Do We Have to Forgive? What if I don't want to?

[zoidar]

Jesus teaches us that we should forgive others just as God has forgiven us. If we don't forgive others while God has forgiven you, then you will be going against God's teaching.

So I was just wondering, do you think there are any situations or sins you feel like you can't forgive others for and don't have to? Would God be pleased or fine with you not wanting to forgive someone of their wrongs against you? Do you have to forgive as a Christian?

Here is an example among many.
I saw the court proceedings of the case of the US gymnastics girls who were sexually abused by the team doctor or the US program doctor. Years later it came out and went to court and they found him guilty and he was sentenced to like life or something. But in the court, each girl had a chance to read their hand written letter out loud to that doctor so he can hear everything they wanted to say to him. They were obviously hurt and traumatized and even though it happened many years ago, they were reliving it saying everything they wanted to say to him for their own closure or healing I guess.

But one thing I noticed was how all the girls except one of them didn't forgive him. They said they hope he lives out the rest of his life behind bars to think about what he did wrong and how he hurt them. One even said I will never forgive you.

When I heard that, I thought to myself, by not forgiving him, she's hurting herself. She's holding in the pain and it will eat at her all the days of her life until she can find it within herself to forgive him. So no matter how heinous the crime, do you think God still wants us to forgive our transgressors?

Is it wrong if we don't?


There is another case with Jeffrey Epstein and one of the victims said she was so upset and hurt when she found out Jeffrey took his own life while in prison waiting for the trial to begin. It was as if he escaped again and now he'll never be brought to justice and the girls (victims) described how it felt like he hurt them again by getting away before going to court. They lost their satisfaction of wanting to see him prosecuted and because they haven't forgiven him, and he's now dead, it's as if they are now left with the pain to bear in them forever. I thought to myself, all you have to do is forgive him to let him go and let yourself free from the pain. Instead by not forgiving him, and now never getting the chance to see him get prosecuted and brought to justice, they'll live with that pain even more.

I have a thought. We are not to condemn someone for what he/she has done. It comes from knowing the person did what he/she did because the person doesn't know Christ. So we are not to curse the evildoer but pray for the person. We are to have a forgiving attitude, but I think when Jesus talks about that we are to forgive everyone, he means those who ask us for forgiveness. If we are not willing to forgive the sin of those who ask us, then we ourself are guilty of sin.

But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
— Matthew 5:44

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
— Matthew 6:14-15

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
— Matthew 18:21-22

Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
— Luke 17:3-4

 

[Wyatt A.]

Jesus teaches us that we should forgive others just as God has forgiven us. If we don't forgive others while God has forgiven you, then you will be going against God's teaching.

So I was just wondering, do you think there are any situations or sins you feel like you can't forgive others for and don't have to? Would God be pleased or fine with you not wanting to forgive someone of their wrongs against you? Do you have to forgive as a Christian?

Here is an example among many.
I saw the court proceedings of the case of the US gymnastics girls who were sexually abused by the team doctor or the US program doctor. Years later it came out and went to court and they found him guilty and he was sentenced to like life or something. But in the court, each girl had a chance to read their hand written letter out loud to that doctor so he can hear everything they wanted to say to him. They were obviously hurt and traumatized and even though it happened many years ago, they were reliving it saying everything they wanted to say to him for their own closure or healing I guess.

But one thing I noticed was how all the girls except one of them didn't forgive him. They said they hope he lives out the rest of his life behind bars to think about what he did wrong and how he hurt them. One even said I will never forgive you.

When I heard that, I thought to myself, by not forgiving him, she's hurting herself. She's holding in the pain and it will eat at her all the days of her life until she can find it within herself to forgive him. So no matter how heinous the crime, do you think God still wants us to forgive our transgressors?

Is it wrong if we don't?


There is another case with Jeffrey Epstein and one of the victims said she was so upset and hurt when she found out Jeffrey took his own life while in prison waiting for the trial to begin. It was as if he escaped again and now he'll never be brought to justice and the girls (victims) described how it felt like he hurt them again by getting away before going to court. They lost their satisfaction of wanting to see him prosecuted and because they haven't forgiven him, and he's now dead, it's as if they are now left with the pain to bear in them forever. I thought to myself, all you have to do is forgive him to let him go and let yourself free from the pain. Instead by not forgiving him, and now never getting the chance to see him get prosecuted and brought to justice, they'll live with that pain even more.

When you don't forgive its actually bad for your health. Its like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
Its easy to forgive when you've been forgiven. It feels good and lets everything go that you don't have to hold on to.
Jesus was asking forgiveness for the soldiers who were nailing Him to the cross.

 

[timothyu]

Anyone living with someone who has the misfortune of having a mental illness are quick to learn forgiveness for can a person be held responsible for what a broken mind can convince them to do? Taking it a step further, none of us with a clear conscience, can condemn others not knowing if living in similar circumstances might have led us to act in the same way. We have a knowledge of right and wrong, but we also are quick to self justify if we go off the path.

 

[jacks]

I think we may experience different levels of forgiveness. For me, the most I've been able to achieve is a kind of indifference. I don't think about what they did and rarely think of them. Like the circumstance is no longer part of my life. However, I've never reached a level of forgiveness, that would make me want to hang out with the person or ever think very highly of them. I'm sure there are other levels (types?) of forgiveness too.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

I think the proof of forgiveness in not the emotional aspect, but the words you say and the deeds you do. Mad at somebody? Buy them a nice card. Drop them a note or an email asking how they are doing and that you hope to see them soon. IOWs act like nothing happened. It will not be long until it will be all in the past, and you may even start feeling better about them.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

We had an individual who wronged us.. that is our family. We were angry and my spouse had a hard time letting it go. I always imagine myself in heaven watching as people get tossed into the bad place of fire. I see that person being tossed into the agony below. All I have to do is forgive them in order for them to be released.
Kind puts it into perspective.

Also, if you do not forgive, God will turn you over to the tormentors. That is a pretty good motivator when you "do not feel" like doing it.
I am certain a few moments in the hands of the torments will make you feel like it.

Matt 18
32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

 

[Rescued One]

I try to concentrate on pleasing Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. That is my focus.

Ephesians 4:31-32.
New Life in Christ
…31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I think we may experience different levels of forgiveness. For me, the most I've been able to achieve is a kind of indifference. I don't think about what they did and rarely think of them. Like the circumstance is no longer part of my life. However, I've never reached a level of forgiveness, that would make me want to hang out with the person or ever think very highly of them. I'm sure there are other levels (types?) of forgiveness too.

God's requirement is that we forgive from the heart. Anything else is inadequate. In some circumstances, this is impossible, humanly speaking. Yet God demands that we forgive and there are consequences if we do not. God Himself provides the anwer. As in anything in the real Christian life, it is found in Christ. This article will help you. It helped me when my ex wife disappeared with my two young children. I could not forgive her myself. Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life Frankston

I think we may experience different levels of forgiveness. For me, the most I've been able to achieve is a kind of indifference. I don't think about what they did and rarely think of them. Like the circumstance is no longer part of my life. However, I've never reached a level of forgiveness, that would make me want to hang out with the person or ever think very highly of them. I'm sure there are other levels (types?) of forgiveness too.