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Do u feel hard to settle down?

restore

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I do not know how to move on , and what's wrong inside me........maybe cuz of coming from dyfunctional family backgrond, I have uncoditional love to persons, still fell in love always,but i just can not handle a long term romantic relationship, the romantic feelings will soon disappear, and I do not want to settle down to build a family....
 
J

Jenster

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Hi restore. Well, coming from a dysfunctional family *could* affect how you feel about settling down. If your family experience was stressful and challenging, it makes sense that you would not want to repeat that by getting married.

However, I think that the best marriages ARE worth it. They are positive, joyful, loving and meaningful. Many of us need to learn good communication and relationship skills in order for this to be possible, however. In other words, we can't just "do as we learned" in our families, or else we'll just repeat what we had in our families. Does that make sense?

Romantic feelings that disappear could be infatuation. That's attraction but not true love. True love is based on respect for yourself and the other person. It's two people being vulnerable with each other, sharing their deepest thoughts. It's also having fun together, and being united as a team.

There's a popular saying nowadays: Love is an action. That's what a relationship is about. Not just a feeling, but a series of actions that show you care about the other person.

I don't know how old you are, restore, but it's OK if you are not ready to settle down. Just make sure you are not afraid of it, as I think if you talked to happily married people, they would tell you that the work is worth it.

Hope that helps. :)
 
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soccerdad66

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Many of the "romantic feelings" that we have are a chemical reaction that we feel when there's an attraction to another person. Where do you think we get the word "Chemistry". We stop producing that after awhile, it doesn't necessarily mean things have changed.

As Jenster mentioned, true love is different then simply a feeling. It's a choice, and love can grow strong, without the assistance of a our body producing a chemical giving us that warm fuzzy feeling.

It's like our relationship with God, at times it's amazing, and at times, it takes work. But it's always worth the effort.
 
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C

country woman

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You are so right Soccerdad Love is an feeling as well as emotion. to be in love you have to have all these and more and love can grow. At my age I want to find someone and settle down. but I am already settled in a way. I have a daughter, I have a lots of friends and family. I have 2 jobs I have a home with

love is blind and you don't know when or who you will fall in love with. It can happen just like that . This is what has happened to me. You future spouse might not live in the same country or time zone.

Just pray about it and everything will work out.
 
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