Divorced, re-married and confused

[Rafael]

I agree with both of you, Kbean and Yitzchak. Each situation is indiviually dealt with by the Lord, and we reach for mercy istead of judgment.

 

[jwebhead]

What do you think you want the story to tell when you are 75? That you made it through for those boys of yours and did what was right, or that you stuck to doing what made you happy at the time?

I am really struggling and thinking about this comment.

By the way, I really don't think it's possible for kids to 'adapt well' in any situation like this, when dad is still alive but the new guy in mom's life is taking over...please get more informed on the impact your decisions are REALLY having on your children.

What about the blessing we all are seeing with their, for a lack of a better word, acceptance of this situation. They are with their Dad in CA right now for the next 6 weeks and seem fine. No I do not know their private thoughts that they do not share, but they are happy and content. Is that a gift form the Lord or just a false assurance?

As another person said, we do not know only God knows the answer. I have not figured anything out regarding the topic of this thread I stared, I have however found that people can be very harsh and legalistic. Thankfully there also those who practice the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians we read about...love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control.

I truly love the Lord and want to please Him.

 

[jwebhead]

Those who have PM me I thank you and greatly appreciate the help and compassion.

 

[Sketcher]

Not really, and I don't propose to judge a persons salvation, but I know that a person can forfeit blessings in life by unrepentance and living sinfully - sowing and reaping. A penalty, a price comes with sin. Legalizing that verse binds woman to abusers that offer lip service about being Christians or to unblievers that wish to ruin a persons life with beatings and stick around as tyrant. The woman sanctifies the husband who is an unbeliever. If he chooses to leave that sanctification, the dwelling in that sanctification is what he left - not the house. Actually, what business has darkness with light, as the scripture tells us about the unequally yoked, and what compromises would have to take place for a marriage between light and darkness? Actually, Ezra and Nehemiah had the right idea about this, there is no compromise. Darkness will never and cannot dwell at the level of a believer.

Paul is very specific in these verses, and even if you're going to go with the unbeliever leaving, it is the unbeliever who has to leave- he warns believers not to leave their unbelieving spouses under any circumstance. If Scripture provided any more avenues for divorce, then I would defend them just as fiercely, but it does not.

And if we are not Israel, then who is? All things said to Israel pertain to us today. God doesn't put together marriages between unbelievers and believers. Fact.

"To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him." - 1 Cor 7:12, 13

Leviticus 5:4 "‘Or if a person thoughtlessly takes an oath to do anything, whether good or evil—in any matter one might carelessly swear about—even though he is unaware of it, in any case when he learns of it he will be guilty. 5 "‘When anyone is guilty in any of these ways, he must confess in what way he has sinned 6 and, as a penalty for the sin he has committed, he must bring to the LORD a female lamb or goat from the flock as a sin offering; and the priest shall make atonement for him for his sin.

Point being, how much greater the sacrifice Jesus has given us.

Guilty of taking a reckless vow, or guilty of breaking a vow that he made in the past but forgot about?

Judges 11:30-39 is a sad story about how Jephthah made a reckless vow and had to fulfill it. He even had two months to see if there was any way out of it. Surely if he could have gone to the priest and explained himself, he could have sacrificed the lamb or goat rather than his only daughter. I certainly would have.

"If you make a vow to the LORD your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the LORD your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin. But if you refrain from making a vow, you will not be guilty. Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth." - Deuteronomy 23:21-23

"marital unfaithfulness" - you said it, what all does that entail? What constitutes faithfulness between true believers?

Adultery. Did a word study, and the Greek word is porneia. Jesus was being very literal here.

 

[TheMainException]

This really is a tough one. I have no biblical advice to give, only the advice that I feel I should give. I think that you should go back to your first husband and try to make things work. And not leave him again unless he does truly hurt you in an abusive manner. If not, keep working at it, look to God more and seek him together in prayer.

 

[jwebhead]

I realize I am not the brightest crayon in the box so I am to understand those of you who are telling me biblically I need to go back and be with my 1st husband...
the vow, oath, promise I made to my present husband has no value what so ever? Having 2 divorces under my belt does not matter?

Is it that simple?

 

[jwebhead]

Well, as it seems enough has been said to me...I have made the decision that I feel I need to. I know some of the topics stir up a fire and frustation as well as encouragement and enlightenment so I will thank you all for your opinions and advice.