Do I need to cut?

[IKTCA]

If someone says he doesn't want to give up cutting, that's his decision. The decision affects him alone.

But if he says he has a real need to cut, the statement affects others, for he is advocating cutting. I have trouble with the statement.

So here is my request. Can we talk about the need of cutting? Will you try to convince me of the need?

Why should you? Because I have a hard time accepting it, I may edit/delete such statements. I may become a genuine pain to you. So there is a real need for you to try to convince me.

Rupert

 

[jesuschickseven]

Ok... I don't think there is a real need to cut. There is a feeling of a real "need" to cut. Iv'e been there and every once and a while I find myself in that place again. I think I need to cut. I feel like it is my only option my only escape, the only thing I can do to cope with my feelings. But logically when I'm calmer I know I don't need to cut, I just have a problem dealing with myself in healthy ways.
Realistically though, I do believe self-harm is an addiction just like any drug or eating disorder. The people who suffer from it really feel that they have to do this they don't know any other way. So when people say they need to cut they are expressing the way they truly feel. They do think they need to cut and are being quite honest.
Self-harm is a complex issue and I think it is something that most people really don't understand unless they have struggled with it or another harmful addiction themselves.

 

[Mayflower1]

If someone says he doesn't want to give up cutting, that's his decision. The decision affects him alone.

But if he says he has a real need to cut, the statement affects others, for he is advocating cutting. I have trouble with the statement.

So here is my request. Can we talk about the need of cutting? Will you try to convince me of the need?

Why should you? Because I have a hard time accepting it, I may edit/delete such statements. I may become a genuine pain to you. So there is a real need for you to try to convince me.

Rupert

I use to feel like I had a need to cut. Sometimes I still do. I hadn't thought about it for awhile but the last two days I have. Sometimes though... it is the only way to stop thoughts... I can pray, I can read Psalms, I can even draw pictures of me with cuts all over my body or sing a song... it just doesn't go away. Like I said, I haven't had it in awhile and I am glad but sometimes, if you get addicted to something like cutting to suppress fears, memories... obsessive thoughts... it is just hard to stop, and it does begin to feel like it is needed. I read this book where a lady stuck things in her vagina to be able to fall asleep at night... it makes since though, because every night her father use to torture her by doing it himself to her and then she could sleep knowing her pain was over for the night... that is why she did it... I have a fear that something happened I am not remembering because already some new memories have come back and I am scared... I had been thinking of cutting again today but I don't like to sin against God. That is the only reason why I have fought off satan... I rely on God more then cutting but still... sometimes cutting is needed as hypocritical as I sound. Lily00

 

[oneandlonely]

As awful as it sounds I do feel I need it.

Right now it is my only way to cope. It is my only way to realease things. It is what is keeping me alive.

I have tried other things. I have tried journaling. I have tried talking. I have tried lots of other things. But sometimes I don't know how to talk about what is going on, and cutting gives me a way to realease things, without having to talk about them.

I can't say much more on this here, you can PM me if you wish

I don't know if that makes sense. :/ I am trying to learn better ways. But for now, I need to be able to cut.

 

[Mayflower1]

As awful as it sounds I do feel I need it.

Right now it is my only way to cope. It is my only way to realease things. It is what is keeping me alive.

I have tried other things. I have tried journaling. I have tried talking. I have tried lots of other things. But sometimes I don't know how to talk about what is going on, and cutting gives me a way to realease things, without having to talk about them.

I can't say much more on this here, you can PM me if you wish

I don't know if that makes sense. :/ I am trying to learn better ways. But for now, I need to be able to cut.

Don't feel guilty. I am not advocating cutting, but I can't judge you if I am over here doing it myself. There are better ways and I try really hard to stop. I haven't in awhile. I even prayed today and my urges went away. You just have to take it one day at a time. I know it is so hard to talk about your problems but cutting just gets so worse if you don't... at least talk to God about it... or if you cut, just start up in a prayer of thanks... it just helps so much. Have you tried ice or the rubber band technique? It doesn't work for me at all, but a good book of Psalms,good pillow pounding, or nice shower can sometimes do the trick... I guess we just have to ask ourselves if we have a "need to cut" or a need to be heard, loved, protected... it is fear, it is satan, it is our old nature that we must try with all of our might to fight, no matter how hard it may be... I will pray for you for I know how hard it is... cutting is so hard to stop, it does become a need for a little bit for some, but there just has to be a better way of dealing with our emotions and that way lies with God. If you ever want to talk, here is my email. I don't know what "PM' is. It is easier to talk to people with the same problem then telling a counselor I guess, but you probably should consider it... my therapist graduated and now that I can't talk to people a lot, more memories are coming back and the false security feeling is coming back to cut. Best Wishes. Lily00 I just learned what a PM is so yeh, you can do that if you like! I would have figured it out, really!

 

[IKTCA]

CF has a policy of not letting personal e-mail addresses to be posted. That's what PM is for. If someone contacts you, you can give your e-mail address or IM address (or name?).

The policy is to prevent the person to be unfairly taken advantage of by many. I encourage you to remove e-mail address at your earliest convenience.

Rupert

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Rupert,
I am not sure what your intent is. I see that you're a moderator and I am confused as to whether you are asking if convincing a person to cut should be allowed or if you actually want us to convince you of such.
I am just trying to clarify. All the same, I wish you the best.
-Oddbeani

 

[Mayflower1]

CF has a policy of not letting personal e-mail addresses to be posted. That's what PM is for. If someone contacts you, you can give your e-mail address or IM address (or name?).

The policy is to prevent the person to be unfairly taken advantage of by many. I encourage you to remove e-mail address at your earliest convenience.

Rupert

I am sorry! I didn't know. I removed it and I won't do it again. I have done it on depression forums so I didn't think nothing of it doing it here. I won't do it again though! Is there a rule page to read? I usually just press agree because I think I know right from wrong! It is really a bad habit I should really try to stop. I am sorry though! Thanks for warning me. Lily00 p.s. If you find my address on another, I think I might have, just know I will remove it as soon as I find it!

 

[Tenebrae]

For me cutting became a way to dull the emotional pain that I was in. But like an addiction to heroin(or ohter addictive drugs), I found, that each time I cut, I needed to do more damage to achieve that same dulling of emotional pain


What finally got me to stop, I believe was the last couple of times I self harmed, I needed imput from a plastic surgeon, including a skin graft, which freaked me out in the worst way. I realised that if I kept going I faced the really real possibility that I would do damage that the doctors wouldnt undo

I believe that people feel that they need to cut, and if thats how they have been dealing with stuff for a long time, that it takes a really long time to find new ways of dealing with the stuff

To be blunt, if I knew someone was cutting, I wouldnt hesititate to tell them its wrong, I now live with the effects of being a self harmer and its not nice, and will do anything to stop someone else making the same mistakes.

That said I would also work with them to find other ways of coping that didnt involve cutting. I have issues with people who say cutting is wrong but arent prepared to go the hard yards to help a person find alternative ways of coping

Hope that makes sense

 

[IKTCA]

That said I would also work with them to find other ways of coping that didnt involve cutting. I have issues with people who say cutting is wrong but arent prepared to go the hard yards to help a person find alternative ways of coping

Hope that makes sense

What are some of the alternative ways of coping? I am eager to hear and learn.
Rupert

 

[EbonNelumbo]

For me, an alternative way was doing something else that would inflict pain to myself. I used to use pain as a way to not think about what was really bothering me, but that led to painkillers and all sorts of horrible issues.
Another thing I used to do was write. I have an online blog which is public to everyone (including my siblings and pastor) and another which is kept open to only a few people who I trust enough to share some really deep, and often dark thoughts with. I know those people can offer me advice which I would otherwise go without. Often my VIP list blog is a place where I can just tell someone what's going on without being judged and then get the advice I need, or prayer, or just vent and not be judged.

I would also write lyrics to songs (I play bass and liked to tinker with new chords and lyrics...) or more often poetry. Sometimes I would write poetry with an offset Josesph Conrad detail scheme (think Heart of Darkness...) and would feel better, or would write about what was going on. The more details the better. I would also write fiction story stories.

Music would always go with whatever I was doing, no matter whether I was up or down, it would be there. The best way I found for myself to avoid doing something I would later regret, too often SI, I would avoid certain music which fed my emotions and depression. I got caught up in a couple songs that were really depressing and a couple others that were really angry, I did things I regret now when I would hit "repeat" on my cd player or something which I listened to them

I hope that helps. Uhh, point being, writing is a good outlet, at least for people who like to write. Music, think happy music or music without a bad message or pain in it, is good.

 

[Mayflower1]

What are some of the alternative ways of coping? I am eager to hear and learn.
Rupert

Praying is the best alternative I guess, but music has always been a great alternative for me because God gave me a gift and I like to sing. Some people wear rubber bands instead of cutting, rub on ice, take a shower, go for a walk, tear up their pictures, baby themselves in some way, read a book, go for a swim. There are many different ways of coping. One just needs to try them! Lily00

 

[Mayflower1]

Hello Rupert! Merry Christmas! Have a great Christmas and Happy New Year and I will talk to you after we get back to school January 17th. Oh, well! Merry Christmas friend! Lily00

 

[Tenebrae]

What are some of the alternative ways of coping? I am eager to hear and learn.
Rupert

for me at times it was going to a person and giving them the stuff I had that could be used for self injury. I felt like a noob however I reasoned that if I didnt have anything then I oculdnt self injure. Yes I could have gone out and got more, but I used to find that by giving the stuff to smeone else that usually provded enough times to get over that particular urge

At times, it was making myself watch a DVD, do some writing, it might have been complete incoherant drivel, but it was getting the bad feelings out of me so they didnt keep festering, but also it mean I wasnt going blah and dumping on other people

For me the rubber band turned into another way of self harm, because I would ping it till I broke it. As I said the real turning point was when I started needing an operation to fix the damage...

I didnt have a whole bunch of wonderful coping skills, at times it was simply choosing not to, trying to convince myself that it would pass. Once I had ridden out one urge to self injure and not done anything, it started getting easier, as I knew I had the ability to get through it...

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Upon further mulling over the OP...what is the intent here? And why do you have a problem with people saying they need to cut. It's kinda hazy...everyone has needs, and though I personally disagree with a lot of them...it's not my place to point every one out. I just am not seeing the relevance of the OP...or rather what the actual purpose is.

 

[IKTCA]

Once I had ridden out one urge to self injure and not done anything, it started getting easier, as I knew I had the ability to get through it...

Do you mean cold turkey ride out? I know how hard it is. But because it was a hard choice, reward was great I suppose. I mean it started to get better since then. Thank you.
Rupert

 

[IKTCA]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts/views on the need of cutting. What I am learning here is that the need may seem to be real, but is not. It appears to be a self-contradictory statement, but it slowly makes sense.

No believer is born to the faith. All believers were once in addiction and delivered by the Lord. One of my many addictions was success and fame. I put all my efforts to become a famous scholar. After I found the Lord, I realized I was deceived by the enemy.

What God gives is what I really need. What the enemy gives I don't need. Ambition for success and fame did not come from God. Neither does cutting. I hope my brothers and sisters with SI do not get deceived any more.

Rupert

 

[Knowledge3]

For me, an alternative way was doing something else that would inflict pain to myself. I used to use pain as a way to not think about what was really bothering me, but that led to painkillers and all sorts of horrible issues.

No, I would not want you to cut yourself.

You seem like a very intelligent person and I can tell by your writing style.

Wouldn't God want to heal your cuts? Jesus is the Great Physician, and He would want you to care for yourself and not harm or injure. I will say a short prayer, and Jesus can heal . . ."Be healed." Addictions are dependencies on a substance, these too are also harmful. Ask God in prayer to create a new beginning.

~K3

 

[Tenebrae]

Do you mean cold turkey ride out? I know how hard it is. But because it was a hard choice, reward was great I suppose. I mean it started to get better since then. Thank you.
Rupert

IN a way yes. I believe for me self harm became like a drug, to cut was like having a hit of heroin, or other addicting drug...

The longest I went before this time was 10months, and something happened one day and I gave up...... This last time, when I got to a milestone, I made to do something nice formyself, it might have been going to the dairy for an icecream, when I made the next milestone buying a CD I wanted and so on.

I think its important to set a little goal, ie "I'm not going to cut for one week". Then if you make one week, go "Yay me, now time to see if I can make one week 2 weeks" Or if another week seems to long make it half a week then revise...

This biggest thing I learned was to make managable goals. I started out saying, "I'm never going to cut or OD again", and when I failed, I felt really horrible, which would usually trigger of another period of self hatread and self injury...

For me in the beginning, they were little goals, a week, 2 weeks,, 1month, but there was always that little feeling of "yay I did it". When I made it to one year, it was worth a good celebration, and when I made two years this year, I was able to look back at that as a goal, also I have just finished my first year at uni, and while my life still isnt amazing, I am in a way better place than I ever thought I could be

 

[penguinfacesnorth]

If someone says he doesn't want to give up cutting, that's his decision. The decision affects him alone.

But if he says he has a real need to cut, the statement affects others, for he is advocating cutting. I have trouble with the statement.

So here is my request. Can we talk about the need of cutting? Will you try to convince me of the need?

Why should you? Because I have a hard time accepting it, I may edit/delete such statements. I may become a genuine pain to you. So there is a real need for you to try to convince me.

Rupert

although it may not make much sense, I understand the "need" to cut. to others it may appear to be a desire or want, but to the person who has SI'd and used that as a way to deal it is a " need" In a way it's not saying it is the right or correct thing to do. I know it isn't a good way to cope and I know it probably doesn't make much sense to anyone who doesn't cut, but it helps. It is something that over time has become a mechanism for dealing............ granted it is a poor mechanism and i believe it can be overcome but i fully understand the people who have the "need" to cut