divorcing a bipolar

[tulipbee]

My niece and her husband agreed to divorce. On my family side, they used the word "Bipolar". My niece and her bipolar husband can't get along and agreed to divorced. What are the grounds for divorce in this case?

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

There are no grounds for divorce in this case.

Unless he is being verbally, emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive toward her or cheating on her (or vice versa) there are no grounds for divorce in this case.

 

[tulipbee]

There are no grounds for divorce in this case.

Unless he is being verbally, emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive toward her or cheating on her (or vice versa) there are no grounds for divorce in this case.

What if they're both equally verbally, emotionally abusing each other at the same time?

 

[tulipbee]

Can a person that is divorced in a case like this be eligible to be a deacon or elder?

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

A person who is divorced is not eligible to be a deacon or an elder, because it shows that they couldn't even take care of the matters of their own household, let alone a church.

If they are abusing each other, we are called to restoration if at all possible. I personally don't believe in divorce any under circumstances, but I do believe that separation is warranted under certain conditions.

 

[Texan40]

My niece and her husband agreed to divorce. On my family side, they used the word "Bipolar". My niece and her bipolar husband can't get along and agreed to divorced. What are the grounds for divorce in this case?

I can't see a biblical grounds for divorcing a person who is being hounded by the enemy. I don't know the whole story but have they tried to ask God to heal the husband? Have they tried to weather the storm through faith? Is he on any medication? Counseling or therapy?

 

[tulipbee]

... Is he on any medication? Counseling or therapy?

I don't know but my niece is high on happiness. I'd rather obey God and be miserable than be happy and disobey God.

Happiness is _____________?

 

[mont974x4]

Can a person that is divorced in a case like this be eligible to be a deacon or elder?

That is entirely a matter for their own church or denomination. Biblically, I honestly see no call for such restrictions.

For now, though, I would say it is a very bad idea for either of them. From what you have shared here, they have enough issues they need to deal with.

 

[Texan40]

I don't know but my niece is high on happiness. I'd rather obey God and be miserable than be happy and disobey God.

Happiness is _____________?

Obeying your happiness is putting the cart before the horse! Scripture certainly doesn't advocate living life through the attention of your own emotions. Sadly "living for your own happiness" is the secular doctrine of the day.

 

[firechild]

Why would someone divorcing a person with a mental illness be any different from divorcing someone healthy or with a different type of illness when it comes to whether they can be ordained later on? And why would their illness in itself be grounds in the first place? If they are untreated and abusive / refuse to get treatment, then I can see where there are grounds. It's also offensive to call that person "a bipolar". I'm not saying you meant to be, just didn't know. We prefer "person with bipolar disorder".

 

[Romanseight2005]

Obeying your happiness is putting the cart before the horse! Scripture certainly doesn't advocate living life through the attention of your own emotions. Sadly "living for your own happiness" is the secular doctrine of the day.

I like the way you worded that. The cart before the horse. Happiness isn't something we manipulate our circumstances to achieve, rather, it's a byproduct of abiding in Christ. I once heard someone say that true wealth isn't in having alot, but rather, loving what you have. Contentedness is the key to wealth. If a person has what considered to be very little, by most, but is appreciated by the one who has it, is that person not wealthier and happier than the person with what most would consider to be alot?

 

[janman345]

I like the way you worded that. The cart before the horse. Happiness isn't something we manipulate our circumstances to achieve, rather, it's a byproduct of abiding in Christ. I once heard someone say that true wealth isn't in having alot, but rather, loving what you have. Contentedness is the key to wealth. If a person has what considered to be very little, by most, but is appreciated by the one who has it, is that person not wealthier and happier than the person with what most would consider to be alot?

I would agree with this only to an extent, if it is taken to far that line of thinking can lead to lack of motivation for something someone wants. If I want a nice house I may pursue a degree and a good job so that I can realisticly buy a house. Manipulating our circumstances to achive something is not against the bible this is another agenda pushed by some churchs dogma.

 

[Created2Write]

I would agree with this only to an extent, if it is taken to far that line of thinking can lead to lack of motivation for something someone wants. If I want a nice house I may pursue a degree and a good job so that I can realisticly buy a house. Manipulating our circumstances to achive something is not against the bible this is another agenda pushed by some churchs dogma.

It is wrong, if the thing you desire is unbiblical. In this case, unless abuse or unfaithfulness has occurred, there are no grounds for divorce. They want a divorce so they can be happy, since they don't get along. You don't "choose" what you want as a Christian. In fact, the Bible teaches us to deny ourselves our fleshly desires, and instead walk in the Spirit. Just because they "want" a divorce, doesn't mean God would advocate them getting one.

The comparison to the house doesn't apply since there's nothing in the Bible against having a well paying job and a nice house. In fact, Jeremiah 29:11 says that God's plans are to prosper us. But going against God's law, to obtain "happiness" is sinful.

 

[janman345]

It is wrong, if the thing you desire is unbiblical. In this case, unless abuse or unfaithfulness has occurred, there are no grounds for divorce. They want a divorce so they can be happy, since they don't get along. You don't "choose" what you want as a Christian. In fact, the Bible teaches us to deny ourselves our fleshly desires, and instead walk in the Spirit. Just because they "want" a divorce, doesn't mean God would advocate them getting one.

The comparison to the house doesn't apply since there's nothing in the Bible against having a well paying job and a nice house. In fact, Jeremiah 29:11 says that God's plans are to prosper us. But going against God's law, to obtain "happiness" is sinful.

not allowing a divorce for an unhappy situation is NOT prospering. Thats why that inturpretation does not make any sense.

 

[Created2Write]

not allowing a divorce for an unhappy situation is NOT prospering. Thats why that inturpretation does not make any sense.

Justify it any way you want. But Jesus Himself made it clear:

Matthew 5:30-32
"31It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."


No where does that mention happiness. Period. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul talks about unequally yoked couples staying married, despite their differing beliefs. That can cause a lot of unhappiness. So can things that don't matter, like the kind of car they drive, or the size of house they own. We don't divorce over "happiness" as happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes. That's why were called to COMMIT ourselves to our spouse.

 

[janman345]

Justify it any way you want. But Jesus Himself made it clear:

Matthew 5:30-32
"31It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."


No where does that mention happiness. Period. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul talks about unequally yoked couples staying married, despite their differing beliefs. That can cause a lot of unhappiness. So can things that don't matter, like the kind of car they drive, or the size of house they own. We don't divorce over "happiness" as happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes. That's why were called to COMMIT ourselves to our spouse.

Then dont talk about it like its tied to prospering. Happieness is not nessicarily fleeting as long as you make choices that keep you at peace and your needs met. Also where in the bible does it say happieness is fleeting?

Also in mathew it goes on to say that not all can accept this which is why moses law existed in the first place. He did not come to do away with moses law but to lay out how things were originally suppose to be, because of sin not all marriages can stay together, the circumstances are up to your inturpretation based on further books of the bible in 1 cor and even going back to exodus. Yea it would be sweet if each marriage partner did what they were suppose to and everyone lived happily ever after, to bad thats not reality thats why moses law exists.

 

[Created2Write]

Then dont talk about it like its tied to prospering.

Dude, YOU mentioned prosperity in the first place. Not me.

Happieness is not nessicarily fleeting as long as you make choices that keep you at peace and your needs met.

Uh huh. Where is that biblical?

Also where in the bible does it say happieness is fleeting?

Never said the Bible said happiness was fleeting. But the fact is that it is. The bible mentions joy as a part of the fruits of the Spirit. Happiness isn't the same as joy. Happiness can be contingent on circumstances around us. Think about it; when a family member dies, we're saddened, not happy. If we loose our job, we're not happy. When we have other trials in our lives, we aren't necessarily happy. But we can have joy despite our circumstances. Hence, happiness is fleeting, as it comes as goes.

Also in mathew it goes on to say that not all can accept this which is why moses law existed in the first place.

Does it really? Enlighten me, by showing me which scripture says this.

He did not come to do away with moses law but to lay out how things were originally suppose to be,

Yeah. So if things are supposed to be a certain way, any deviation from that would be....wrong and sinful.

because of sin not all marriages can stay together,

I would exclude the word "can". All marriages CAN stay together, but many simply DON'T. There is a difference. And just because sin exists, it isn't a justification for divorcing unbiblically.

the circumstances are up to your inturpretation based on further books of the bible

Back to the interpretation junk.

in 1 cor and even going back to exodus. Yea it would be sweet if each marriage partner did what they were suppose to and everyone lived happily ever after, to bad thats not reality thats why moses law exists.

Listen, when Jesus was resurrected, the OT law became void as it no longer applied. Grace is now enough to wash away our sins. We no longer have to offer burnt offerings and sacrifices as atonement for our sins. Jesus didn't come to do away with the law, but his response to Moses divorce law was not positive. In fact, I'd say they were highly correctional.

Matthew 5:31-32
31It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery

 

[janman345]

Dude, YOU mentioned prosperity in the first place. Not me.



Uh huh. Where is that biblical?



Never said the Bible said happiness was fleeting. But the fact is that it is. The bible mentions joy as a part of the fruits of the Spirit. Happiness isn't the same as joy. Happiness can be contingent on circumstances around us. Think about it; when a family member dies, we're saddened, not happy. If we loose our job, we're not happy. When we have other trials in our lives, we aren't necessarily happy. But we can have joy despite our circumstances. Hence, happiness is fleeting, as it comes as goes.



Does it really? Enlighten me, by showing me which scripture says this.



Yeah. So if things are supposed to be a certain way, any deviation from that would be....wrong and sinful.



I would exclude the word "can". All marriages CAN stay together, but many simply DON'T. There is a difference. And just because sin exists, it isn't a justification for divorcing unbiblically.



Back to the interpretation junk.



Listen, when Jesus was resurrected, the OT law became void as it no longer applied. Grace is now enough to wash away our sins. We no longer have to offer burnt offerings and sacrifices as atonement for our sins. Jesus didn't come to do away with the law, but his response to Moses divorce law was not positive. In fact, I'd say they were highly correctional.

Matthew 5:31-32
31It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery

Yea except we seemed to come out on the crumby end of the stick when it comes to divorce and what justifys it ..... of course depending on your inturpretation.

In your inturpretation we are more chained now than the OT people were when it comes to divorce, how is that a step forward? I believe some churchs context on mathew is off as that would mean that we are worse off now if you did not happen to choose a wife quite so wisely which is legalism at its finest. Opps you messed up now you are going to pay even more dearly than OT people, how is that a good thing? Its not thats why it makes no sense to inturpret things the way you do.

Also using your logic it would be better to fornicate with a bunch of different women until you were super sure you were with someone solid becuase it seems the church puts more emphisis on divorce and remarraige rather than fornicating and breaking up (even though biblically its the same thing).

 

[Romanseight2005]

Yea except we seemed to come out on the crumby end of the stick when it comes to divorce and what justifys it ..... of course depending on your inturpretation.

In your inturpretation we are more chained now than the OT people were when it comes to divorce, how is that a step forward? I believe some churchs context on mathew is off as that would mean that we are worse off now if you did not happen to choose a wife quite so wisely which is legalism at its finest. Opps you messed up now you are going to pay even more dearly than OT people, how is that a good thing? Its not thats why it makes no sense to inturpret things the way you do.

Also using your logic it would be better to fornicate with a bunch of different women until you were super sure you were with someone solid becuase it seems the church puts more emphisis on divorce and remarraige rather than fornicating and breaking up (even though biblically its the same thing).

We are not worse off now, but more is definitely demanded of us, because we are now empowered in a way they weren't in the OT. We are now houses, or temples, of the Holy Spirit which enables us to walk in newness of life. The OT was in waiting, and while the law was harsh, we are expected to not need the law now, because we are expected to bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit, which needs no law. Jesus brought the very definition of marriage back from God's original intention. He stated that while Moses gave them permission to divorce at will, that was not how God originally intended it. His disciples asked who could live up to this, and Jesus stated that not everyone could. However, if you are His, and you are empowered by the Holy Spirit, you absolutely can. This doesn't mean perfection, but in many ways the bar has been raised for standards of character.

 

[Created2Write]

Yea except we seemed to come out on the crumby end of the stick when it comes to divorce and what justifys it ..... of course depending on your inturpretation.

No idea what this means. At all.

In your inturpretation we are more chained now than the OT people were when it comes to divorce, how is that a step forward?

That's because in the OT women were viewed as property, first of the father, then of the husband. So much so that if a woman fornicated with a man, the man paying the bride price was enough to right the wrong for the father. So, yeah things were "easier" back then, but that doesn't mean it was the right way. And it obviously wasn't, because Jesus corrected the issue of divorce in Matthew 5.

I believe some churchs context on mathew is off as that would mean that we are worse off now

I'm sure you do believe this, as it helps to justify your own decisions. If you disagree with the interpretations set down by scholars and professionals who've studied the Bible in its original languages, then it makes sin a lot easier to justify sinful behavior, doesn't it?

if you did not happen to choose a wife quite so wisely which is legalism at its finest. Opps you messed up now you are going to pay even more dearly than OT people, how is that a good thing? Its not thats why it makes no sense to inturpret things the way you do.

Firstly, just because a person makes a stupid decision doesn't mean they have a right to try and twist scripture to make their decision less than it is. It's not God's fault if we mess up, it's our own fault. Like the Bible says, you reap what you sow. It's called consequences. Secondly, just because a stupid decision is made, doesn't mean a sinful choice is justified. If a person marries someone they're not happy with, it's not God's fault, it's their own for not using the brain God gave them. You can't come back and try to justify divorcing them based on happiness, because happiness comes and goes.

Also using your logic it would be better to fornicate with a bunch of different women until you were super sure you were with someone solid becuase it seems the church puts more emphisis on divorce and remarraige rather than fornicating and breaking up (even though biblically its the same thing).

OR you could always put the human being you claim to love above the sexual acts you desire?

Your view has absolutely no grounds within scripture. None. Want to know why? It goes against the very nature of God and His purpose for us. It goes against the very core of Christianity. Your view is entirely about selfishness, and what makes YOU happy, regardless of the feelings of those around you.