I am just lonely, and that's just how it is, and how it's gonna be.

It's okay if you can't do missions. It's a gamble really and you're really not better off than other Christians if you have done missions.

Incredible rewards await you if actually led people to Christ. But here's the dreaded thing no one will ever ask, what if you unknowingly spread a false teaching and led people to damnation?

Greater punishment awaits those who spread false teachings even if they did it unknowingly and never knew the doctrine they knew is a false teaching. I suppose we choose things according to what is in our heart.

I really don't recommend jumping into missions without careful examination of one's doctrine but if you have to, I don't recommend telling people that they know is already guaranteed never to be false. It's the perfect example of letting one's guard down and telling others to take it easy instead of standing guard over one's heart and mind.

Always question what you already know.

So I am just lonely, and that's just how it is, and how it's gonna be.

We are the same unfortunately. I also have disability but in the head which makes it extremely difficult for me to focus or have energy on things I have little to no interest in addition to trauma and I'm also poor as a result, I don't even have sufficient food to eat so I ration what I eat. I'm underweight as a result. I can't even afford medication so I have to make things up with exercise. If I don't exercise for a week, I rapidly weaken and can get sick but could be the result of malnutrition.

I also have to take care of PWD mom. I have a job but it's not doing well because of my issues always getting in the way. I get suicidal at times because I'm losing the strength to endure. I never give up on prayers though. A contradictory statement I know yet sometimes it has crossed my mind for reasons that elude me might the very thing the Lord wants me to do as I haven't found anything in the scriptures against it.

Curiously, the Lord continues to guide me on matters of the Spirit but not matters where I thought I'm desperate to resolve like having enough food and having enough to make bills. I'm not sure exactly why. I'll leave it up to the Lord.

Anyway, I think I know what you're going through for better or for worse. And I don't think the Lord is punishing us both. It's only a possibility but not a guaranteed reason. It also doesn't mean the Lord's favor is not upon us. The Lord could even be preserving us for something no matter how extremely unpleasant things can be.

 

[bèlla]

The treatment of it being "either or" is I think an insultingly false dichotomy because a lot of Christians have both/and.

Lois Evans wrote an excellent book whose message remained with me for years. Seasons of a Woman’s Life is a great depiction of the continuum we all experience. There are things I couldn’t do in my twenties because of my work and responsibilities which no longer applied in my thirties. When I returned to church most of the people serving were older or in similar seasons. I was usually the youngest because I was home and unmarried. My single peers were working and dividing their time much like couples. The notion that singles are doing more for the Lord is rarely true. Most of the service done in the church collectively is by married couples or widows. That may differ elsewhere but it’s usually so in America.

in my case, not having a spouse isn't making it any more possible to go be a missionary as if I had one, as I'm physically disabled and, consequently, poor.

You live in an age where disability is no longer an impediment to financial sustenance. Use the resources at your disposal. That‘s why YouTube and podcasts exist. Ask the Lord to give you a topic you can speak on to minister to others. If you know how to write substack is an option too. You don’t need fancy equipment. A phone and mic will suffice.

I neither have the physical capability, nor resources to do that kind of work anyway, and being in that condition, I have nothing to offer a spouse, so, I gave up quite some time ago.
So I am just lonely, and that's just how it is, and how it's gonna be.

Causation isn’t correlation and I’m uncertain why you’ve determined your condition precludes marriage when we’ve seen otherwise in the church. It would appear that you’ve determined what others require in kind from a spouse. You may have qualities others lack that are equally important and more likely to see the person in their entirety than not. The common denominator I’ve witnessed in circumstances like yours where marriage occurred is faith and attitude. Their persistence is a magnet that draws people in and a source of encouragement. Christians marry at every age and unless you’ve been given a word on the subject I wouldn’t close the door unless He does. His timing is infinite.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

You live in an age where disability is no longer an impediment to financial sustenance. Use the resources at your disposal. That‘s why YouTube and podcasts exist. Ask the Lord to give you a topic you can speak on to minister to others. If you know how to write substack is an option too. You don’t need fancy equipment. A phone and mic will suffice.

I've been considering this for a some time now because my current job is really not cutting it.

I have a content in youtube about a subtopic in flight simulation. Not a very popular topic to begin with and still needed hundreds more subscribers to monetize. It's been running for over 10 years now so I don't think it's going to make the minimum in the next few months or even the next few years.

Planning to make another one mainly about skating, health/fitness, skating as main form of exercise for keeping in shape, a little bit about diet, and a tiny bit about food and food hacks. Mostly instructional in nature.

I really don't know if it's even going to work. Ideally to make sustainable income out of. But I am doing to do it regardless of the potential success or failure it maybe. A few people do want me post instructional videos on skating But that's the problem, they're only few! I really don't know how to make the min subscribers as having only few friends. Skating is not a popular sport. General health/fitness maybe popular and trending but nobody wants to watch guys unless they are world-class pro athletes and there's only quite few things I can make as snack or food or for food hacks. I may also post some random stuff but nothing too specific or specialized.

I also have reservations about the food segment because usually, it helps encourage idolatry of food/gluttony. I hope I can make money out of it, but I also don't want to end up becoming a false teacher. Although some of my food hacks can save some money, not much though. Other places I can reach out is reddit but not much else.

I'm hoping this does not derail the topic but hope it help the OP in some ways anything to feel less lonely.

 

[Jamdoc]

No I definitely don't have the chops to be a youtuber. Nobody wants to see my ugly mug, or hear me, and I have no knowhow or skill to edit or make graphical art to do something that way.

 

[peaceful-forest]

One of the problems I have noticed with Christianity since I've been saved is that at times, we have inappropriate responses to people that are hurting or need advice (I am also guilty of doing this in the past).

We need to quit taking Bible verses that are about one thing and making them about another.

I did not feel comfort from Isaiah 56:3-5 as a single. It was related to salvation regarding the foreigner and the eunuch. Very inappropriate response to hurting singles.

 

[bèlla]

No I definitely don't have the chops to be a youtuber. Nobody wants to see my ugly mug, or hear me, and I have no knowhow or skill to edit or make graphical art to do something that way.

You most certainly have the chops to share your thoughts and you’re forgetting I’ve read them for quite some time. ;-)

You don’t have to be on camera. I watch a christian guy from time to time who doesn’t know how to edit. He turns the camera on and records his message and uploads it. He’s been on youtube for several years. I think the latter is best for meaty conversations. Tik-Tok and Instagram have the same but they attract a different demographic.

~bella

 

[bèlla]

Planning to make another one mainly about skating, health/fitness, skating as main form of exercise for keeping in shape, a little bit about diet, and a tiny bit about food and food hacks. Mostly instructional in nature.

Wellness has a larger draw and be careful about medical claims. They’re pretty strict on that. Given your mindset something along the lines of frugal fitness would address your approach and attract others seeking healthy tips and recipes along those lines. There’s a growing demand for that because of the economy and you should do well.

I also have reservations about the food segment because usually, it helps encourage idolatry of food/gluttony. I hope I can make money out of it, but I also don't want to end up becoming a false teacher. Although some of my food hacks can save some money, not much though. Other places I can reach out is reddit but not much else.

I'm hoping this does not derail the topic but hope it help the OP in some ways anything to feel less lonely.

I think it sounds promising and it’s on brand for the climate which bodes well on your behalf. Most food content isn’t gluttonous save the ones stuffing themselves to oblivion. I had the misfortune of seeing them during an Asian cooking challenge and pray it‘s the last time.

I wouldn’t bother with reddit. They’ll discuss you anyway if they like the content. You could chop the video up and have your segment for Tik-Tok and the shorts. Create a freebie with 10 frugal healthy tips they can grab by sharing an email. Several companies offer the service for free. The list allows you to connect with your followers outside of the platform. That may come in handy later on. Don’t neglect it.

I really like the idea. Keep me posted on your progress. ;-)

~bella

 

[Jamdoc]

One of the problems I have noticed with Christianity since I've been saved is that at times, we have inappropriate responses to people that are hurting or need advice (I am also guilty of doing this in the past).

We need to quit taking Bible verses that are about one thing and making them about another.

I did not feel comfort from Isaiah 56:3-5 as a single. It was related to salvation regarding the foreigner and the eunuch. Very inappropriate response to hurting singles.

yeah, I agree, it's badly misused because people have to understand the context.

Like I said, the John Piper podcast was what inspired me to make the thread because John Piper used these verses for a hurting single, it seemed so tone deaf, and yet he was convicted that "a name" really could be better than sons and daughters in ALL contexts.. not just the context in which it was written.

Like.. okay, when not used for the context of trying to reassure someone who is single and suffering, but used in the context of say.. my poverty from being disabled, there is comfort, I don't fret about having an inheritance, and I don't fret about "nobody to carry on my name" I know a lot of people do fret about those things and I don't. Because these are direct promises from God, I know these things are guaranteed.
I'll have a place to call home, and God will give me a new name, that's promised twice actually, Isaiah 56, and Revelation 2. I don't get attached to my own personal name so much partially because it has already been legally changed and so it doesn't really mean anything like it's not a honored family name that I have to worry about existing past my generation, and because God will give me a new one anyway, and this one won't just be something made up to hide from a criminal, but it will mean something.

Okay, great,
But it doesn't solve the "alone in a crowd" feeling I get in public, in social gatherings, in Church, and even in family gatherings, and the best I can figure out is that that feeling stems from a lack of intimacy. Not sexual intimacy specifically mind you just interpersonal intimacy.
One of the things I get within any social group I've tried to be a part of, even online is:
"You talk too much"

Which yeah, doesn't really make you feel welcome or like you belong if you're just expected to shut up.

 

[timewerx]

Wellness has a larger draw and be careful about medical claims. They’re pretty strict on that. Given your mindset something along the lines of frugal fitness would address your approach and attract others seeking healthy tips and recipes along those lines. There’s a growing demand for that because of the economy and you should do well.

I won't be because I don't have any qualifications for it. It will be more about documenting what I do but not making any hard recommendations and lots of warnings for any issues that may arise.

I think it sounds promising and it’s on brand for the climate which bodes well on your behalf. Most food content isn’t gluttonous save the ones stuffing themselves to oblivion.

Where I live, the social media feeds are quite a lot about food and eating. They're not stuffing themselves to oblivion, far from it but a large portion of their feeds is about food and dining in restaurants. You can almost tell food abounds in their hearts, no pun intended.

I don't wish to fuel their idolatrous desires. So maybe, I'll add food/snack content for last as desperate measure under tons of caution.

I wouldn’t bother with reddit. They’ll discuss you anyway if they like the content. You could chop the video up and have your segment for Tik-Tok and the shorts. Create a freebie with 10 frugal healthy tips they can grab by sharing an email. Several companies offer the service for free. The list allows you to connect with your followers outside of the platform. That may come in handy later on. Don’t neglect it.

I really like the idea. Keep me posted on your progress. ;-)

Thanks for these great advice. The requirements to get paid via ads is rather overwhelming though.

I don't mind makings lots of videos if I have to. I actually think that's the easiest part. The hardest part is making those videos gets lots of views.

 

[bèlla]

I won't be because I don't have any qualifications for it. It will be more about documenting what I do but not making any hard recommendations and lots of warnings for any issues that may arise.

They don’t want people saying X will work for you or remove Y condition even if it’s so. Health is many layered and what works for one person may be less effective for the next. Directing those comments to yourself without claims is best.

Where I live, the social media feeds are quite a lot about food and eating. They're not stuffing themselves to oblivion, far from it but a large portion of their feeds is about food and dining in restaurants. You can almost tell food abounds in their hearts, no pun intended.

Is food a big part of your culture?

I don't wish to fuel their idolatrous desires. So maybe, I'll add food/snack content for last as desperate measure under tons of caution.

If you use the hashtags I suggested it will go where it‘s meant. Frugal is the term you want to pair with others. Frugal food, frugal meals, wellness, frugal health, etc. Use the term in the channel name if you can and description.

Thanks for these great advice. The requirements to get paid via ads is rather overwhelming though.

I don't mind makings lots of videos if I have to. I actually think that's the easiest part. The hardest part is making those videos gets lots of views.

Put the shorts on til-tok to drive traffic to your channel for the full video. Volume helps a lot in the beginning. You may get traction on twitter. Especially for your skating content.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

Is food a big part of your culture?

It's more like an obsession because people aren't only just obsessing over local dishes but foreign foods as well.

For a poor country, there are many who are overweight and sick with cardiovascular disease, diabetes. Usually diseases associated with overconsumption of food.

Even if it's culture, as a Christian country, our Christianity should take priority over culture especially if in conflict with Christian teachings.

We can enjoy food and eating but it shouldn't become something you crave all the time or to look forward to more than the Lord. People will say one thing but ironically the content of their feeds roughly tells what's in their heart.

Put the shorts on til-tok to drive traffic to your channel for the full video. Volume helps a lot in the beginning. You may get traction on twitter. Especially for your skating content.

Thanks for the valuable advice as always. I'll do my best to remain honest when promoting my content. I don't like misleading people with sensational titles and thumbnails unless the topic is actually incredibly important to the subject matter. so I'll keep the titles as honest as possible

I'm very annoyed myself when I see these clickbaits which now seem to consist most of high view rate contents (does anyone still make honest good money these days??). I block these channels immediately when I see them even if the topic is very important to me, I'll just look elsewhere. I hope everyone else will eventually follow suit. There should be consequences for people who deceive other people for profit. It can't go on forever. It's bad for the soul.