Now, I am sorry to have been posting threads on here a lot recently, but I am on a journey, and this forum has really helped me a lot, so thank you all tons!!!
So i know that you guys are not doctors, but what do you think? - on and off for a while now, i have been struggling with OCD like symptoms such as blasphemous thoughts. I have also, without realising it, been experiencing compulsions, such as repeatedly tensing my muscles. However i think if i do have OCD then i have it very mildly because there are times (i can go weeks i think at times) without any symptoms or OCD thoughts.
I was stressed a couple of weeks ago and my thoughts were really weird, and i had to keep praying for forgiveness all of the time. However, it is not as bad now, but questions and doubts about God's nature keep coming to my mind, related to my worries about condemnation and God being mad at me. These thoughts could be related to OCD, or just be general worries because of things people have said in the past and how insecure i can be at times due to bullying etc. in my past.
Also, sometimes i will want to talk to God and i will start to blaspheme against Him. Im not sure if this is OcD or if i havent actually thought those thoughts, but i am just trying to figure out my own mind. It is so difficult to figure out if i have OCD, if i am just insecure, or if ive just been allowing these evil thoughts into my head by going on facebook too much, which is full of random, often quite sexually graphic jokes and things from people. maybe i am just spiritually sensitive, or maybe i just need to learn to take thoughts captive.
When i had anxiety in the past i used to see a counselor. i mentioned my weird thoughts tobhim and he told me that he didnt believe there was such a thing as purely mental oCd. Also, my youth leaders at church dont know anything about what ocd is and so they tell me that i should try and make sure that i dont use it as an excuse, to try and not work through these evil thoughts etc.
One of my youth leaders said to me that she can see that when i get worried, weird thoughts, sometimes i am able to step back and say 'hey, wait a second, i know i am being silly, i KNOW that God loves me", whereas some people cant do that. This makes me think that i dont have ocd.
However i think i may have it because these worries of condemnation and 'difficult theological questions' always seem to come back in some form, and cloud my views of the love of Jesus Christ, and bring me stress. Maybe though, that is because i still have unanswered questions or something. But i always seem to find a theological question to worry about.
Oh and my youth leader did say to me that she finds it unusual that when i have unanswered theological questions, i get so anxious and worried and feel so condemned that i find it hard to relax and think on other things. She thinks that that may be to do with something in my past or something, but it could be oCd?
Do you guys think i have it?
I could go to a doctor but 1) my parents get upset when i get anxious because they love. me so much that they worry about me, so i wouldnt want to worry them (or explain the sitiation to them!).2) what could he do? - pills never worked for me when i had panic attacks but God's love set me free.3) i read on a website that if you only have recurring, unwanted thoughts, you may not have ocd, and i dont really get compulsions, or at least, not any major ones that seriously bother me and take up my time
Im sorry if a lot of this doesnt make sense. Im in my mobile so it is difficult to type. i should be in bed really. i guess i just want to know if i have ocd because if not then maybe i am a bit perverse and doubtful all of the time.
Or maybe my thoughts have just got into some bad habits.
So i know that you guys are not doctors, but what do you think? - on and off for a while now, i have been struggling with OCD like symptoms such as blasphemous thoughts. I have also, without realising it, been experiencing compulsions, such as repeatedly tensing my muscles. However i think if i do have OCD then i have it very mildly because there are times (i can go weeks i think at times) without any symptoms or OCD thoughts.
I was stressed a couple of weeks ago and my thoughts were really weird, and i had to keep praying for forgiveness all of the time. However, it is not as bad now, but questions and doubts about God's nature keep coming to my mind, related to my worries about condemnation and God being mad at me. These thoughts could be related to OCD, or just be general worries because of things people have said in the past and how insecure i can be at times due to bullying etc. in my past.
Also, sometimes i will want to talk to God and i will start to blaspheme against Him. Im not sure if this is OcD or if i havent actually thought those thoughts, but i am just trying to figure out my own mind. It is so difficult to figure out if i have OCD, if i am just insecure, or if ive just been allowing these evil thoughts into my head by going on facebook too much, which is full of random, often quite sexually graphic jokes and things from people. maybe i am just spiritually sensitive, or maybe i just need to learn to take thoughts captive.
When i had anxiety in the past i used to see a counselor. i mentioned my weird thoughts tobhim and he told me that he didnt believe there was such a thing as purely mental oCd. Also, my youth leaders at church dont know anything about what ocd is and so they tell me that i should try and make sure that i dont use it as an excuse, to try and not work through these evil thoughts etc.
One of my youth leaders said to me that she can see that when i get worried, weird thoughts, sometimes i am able to step back and say 'hey, wait a second, i know i am being silly, i KNOW that God loves me", whereas some people cant do that. This makes me think that i dont have ocd.
However i think i may have it because these worries of condemnation and 'difficult theological questions' always seem to come back in some form, and cloud my views of the love of Jesus Christ, and bring me stress. Maybe though, that is because i still have unanswered questions or something. But i always seem to find a theological question to worry about.
Oh and my youth leader did say to me that she finds it unusual that when i have unanswered theological questions, i get so anxious and worried and feel so condemned that i find it hard to relax and think on other things. She thinks that that may be to do with something in my past or something, but it could be oCd?
Do you guys think i have it?
I could go to a doctor but 1) my parents get upset when i get anxious because they love. me so much that they worry about me, so i wouldnt want to worry them (or explain the sitiation to them!).2) what could he do? - pills never worked for me when i had panic attacks but God's love set me free.3) i read on a website that if you only have recurring, unwanted thoughts, you may not have ocd, and i dont really get compulsions, or at least, not any major ones that seriously bother me and take up my time
Im sorry if a lot of this doesnt make sense. Im in my mobile so it is difficult to type. i should be in bed really. i guess i just want to know if i have ocd because if not then maybe i am a bit perverse and doubtful all of the time.
Or maybe my thoughts have just got into some bad habits.
