Do you ever get tired...

[KarrieTex]

Yeah but D...you know that isn't always a comfort.

There is a point when it needs to become tangible, that we need to see Him moving or it starts to crumble.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Yeah but D...you know that isn't always a comfort.

There is a point when it needs to become tangible, that we need to see Him moving or it starts to crumble.

Oh believe me - I totally understand and God and I had a little talk about that the other night...well, I think I did all the talking

I just know that for me - I have to remind myself of His promises and His truth...some days I remind myself every hour and other times I can go weeks without even thinking about it or feeling frustrated by it...but don't get me wrong Karrie - I totally understand what you are saying and why you feel the way you feel cause I feel that way often times too...but I'm trying to discipline myself better to stop that line of thinking before it sends me into a tailspin (doesn't always work but I'm trying )...

 

[ido]

Oh believe me - I totally understand and God and I had a little talk about that the other night...well, I think I did all the talking

So...if you tend to go on like I do on occasion, then maybe God is thinking, "I wonder when she's going to shut up and LISTEN for a change?"....

 

[KarrieTex]

Oh believe me - I totally understand and God and I had a little talk about that the other night...well, I think I did all the talking

I just know that for me - I have to remind myself of His promises and His truth...some days I remind myself every hour and other times I can go weeks without even thinking about it or feeling frustrated by it...but don't get me wrong Karrie - I totally understand what you are saying and why you feel the way you feel cause I feel that way often times too...but I'm trying to discipline myself better to stop that line of thinking before it sends me into a tailspin (doesn't always work but I'm trying )...

Sometimes it's not enough

 

[dluvs2trvl]

So...if you tend to go on like I do on occasion, then maybe God is thinking, "I wonder when she's going to shut up and LISTEN for a change?"....

Good point!

Sometimes it's not enough

 

[jcj3803]

Or like we did when playing hide 'n seek: allee allee oxen free (or whatever it is we said )

Your mom's with me and she's going swimming with a couple cement blocks if you don't come out.

Oh sorry, that's the traditional Chicago way...

 

[ido]

Your mom's with me and she's going swimming with a couple cement blocks if you don't come out.

Oh sorry, that's the traditional Chicago way...

 

[joanna1]

D... I think we go through cycles...
But since I'm at the top of the happyness curb right this second (well you know, as far as the lack of unhappiness can go when you're single), I'll post quick before I fall back into depression


You know JUST how near suicidal I felt about my singleness if you remember how I was a year or so ago. Anyway I decided to read every possible book on the subject, and listen quite avidly to all the advice older women had to give. (so I could somehow "accelarate" my process of getting to the bit where your husband descends from the clouds )
One of those older women was Pea - and she said something that made me outright angry at first but also made me realise she'd reached a "level of godliness" I was nowhere near - she said her failed relationship in her early thirties had dispelled the myth there was someone for everyone, and that she'd had to learn to love God an have faith, even in the event of circumstances NOT turning out right in the end.

And I worked hard on myself to get to that point. The point where you tell God "not my will but yours", sincerely. The point where you say "if you don't want me to be married, that's ok".
I think the "releasing to God" bit is essential. It's so difficult to get there, nearly unhuman. I went through a nervous breakdown, had to take time off work for depression (two days, I'm speedy like that, but I know you're as well) To me, there was simply NOTHING in the world that appeared worse than not marrying. I'd take illness, bereavement, anything over singleness, and no I'm not saying this lightly. It was the death of my biggest, one and only ever, dream.

Well needless to say I couldn't reach the stage where my heart was at peace with saying those words, I tried many times but I never felt sincere.
So one day, amongst floods of tears, I just told God "I'm so unhappy I want to die. I know it's not your will. I know you have something better for me. I know what you want is for me to surrender my dream, but I never feel sincere when I say it. I can't change my heart on my own and you don't seem to want to. So the only thing I can to is to say the words in faith - I'll say the words even if my heart is screaming the opposite, it's the only thing I can do" So I did, and it definately was a strong experience and brought me closer to God.
It was the beginning of my "feeling better" curb.

And guess what, Pea's got a boyfriend now It "worked" for her.....so there's actually hope things might go the way you wish after all

*apologizes for long post*

ETA: *apologizes again because didn't realize was in mature singles forum*

 

[ido]

Awesome post, joanna. I don't think you need to apologize at all! I think it's so important for all of us - male and female - to know that we can and should take our brokenness to God and lay it at His feet so that we can begin to heal. It is in healing that we can begin to live again. I think the key is to not get "stuck". When we are stuck, we are not able to move forward and it can severely limit our ability to be able to see what might be right before us - just ahead on the path.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

So one day, amongst floods of tears, I just told God "I'm so unhappy I want to die. I know it's not your will. I know you have something better for me. I know what you want is for me to surrender my dream, but I never feel sincere when I say it. I can't change my heart on my own and you don't seem to want to. So the only thing I can to is to say the words in faith - I'll say the words even if my heart is screaming the opposite, it's the only thing I can do" So I did, and it definately was a strong experience and brought me closer to God.
It was the beginning of my "feeling better" curb.

Sounds like my talk with God the other night that I mentioned earlier...

Like flnativegrl said, don't apologize for posting I appreciated the post...