I think everyone that is still single after the age of 30 has to occasionally have that moment where discouragement and doubt creep in and tells you that "you are never going to get married," or "you are never going to have a family," "your not married because nobody wants you," things like that. Do you think that could be the devil that's taunting us by planting that seed of doubt and discouragement in our minds so we will just give up and maybe lead the life that we weren't meant to lead? Or do you think it's just our own insecurities playing against our hopes?
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Do you ever feel like the devil taunts you?
- Thread starter cowboysfan1970
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
I think it's a combination of both. I think it is our insecurities that make u vulnerable and I think that the devil takes advantage of that and plays on those insecurities. He wants us to be defeated and discouraged and if he can keep us in that place by building on our insecurities then that makes him happy.
It can be difficult road to walk...being an older single...but I know that there are people out there who found the love of their life after the age of 30, 35, 40, 45 and on up! If it is a deep desire of your heart then keep praying about it and don't give up hope no matter how hopeless it seems. And when those negative thoughts come into your head combat them with the truth...God's truth! That He loves you and He has a plan for you and that He gives good gifts and knows the deepest desire of your heat and that He wants good things for you
It can be difficult road to walk...being an older single...but I know that there are people out there who found the love of their life after the age of 30, 35, 40, 45 and on up! If it is a deep desire of your heart then keep praying about it and don't give up hope no matter how hopeless it seems. And when those negative thoughts come into your head combat them with the truth...God's truth! That He loves you and He has a plan for you and that He gives good gifts and knows the deepest desire of your heat and that He wants good things for you
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eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
I'm voting for the combination also. I did get married and have kids, but I separated over 10 years ago and have been quite ready for a Christian marriage for the last 5 years.
I am learning a lot about what qualities I should be looking for in a Christian husband, but honestly those qualities were present in my first post-divorce bf and if we had gotten married I wouldn't have had to go through these not so stellar relationships. Maybe we were not a good fit, but I'm still trying to figure out why God hasn't made this happen yet since it is a good thing that I'm asking for and I think it's best that I'm married.... soon, to the right person. I'm hoping I don't need to wait like Sarah and Abraham.
I am learning a lot about what qualities I should be looking for in a Christian husband, but honestly those qualities were present in my first post-divorce bf and if we had gotten married I wouldn't have had to go through these not so stellar relationships. Maybe we were not a good fit, but I'm still trying to figure out why God hasn't made this happen yet since it is a good thing that I'm asking for and I think it's best that I'm married.... soon, to the right person. I'm hoping I don't need to wait like Sarah and Abraham.
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J
Jenster
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I think the world is certainly discouraging and encourages us to measure ourselves by non-Godly standards. When we don't "measure up" we feel like losers. So whether it's the devil actively taunting you or the sin-filled world having its negative effects, the results are the same.
But we can always have hope in the Lord. He can do ANYTHING. And He wants the best for us -- His good and perfect will. When Satan tries to bring me down, I try to put my trust in the Lord and pray that His good and perfect will would be done in my life. His will is something worth living for! It brings life, not discouragement. Satan and the ways of the world bring anxiety, discontent, dissatisfaction and fear.
For faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we cannot see. -- Heb. 11:1
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control. 2 Tim. 1:7
But we can always have hope in the Lord. He can do ANYTHING. And He wants the best for us -- His good and perfect will. When Satan tries to bring me down, I try to put my trust in the Lord and pray that His good and perfect will would be done in my life. His will is something worth living for! It brings life, not discouragement. Satan and the ways of the world bring anxiety, discontent, dissatisfaction and fear.
For faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we cannot see. -- Heb. 11:1
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control. 2 Tim. 1:7
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HoosierCanuck
Senior Contributor
Definitely the Devil doing his best to taunt us...he's the CAUSE of insecurities as well. Any feeling, thought, etc... that is negative is NOT of God and therefore is of the Devil in my opinion. I 'feel' insecure alot of times...especially as far as the opposite sex is concerned. I've often 'assumed' that 'nobody wants me' and unfortunately lived a life that would make that self-fulfilling prophecy come true. It's my prayer not only for myself but all of us here at CF that we stomp the devil and his pathetic thoughts, become the peeps God wants us to be and live a life full of love and abundance....in any form that is His will.
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Actually the devil doesn't do anything to you. It's called your brain which produces all kinds of hormones and emotions which are not influenced by supernatural beings. People just like to put the blame on other, your not in the wrong.
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dayhiker
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I'm with those that think it is a combination of both. But I guess we could add trying to live up to others expectations as well and letting it bother us if we don't.
Personally after a 26 yr marriage and now being divorced for 4 yrs. I'm not looking for marriage. A long term GF is all I'm interested in.
Personally after a 26 yr marriage and now being divorced for 4 yrs. I'm not looking for marriage. A long term GF is all I'm interested in.
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N
NHisMageCG
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I agree with others that it is a combination of both. The worse times for me are actually when I'm in church and see all of the happy families sitting together and then going home together and I have to go home alone. Satan knows the right buttons to push, but I think that the thoughts are already there anyway.
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dayhiker
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Is there a singles group in your church? Have you asked someone else who doesn't have a family to get together? Once I got divorced I was surprized how many single people are around.
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peacechild4
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Yes the devil does taunt me over my singleness.. but it is getting less.. thankfully.. when I rested my hopes on my marriage or husband I have always struggled but the devil can only get to me when I focus on the bad.. but when you accept what is now.. and enjoy what you got.. it helps so much.. when you count your blessings not your losses the devil does not have a hope of getting me down..
I am tempted though to focus on what my husband is doing or with whom.. as I see him less and less.. but really those thoughts only lead me to depression..
I am so thankful the LORD never leaves me and I can look to HIM always.. and when the temptations arise I just meditate on what GOD has said... who I am in CHRIST and on my good future..
I am tempted though to focus on what my husband is doing or with whom.. as I see him less and less.. but really those thoughts only lead me to depression..
I am so thankful the LORD never leaves me and I can look to HIM always.. and when the temptations arise I just meditate on what GOD has said... who I am in CHRIST and on my good future..
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NHisMageCG
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No. There used to be a singles group but almost all of the single around my age have married/remarried. Even before that, I stopped going because most of the singles were more interested in "hooking up" with someone than in ministry. The younger singles do things together but I have found that I don't have much in common with singles 15+ years younger than me.
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dayhiker
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Ya, I was quite surprised as I got older that my interests were so different than younger people. I actually think "hooking up" is a ministry. I hear so many singles that are lonely and complaining about not being able to meet a Christian. Where better to meet and hook up than a singles ministry at church. I do agree that a ministry would also be nice. But one can always do that thru another venue.
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memoriesbymichelle
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Yeah and then the other issue with a singles group is what if you DO hook up? Then what happens to all the "single" friends you meet? Cuz the reason you became friends in the first place is cuz you're all single. I already had that happen when my husband died. It's hard to be around married peeps sometimes because you feel like the odd man out. My friends are really good about it, but still...they all go out as couples and I don't have my other half anymore. So I was reluctant to get into a singles group for that reason.
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i reckon its both
i know i'm going through a bad patch at the moment that i dont know what to do with
being single you get used to but you always have a bit of hope maybe that will change one day but then you get near 40 and all your dreams seem to start dying. i find myself there and not coping
most days wake up depressed
but make myself get up because i've got less days ahead of me than behind
all my cousins and siblings are either married and in relationships, the majority had their first child all in the last year all at a similar time perhaps which is why i feel like this a year ago there were still some single and most had no children and now i am the only one left on my own
a friend got married too who had been single for quite a long time
i look at the next few years and wonder how i will survive emotionally
i feel very stuck
i talked to one lady at church and she said she felt pity for me
i dont need pity
i dont know how to deal with this
i know i'm going through a bad patch at the moment that i dont know what to do with
being single you get used to but you always have a bit of hope maybe that will change one day but then you get near 40 and all your dreams seem to start dying. i find myself there and not coping
most days wake up depressed
but make myself get up because i've got less days ahead of me than behind
all my cousins and siblings are either married and in relationships, the majority had their first child all in the last year all at a similar time perhaps which is why i feel like this a year ago there were still some single and most had no children and now i am the only one left on my own
a friend got married too who had been single for quite a long time
i look at the next few years and wonder how i will survive emotionally
i feel very stuck
i talked to one lady at church and she said she felt pity for me
i dont need pity
i dont know how to deal with this
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scraparcs
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I hear you. I think my newest resolution this year is going to be to move on with my other life goals and not worry about waiting for a partner and children.
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I wouldn't attribute that to the devil. That is just life.
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mjmcmillan
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It could be a little of both. Certainly the Devil will try to tell us how worthless we are and so on and so on, but he's not above letting our own insecurities do his dirty work for him. If the Devil ever stops taunting you, start worrying. He taunts people who are a threat to his kingdom.
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dayhiker
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Hi foundinGrace,
That is a tough place to be in. Its so easy for us to see those around us getting on with life, especially when its a way that would be meaningful to us and feel like we aren't with it etc.
But we have to remember that no everyone gets to experience all things at the same time. So get one doing what you do enjoy with life and let the relationship thing take 2nd place for a bit. I found if I kept going forward and looking forward to life's next experience I didn't have so many peoblems with what happened in the past.
dayhiker
That is a tough place to be in. Its so easy for us to see those around us getting on with life, especially when its a way that would be meaningful to us and feel like we aren't with it etc.
But we have to remember that no everyone gets to experience all things at the same time. So get one doing what you do enjoy with life and let the relationship thing take 2nd place for a bit. I found if I kept going forward and looking forward to life's next experience I didn't have so many peoblems with what happened in the past.
dayhiker
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