Do you date?

[HisW0rd]

Hi!
I never really desired a husband, I thought I did, but after realizing that I was being influenced by men, family, and friends about marriage/dating, I finally accepted who I am. I am happy!

Just out of curiosity, have you lost the desire to date?

 

[rhondalee]

i am a single mom of two little girls...and yes, I have completely lost the desire to date. Ive even made plans a few times when asked out, but in the end, couldnt bring myself to go. I just dont have the energy really. And me and my girls have our own routine and way of doing things, and i honestly dont want anyone to come in and try to change that =) I figure ill date when my kids are grown and have more of their own lives

 

[HisW0rd]

Good mom

 

[BRISH]

I use to say the exact same thing as the OP and that first response, but I dated "for real" again for the first time this past summer. That was the first time since I had dated the man that would later become my husband (1998-1999). (Now divorced of course.)


Seperated in '05. Divorced in '07. Dated again in 2012. (7 years between relationships) So yeah, I definitely took some time to evaluate my situation, my past, and my life before deciding to actually dive into the dating scene. I had a ton of pressure to date again soon after but I just didn't have the mental nor physical strength to work on something other than taking care of myself and my kids. My kids were both in diapers at the time,

....but now they're older. It allows me to have a more open schedule. Before this summer, I thought it would be nice to have someone around but I wasn't looking for it. I had thought that maybe I wouldn't be seriously dating again till the kids were much much older. I've had several opportunities open up over the years, but something always kept me back. I'm one of those that think "when in doubt, dont". It's just how I do.

Through dating again, I've learned a lot about myself and about my hang ups ......and it's been so freeing and burden lifting. (For me at least.) You can date even though you have children at home. For me, I'm not going to introduce the kids to someone unless I think there's a future with that person. Even then, it's going to be subtle introductions for a while. I don't agree with bringing your kids into the picture with every person you date, and it's possible to follow through on this. It's not a problem for me so far.

It's all about if you're ready or not not. Go with how you feel right now because it's exactly what you can handle.

 

[faithink607]

No way, I use to say that I wont until my kids are grown, but now that I have had all this time with my kids and enjoying my life with them, without thinking that there is something missing, I think I would rather stay single. I have been a single mom for 6 years and had dated twice 3 years ago. One man was the son of a pastor and said he was christian as well, but after our first time out he kept asking if we were going to get together, and said he was only willing to wait for sex for two weeks. found out later that he took random women home all the time. Second one said he was clean and a christian. later would find out he was an alcoholic and drug user. Sooooo I think Im good being singe, I don't want that kind of influence around my kids, they deserve better than that.

 

[Bellaoftheball]

I have not dated since my divorce 2 years ago.

 

[OliviaD1230]

I have only been a single mom for around 6 months, but I have no intentions of dating. I am happy where I am in my life right now, aside from a few challenges. I don't feel the need or desire to have a man in my life. I would of course be open to it if God brought someone in to my life, but I don't feel like there is anything missing from my life by not having a significant other. Some help with my daughter would be nice sometimes, a partner, but I'm okay without it.

 

[JonasZ]

Just out of curiosity, have you lost the desire to date?

There was a girl up at the church. We never really dated, she was more like a sister. Actually it was her idea, she would do things for me, like sowing repairs on the clothing. Then I would help her out like cutting firewood for her fireplace and stuff like that. Later on she got back with a guy that she had a romantic relationship with. The father of one of her kids. She said she actually had a better relationship with me. She could not give up the other kind of relationship though. Some of the married people at the church were a little confused with us though. They did not really understand it. But the women use to let their husbands help her with stuff. Like putting a floor in her kitchen and fixing her car when it was broken. Although she did not like to ask if she did not have a way to pay them back.

 

[JonasZ]

I would of course be open to it if God brought someone in to my life,

Jesus and Paul both teach that it is better to remain single. If we can contain ourselves. If not then we can ask God to provide someone for us when He feels we are ready.

 

[JonasZ]

said he was only willing to wait for sex for two weeks.

I had a situation where the Pastor was trying to get my wife and I to separate and the assistant Pastor was waiting in the wings to ask her out on a date. In fact he asked her out while we were still together because he knew things were not working out between us. I was kinda hoping they would help us get together, not break us up. That pastor ended up getting a divorce 6 months later and he died from aids 6 months after that. I am still around though to tell people that: God hates divorce.

 

[foundthecure]

I'l date as soon as the right woman comes along
I'm looking.. I feel God has made me a family man and my family isn't complete with only one parent.

I know God has a wife for me.. but I'm just trying to be a good dad in the meantime.

 

[Inkachu]

I had accepted my life as a single mom, and I was prepared to live a full, active life and never feel sorry for myself. But it wasn't what I wanted. I never had the desire to date specifically, but I always had the desire for a husband.

 

[Lordshayne]

Would I like to date? Sure. Do I have the time? Without a doubt I do not have the time.

I would've a few years ago if not for a large mental scar I got from my first girlfriend, whom is now a result (in a positive way) of my current life.

 

[LiseyLis]

I have a 4 month old baby. I separated from my partner when I was 7 weeks pregnant (he was abusive). He's not involved, his decision. I have no desire to meet somebody new. My last relationship took it out of me. Why look for another man when I have the most perfect little man at home? Plus, I can't see me wanting to give up precious time with my son to get to know somebody new.

 

[Inkachu]

I have a 4 month old baby. I separated from my partner when I was 7 weeks pregnant (he was abusive). He's not involved, his decision. I have no desire to meet somebody new. My last relationship took it out of me. Why look for another man when I have the most perfect little man at home? Plus, I can't see me wanting to give up precious time with my son to get to know somebody new.

I was in an almost identical situation. You're very wise to focus on yourself and your child right now