Do I have a disorder??

[Tigger007]

Hi everyone, I'm Tigger, this is my first time on CF so hello

I was just wondering if you could help me with something. I'm a 15 year old girl and I'm worried I might have a problem. I know ED such as anorexia are caused by the sufferer fearing getting fat and stuff, but that's not quite the problem with me. It all started about 2 years ago when my parents were having a lot of trouble relationship wise. I would become so anxious over waiting for another fight that I would spend up to an hour in the bathroom crying and couldn't even be in a room with my brother and mother because the usually fought a lot too, at one point I even began to cut myself, I still don't really know why. I started to stop eating properly for a few days at time; 1: because I always felt nauses with worry, and 2: this is going to sound weird but not eating obviously made me very weak and it sorta numbed me so I couldn't feel as much.

About a year later my parents problems got sorted out reasonably well but I was still terribly anxious about fights between them and my other siblings, so my eating didn't really get much better. I think being anxious became kind of a habit and now I worry about every little thing. That's the real problem now; for the last few months I've been having terrible fears what I eat will give me diabeties, cancer, IBS, ect. Even though I know it's silly I can't stop thinking it. So I just don't eat. I'm worried it's become a disorder because I can have my favourite food in front me and I might have not eaten all day, but I just think eating it will get me sick, so I don't. At one point I went three days without eating. I've lost ten pounds in the last few months and I was alway a bit on the thin side anyway. My family has started saying I'm too thin and I have a problem. I always say I'm not hungry cause most of the time I'm not. It makes my mother angry if I don't eat, and even though I get anxious that she's mad at me and stuff, I still can't eat properly, and isn't that hipocritical? I'm starting to worry I have a disorder because even though I'm not eating beacuse I'm afraid of getting fat, I still don't eat because I'm afraid of something else. I'd just like to know if anyone else thinks this could be called an eating disorder?
Thanks for reading

 

[Tiggie]

Hi everyone, I'm Tigger, this is my first time on CF so hello

I was just wondering if you could help me with something. I'm a 15 year old girl and I'm worried I might have a problem. I know ED such as anorexia are caused by the sufferer fearing getting fat and stuff, but that's not quite the problem with me. It all started about 2 years ago when my parents were having a lot of trouble relationship wise. I would become so anxious over waiting for another fight that I would spend up to an hour in the bathroom crying and couldn't even be in a room with my brother and mother because the usually fought a lot too, at one point I even began to cut myself, I still don't really know why. I started to stop eating properly for a few days at time; 1: because I always felt nauses with worry, and 2: this is going to sound weird but not eating obviously made me very weak and it sorta numbed me so I couldn't feel as much.

About a year later my parents problems got sorted out reasonably well but I was still terribly anxious about fights between them and my other siblings, so my eating didn't really get much better. I think being anxious became kind of a habit and now I worry about every little thing. That's the real problem now; for the last few months I've been having terrible fears what I eat will give me diabeties, cancer, IBS, ect. Even though I know it's silly I can't stop thinking it. So I just don't eat. I'm worried it's become a disorder because I can have my favourite food in front me and I might have not eaten all day, but I just think eating it will get me sick, so I don't. At one point I went three days without eating. I've lost ten pounds in the last few months and I was alway a bit on the thin side anyway. My family has started saying I'm too thin and I have a problem. I always say I'm not hungry cause most of the time I'm not. It makes my mother angry if I don't eat, and even though I get anxious that she's mad at me and stuff, I still can't eat properly, and isn't that hipocritical? I'm starting to worry I have a disorder because even though I'm not eating beacuse I'm afraid of getting fat, I still don't eat because I'm afraid of something else. I'd just like to know if anyone else thinks this could be called an eating disorder?
Thanks for reading

Hiya- I'm Tiggie (after my hamster Tigger who I normally call Tiggie anyway...lol)
I'm also new here. I came looking for a place to get my relationship with God stronger and hopefully address my E.D too.

I can DEFINATELY relate to the part where you said not eating numbs you. Yep- it does. And prolonged starvation actually kicks up your adrenalin which kinda gave me a buz that I longed for.
Basically, I can't say (or anyone else on here) that you are or are not anorexic(r any other e.d) as we aren't doctors and haven't evalluated you. but what i can say is that going on what you have said in your post, it seems you are having trouble in this area and if not addressed it could quite honestly develop into one if you aren't careful. that's the thing with e.d's - they suck you in before you realise it and then it's too late to back away without serious help.
i've been anorexic for 10 years (actually a bit more) and it's not something i want to EVER recommend to ANYone! So please, consider asking someone in your life for help. Do you have a trusted person in your life you could confide in? Or a gp doctor? doctors and counsellors have to keep your confidentiality and can't break that trust with your parents without your say so or unless they think you are about to harm yourself (like commit suicide)- that's the only 2 exceptions.

you said you used to cut - I used to cut too. it's a comfort i guess. I havent cut for a couple months and am proud i've resisted those urges. at the end of the day it made the problem go away for a little bit but it always came back to bite me.

is there someone at church you could talk to for support?

if you ever need any advice or someone to talk to you can just shout. i dont know everything but i can be an ear if anything.

please take care- no one deserves to go through an e.d. please consider some help before it sucks you in like it did me. you don't want to get that far. it kills. it nearly killed me. i had multiple organ failure and spent months in hospital. months i coulda been enjoying my life. and you know, i didn't go down this road with the intention of becomming anorexic. i was troubled at home and in my life and had gone through so much trauma and stuff that I found it hard eating too. so please take care and watch it doesn't become something bigger than you can handle. it's a great first step questioning your position in this- so i'm proud of you for that!
take care hun...
(ps, something i try remind myself when i get really down on my body is : "we are fearfully and wonderfully made". totally true hey?)

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Wow - I got so confused coming into this thread to see a Tiggie and a Tigger . Welcome both of you though!

.

I can't really add anything to Tiggie's great post. The first step is to go and see a doctor if you can. They're always the best people to be able to tell you if you have an ED or not and what the best steps to take are. As Tiggie said, stop this before it takes total control .

Would you mind if I prayed for you? (I'm not sure of your beliefs)

Shalom,
Steffi

 

[Tigger007]

Thanks for replying Tiggie I really appreciate your advice and I'm taking it to heart, the same for you Steffie. And thankyou for understanding and sharing some of your experiances Tiggie, it helped me not feel so alienated. I wouldn't want to go through the pain you must have and still be feeling, so I will address this before I damage my body too. God bless you both and no Steffie I wouldn't mind at all if you prayed for me, I'd be very grateful that you care.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I wouldn't mind at all if you prayed for me, I'd be very grateful that you care.

Then pray I shall do . (and send a few hugs your way ).

 

[Tiggie]

Thanks for replying Tiggie I really appreciate your advice and I'm taking it to heart, the same for you Steffie. And thankyou for understanding and sharing some of your experiances Tiggie, it helped me not feel so alienated. I wouldn't want to go through the pain you must have and still be feeling, so I will address this before I damage my body too. God bless you both and no Steffie I wouldn't mind at all if you prayed for me, I'd be very grateful that you care.

Hi hun,

No probs. Anytime you wanna chat I'll be around...
I'm not in the best place myself, but the way I see it is this: we all need help, and sometimes we can help others by helping ourselves too. And at the end of the day we aren't a finished creation until God says we are, so until then- I'm a work in progress and will try to keep going...

Take care, and look after yourself. Let us know how you're doing. :0)