Do you date people your age?

[Jenster]

OK, so this idea came off of the Singles' thread, the Age Gap Question.

Are you willing to date someone your own age? Why or why not?

It may sound like a dumb question, but from the number of people (esp. men) out there -- and here on CF -- who say they're looking for someone younger than they are, I'm wondering what gives.

I like men my age. They generally have experience in life, are interesting and have more maturity than the young guys.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Before I met my SO, I tried to avoid men my age (28-31) because they either were newly divorced (and not looking to seriously date anyone) or seperated and in the process of getting divorced.

Not that I have anything against divorced people, I just wouldn't want to date you while you are going through the process or freshly out of a marriage.

 

[mwb]

The girls that I find attractive at first glance are usually much younger than me. It's almost embarassing.

It's not easy but I am hoping to meet someone close to my age who has never been married or divorced due to circumstances beyond their control. Someone who is at the same "place" as me.

 

[Jenster]

Yeah, Beauty, that's a sticky situation, getting involved with someone coming out of a relationship. So your SO is around your age?

The girls that I find attractive at first glance are usually much younger than me. It's almost embarassing.

Well, thanks for being honest about it, mwb. I think we could all say the same thing, if we are equally honest.

Let's face it -- humans who are in their teens and 20s are at their peak of physical attractiveness. I hope I'm not offending anyone by saying that, but there's a reason why there's the phrase "the glow of youth." And a reason why models are in that age bracket. People are fresh-faced then, not to mention hormone driven!

Not saying that more mature people don't have a beauty all our own, but it is not the type of outright physical beauty that modern Western society promotes as attractive.

In choosing to date someone in this young age bracket, even though there's a big age gap, the question becomes: Is physical attraction one's main criteria? (I'll admit: When I was in my 20s, the answer was YES, it was a main criteria!)

 

[mwb]

Physical attraction will probably always be the first criteria when the person is a complete unknown that we see in public. When I see someone who is attractive, I often wonder if she has any substance.

But there are attractive people out there who never go out on dates because everyone assumes they are dating already. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that looks are not necessarily an indication of what's on the inside.

I'm always open to situations where someone I would not be attracted to at first glance actually turns out to be someone special.

 

[maxmerc]

As far as being physically attracted to someone younger, it's really just simple biology. Biology seeks to propagate the species, and younger people are, for obvious reasons, likely physical prospects. Really nothing to be embarassed about. Matter of fact, we really should try to not look down our noses at people we see that are our age, but with someone younger. They are just following biological impulses.

Sure, I'm attracted physically to women in their twenties. BUT. I am perfectly aware that we would have absolutely nothing to talk about. Two different generations. Talking to a 24-year old about Jimmy Carter, or the Vietnam War era, would draw a blank stare.

I would much rather be with someone my own age, or not far behind that, so that I would have someone to talk to. On the other hand, being a guy, I am very aware that I am visually-oriented.

Catch-22? I dunno. You tell me.

 

[Mark2010]

I would date people my age, or younger than me. Maybe even a few years older. It really just depends on the person, what they are like, where they are in life, etc.

 

[Irascible]

Hmm. If you'd just cut the last half of that question off it would be more appropriate.

But seriously, up until I was in my mid twenties or so I was always attracted to older women. Yeah, the young ones look nice... until they open their mouths. Most of those vacuous, pouting princesses drive me nuts.

 

[OhhJim]

But there are attractive people out there who never go out on dates because everyone assumes they are dating already.

Just curious, do you actually know people like this, and are you CERTAIN that's the reason? I ask because I've heard this before, but I don't personally know anyone that's true of. I know attractive people who don't date, but it's not because nobody asks, or because everyone assumes they are dating already. It's because they don't want to date, or are a pain in the neck, or they reject people who want to date them, or their standards are too high, etc. In my experience, attractive people get hit on, whether they are in relationships or not.

As for the OP, I usually date women my age or older. My last girlfriend was 12 years younger, which is very unusual for me, and I think it ruined me for younger women! Maybe if she was only 3 years younger.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

I like to date men the same age or a little older than me. In the past I have dated younger men and didn't really care for it.

I've gone through some changes that I feel are good and would like to be with someone is of like interests, etc and being in the same age bracket seems to help that.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Yeah, Beauty, that's a sticky situation, getting involved with someone coming out of a relationship. So your SO is around your age?

He's 29 and I'll be 32 at the end of the year.

 

[Jenster]

Oh okay, BforA! Thanks for sharing.

Just curious, do you actually know people like this, and are you CERTAIN that's the reason? I ask because I've heard this before, but I don't personally know anyone that's true of. ... In my experience, attractive people get hit on, whether they are in relationships or not.

I don't personally know of this situation either, but I can think of a few women I know who are very attractive, and they're not in a relationship.

One was in a bad relationship for awhile, so she's pretty cautious now. Another one does get asked out a lot, but she's looking for her soulmate, so she's pretty picky.

I mean, I think for everyone, whether very attractive or less so, we're all looking for that "someone special" so there's no sense being in a relationship if it's not going to be the right one, right?

I do think that some people are intimidated by very attractive people (I'm intimidated) -- thinking that "he or she is out of my league." So I'm sure some people don't even try to ask the cute guy or gal out on a date.

 

[country woman]

some times I have date guys that were 1 year younger and 5-6 years younger. I however like older guys but have not been able to find one.

 

[OhhJim]

I do think that some people are intimidated by very attractive people (I'm intimidated) -- thinking that "he or she is out of my league." So I'm sure some people don't even try to ask the cute guy or gal out on a date.

I'm sure some people are intimidated, absolutely. But I have to think that, overall, the odds of being asked out rise along with the physical attractiveness factor.

It makes me think of a paraphrase of an old Yogi Berra line: "Nobody goes there to eat-it's too crowded". Or, "Nobody asks her out-she's too busy dating".

 

[Deliberatetourist]

The girls that I find attractive at first glance are usually much younger than me. It's almost embarassing.

It's not easy but I am hoping to meet someone close to my age who has never been married or divorced due to circumstances beyond their control. Someone who is at the same "place" as me.

Yeah I know what you mean. I found myself a divorced 30 something longing for companionship on an intellectual level with someone my age, but on a superficial level with someone in their early to mid 20's. I moved to Asia - now its the best of both worlds!

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Well...I don't date but I will say that since I met a musician last year who is old enough to be my dad I have really noticed men in this generation. (for the record, the musician is unavailable! lol)

I guess I have the opposite problem as mwb...I notice men so *OLD* that it's embarassing. lol However, because I have always been around those older than me, I don't really think it would be too much of a problem with 'things to talk about' since I like a lot of the same things as my older counterparts and seem to have a lot of the same values and ideas on things.

Younger men seem to be players and dogs...not always but many that I see around here are anyway. Guys my age are either married, married only on paper or in jail. eek!!!! I sometimes think I'm more likely to find a Christian man who is older than me. Guys my age seem to care less about God. :-(

 

[mwb]

Maybe you can find a guy who remembers the last time the Cubs won the World Series.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Maybe you can find a guy who remembers the last time the Cubs won the World Series.

Not THAT old!!! lol Anna Nichole Smith didn't even have that kind of age gap going! lol

 

[GritsnGrace]

Well, I haven't dated lately, but I think I would prefer at least in the same decade! lol! No more than 10 years in either direction!

 

[Jenster]

I was at a conference recently and the woman who spoke revealed that her husband (of about 30 years) is actually 7 years younger than she is. We all thought, "You go, girl!"