Dnr

[Skyecatcher]

Back ground : my husband is 34 ,blind , diabetic, has renal failure,
We have three kids together

He has given up. I was informed recently he wants to sign a dnr
And every time he has a diabetic seizure he just wants us to leave and let him die.
Twice today he has had a seizure, twice I took the actions to keep him alive only to have him verbally bash me and try to attack me.
He says I am going against his wishes,and I should respect him since he is my husband.
I just don't want to watch him die.
I have no idea what i am to do now,he is not religious in any sense. I am , I read the bible, I pray, I go to church, I try really hard to follow God. This is hard for me.
How do I live with a man who hates me for forcing him to live?

 

[dysert]

Back ground : my husband is 34 ,blind , diabetic, has renal failure,
We have three kids together

He has given up. I was informed recently he wants to sign a dnr
And every time he has a diabetic seizure he just wants us to leave and let him die.
Twice today he has had a seizure, twice I took the actions to keep him alive only to have him verbally bash me and try to attack me.
He says I am going against his wishes,and I should respect him since he is my husband.
I just don't want to watch him die.
I have no idea what i am to do now,he is not religious in any sense. I am , I read the bible, I pray, I go to church, I try really hard to follow God. This is hard for me.
How do I live with a man who hates me for forcing him to live?

I suspect that he has the legal right to sign a DNR. If that happens, then I suspect that you are bound to honor it. Otoh, maybe you'd like to convince him to instead create a "living will", which more-or-less states his wishes should he become terminal.

I believe there are worse things than "living", but there's no worse thing than dying without Christ.

 

[seeingeyes]

Back ground : my husband is 34 ,blind , diabetic, has renal failure,
We have three kids together

He has given up. I was informed recently he wants to sign a dnr
And every time he has a diabetic seizure he just wants us to leave and let him die.
Twice today he has had a seizure, twice I took the actions to keep him alive only to have him verbally bash me and try to attack me.
He says I am going against his wishes,and I should respect him since he is my husband.
I just don't want to watch him die.
I have no idea what i am to do now,he is not religious in any sense. I am , I read the bible, I pray, I go to church, I try really hard to follow God. This is hard for me.
How do I live with a man who hates me for forcing him to live?

Does his doctor know that he feels this way?

 

[Pal Handy]

Back ground : my husband is 34 ,blind , diabetic, has renal failure,
We have three kids together

He has given up. I was informed recently he wants to sign a dnr
And every time he has a diabetic seizure he just wants us to leave and let him die.
Twice today he has had a seizure, twice I took the actions to keep him alive only to have him verbally bash me and try to attack me.
He says I am going against his wishes,and I should respect him since he is my husband.
I just don't want to watch him die.
I have no idea what i am to do now,he is not religious in any sense. I am , I read the bible, I pray, I go to church, I try really hard to follow God. This is hard for me.
How do I live with a man who hates me for forcing him to live?

First of all pray for his salvation in Christ.

Then if you have God's peace in being so bold, you could tell your
husband something like the following...

Tell him that you love him and do not want to let him go.

Tell him that if he will accept Jesus Christ as his savior, you will have peace in knowing
you will see him again and you will honor his desire not to be resuscitated.

Of course this may shock him but then you can share the fact that you not only love him
but you want to see him again in heaven as you want him to have what you have found
in love, peace, assurance, and forgiveness in Christ.

Tell him that just as the Lord hasn't given up on him even though he
has reject God's love over and over, you will not give up on him and let
him die until you know that he has found God's love, forgiveness and eternal life in Christ.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

Back ground : my husband is 34 ,blind , diabetic, has renal failure,
We have three kids together

He has given up. I was informed recently he wants to sign a dnr
And every time he has a diabetic seizure he just wants us to leave and let him die.
Twice today he has had a seizure, twice I took the actions to keep him alive only to have him verbally bash me and try to attack me.
He says I am going against his wishes,and I should respect him since he is my husband.
I just don't want to watch him die.
I have no idea what i am to do now,he is not religious in any sense. I am , I read the bible, I pray, I go to church, I try really hard to follow God. This is hard for me.
How do I live with a man who hates me for forcing him to live?

the best thing to do is to follow what you think is in your heart. if you believe God is leading you to keep him from passing on so that he might come to know God better and be healed, then do what God says and tell him that you must obey God as best you can because God and you love him so much. if you can get him to realize that there is a God and He wants your husband to live and not die, you can win yopur husband's support and and end the resistance.


(Mar 9:20 KJV) And they brought him unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming.
(Mar 9:21 KJV) And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child.
(Mar 9:22 KJV) And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.
(Mar 9:23 KJV) Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.
(Mar 9:24 KJV) And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.
(Mar 9:25 KJV) When Jesus saw that the people came running together, he rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him, and enter no more into him.
(Mar 9:26 KJV) And the spirit cried, and rent him sore, and came out of him: and he was as one dead; insomuch that many said, He is dead.
(Mar 9:27 KJV) But Jesus took him by the hand, and lifted him up; and he arose.

(Mar 11:21 KJV) And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold, the fig tree which thou cursedst is withered away.
(Mar 11:22 KJV) And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.
(Mar 11:23 KJV) For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
(Mar 11:24 KJV) Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
(Mar 11:25 KJV) And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.



Receiving And Ministering Healing | Moore Life Ministries - Branson, MO

Receiving And Ministering Healing 2 | Moore Life Ministries - Branson, MO

God Wants You Well - Audio Teaching - Andrew Wommack Ministries

 

[BFine]

Back ground : my husband is 34 ,blind , diabetic, has renal failure,
We have three kids together

He has given up. I was informed recently he wants to sign a dnr
And every time he has a diabetic seizure he just wants us to leave and let him die.
Twice today he has had a seizure, twice I took the actions to keep him alive only to have him verbally bash me and
try to attack me.
He says I am going against his wishes,and I should respect him since he is my husband.
I just don't want to watch him die.

I have no idea what i am to do now,he is not religious in any sense. I am , I read the bible, I pray, I go to church, I try really hard to follow God. This is hard for me.
How do I live with a man who hates me for forcing him to live?

*One, you aren't forcing him to live, you acted as a loving person would,
you gave him the appropriate measures and or medicine to rectify his diabetic
seizures.

Your husband needs to make his wishes known to his doctor and or contact
a lawyer to draw up the appropriate document(s) so he won't be given CPR etc.

If he is set on not living, then he would take the necessary steps to
getting a medical DNR and or living will in place.

For Arizona:
Bureau of Emergency Medical Services & Trauma System
Do Not Resuscitate Form

The Prehospital Medical Care Directive form (commonly known as the Do Not Resuscitate or DNR form) is authorized by A.R.S. § 36-3251. The DNR form allows an individual to indicate that he or she does not want to be resuscitated if he or she suffers cardiac or respiratory arrest. The form allows an individual to declare that the following resuscitative measures are not to be used: cardiac compression, endotracheal intubation and other advanced airway management, artificial ventilation, defibrillation, administration of advanced cardiac life support drugs and related emergency medical procedures.

The DNR form does not authorize the withholding of other medical interventions, such as intravenous fluids, oxygen, or other therapies deemed necessary to provide comfort care or to alleviate pain.

Emergency medical system and hospital emergency department personnel who make a good faith effort to identify the patient and who rely on an apparently genuine DNR form or photocopy of a DNR form on orange paper are immune from liability to the same extent and under the same conditions as prescribed in A.R.S. § 36-3205. If a person has any doubt as to the validity of a DNR form or the medical situation, that person shall proceed with resuscitative efforts as otherwise required by law. Emergency medical system personnel are not required to accept or interpret medical care directives that do not meet the requirements of A.R.S. § 36-3251.

 

[Skyecatcher]

He refuses to believe in God, he says God did this to him.
I am a fool apparently for having faith.
He is terminal, that is what kidney failure is. You don't survive.
Her refuses dialysis and transplant and has now not allowed me to take him to the doctor appointments that are needed to gauge his illness.

I can't stop him from signing a dnr
But honestly it will be hard for me to forgive him.
I would rather live with him verbally abusing me because I saved him then watch him die.
I don't understand what I am to learn from this. He is being impossible

 

[Inkachu]

Skye,

First of all, my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine the pain and dread you live with on a daily basis.

As others have said, you can't force your husband to survive if he doesn't want to. I know you don't want him to die, especially without knowing God. You do need to inform his doctor(s) and possibly a nearby hospice about what is happening. He may be in so much pain and suffering that he isn't thinking straight right now. If it's determined that he's mentally compromised, you may be able to take steps to get him into a facility whether he likes it or not. That's not saying he'll suddenly turn around and want to live, but at least it might offer a chance for him to get the care he needs to come back to a place where he can make a rational decision.

The most important thing for you to remember, is that God knows exactly what's happening in your family. He's totally aware of what you're going through, and what your husband is going through. I would pray that God spares his life until your husband has a chance to reconsider his salvation. I would be praying constantly over this, and possibly start fasting as well. Ask your friends, family, and church members to pray, too. This is an urgent and desperate situation that needs all the prayer you can get. Even if this is your husband's time to go, you can bathe him in constant prayer, stop arguing and fighting with him, just love and care for him the best you can, try to ignore the verbal abuse and wishes to die, he's afraid and weary and speaking out of a desperate place. Let your love and compassion and devotion to God be a witness to him right now.

Please keep us posted, OK? Do you have any word on how much time he's expected to have left?

 

[ConfuseddotCom]

He refuses to believe in God, he says God did this to him.

Can I just point out you've said that he said God did this to him, to make such a statement he must believe in God.

 

[stormdancer0]

I would just tell him flat out, "I refuse to let you die and send you to hell. I love you too much for that. If you want to give your life to Christ, so that you'll be with me in Heaven, let me know, and we'll talk about letting you go."

I sympathize with you. My husband is in the same situation - in total kidney failure, diabetic, and also with advanced neuropathy. He had no feeling from his knees down, which means he can step on a tack and walk around with it in his foot for days, or tear his big toenail off and have no idea how he did it (He's done that twice, now).

My husband would not agree to dialysis, either. But they have this peritoneal dialysis, that is much easier, with no needles or blood, and you do it at home. He would have to do it four times a day, but it only takes about 30 minutes each time. Minor out-patient surgery put the catheter in, and two weeks later, my husband started dialysis. It's really not hard, or complicated. You go in for monthly bloodwork, and that's it.

I'll be praying for your situation. I told my husband a few years ago that I would never let him go unless I knew he was a believer. He was, and is, but I had to make sure.

 

[stormdancer0]

He refuses to believe in God, he says God did this to him.
I am a fool apparently for having faith.
He is terminal, that is what kidney failure is. You don't survive.
Her refuses dialysis and transplant and has now not allowed me to take him to the doctor appointments that are needed to gauge his illness.

I can't stop him from signing a dnr
But honestly it will be hard for me to forgive him.
I would rather live with him verbally abusing me because I saved him then watch him die.
I don't understand what I am to learn from this. He is being impossible

Has he ever been a believer?

It sounds like he is in despair. While it is a miserable way to live, and also a sin, it will not negate an earlier declaration of faith. We all get angry at God sometimes. It's because we don't understand something that is happening. God understands that, and we all know that Jesus is sympathetic when it comes to being upset about having to go through something. Even Jesus cried out to His Father, asking if possible for Him to take the cup away.

 

[seeingeyes]

He refuses to believe in God, he says God did this to him.
I am a fool apparently for having faith.
He is terminal, that is what kidney failure is. You don't survive.
Her refuses dialysis and transplant and has now not allowed me to take him to the doctor appointments that are needed to gauge his illness.

I can't stop him from signing a dnr
But honestly it will be hard for me to forgive him.
I would rather live with him verbally abusing me because I saved him then watch him die.
I don't understand what I am to learn from this. He is being impossible

My sister, are you receiving any counsel at this time? Perhaps a strong sister to lean on? Find someone you can trust. You and your husband are both under a great burden now. Don't go it alone.

I'm going to speak plainly here, so don't think I'm being too harsh, but your trust needs to be in your Father in heaven, creator of all, who sent his son to die even for the likes of your husband, and not in your ability for to keep your husband breathing long enough to change his mind.

You don't get to 'save' your husband. And even if, by some strange theology you could, it would be by doing the same thing Christ did, laying down your own life for him. Not by forcing him to hang onto his.

You are not responsible for this man's soul. Your only obligation is the continuing debt to love one another.

There is no way in hell that you love this man more than your Father does, so give this burden up to Him.

As a practical matter, if I were in your shoes, I would just tell my husband the truth, "I'm going to keep resuscitating until I'm no longer legally allowed to. You don't get to just wink out of existence. If you want to go that badly, you'd better get your paperwork in order."

Be firm. Be kind. And most of all, be love.

The Lord turn His countenance upon you and give you peace.

 

[Peripatetic]

I have no idea what i am to do now,he is not religious in any sense. I am , I read the bible, I pray, I go to church, I try really hard to follow God. This is hard for me.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this awful time. I can't imagine how hard it would be. With respect to his unbelief, this line from 1 Corinthians may provide at least a little bit of comfort.

1 Corinthians 7:14a
For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband.

There is some debate about what exactly this means, but one thing is clear: your faith does make a difference for him. The Holy Spirit may be at work in him even now.

 

[seeingeyes]

1 Corinthians 7:14a
For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband.

There is some debate about what exactly this means, but one thing is clear: your faith does make a difference for him. The Holy Spirit may be at work in him even now.

Amen. The Lord is unbelievably good. And nothing is over till He says it is.

Hang in there, sister.

 

[cmjohnson1613]

I don't even know what to say but God is amazing and I need to to continue to praise him and have faith in him. Please do keep us posted.

Me and my wife will be praying for your husband and you

Also have you ever fasted for your husband?