Divorced in 3 months time

[Phanuel]

If nothing right happens, I'll be officially divorced in less than 3 months.
My husband has filed for divorce and we have been separated for 4 years.

I used to think that it is not God's will for us to be divorced, but I think it has been my thinking all along, not God's. My husband has never been faithful to me and my in-laws never approved our marriage. I married him because I thought he loved me and our son. All along he has been pushing the blame to his parents saying that they didn't want him to see me and his son. My in-laws who were also my church pastors have been asking me to send my son up for adoption since my pregnancy. They didn't want their reputation to be ruined by my pregnancy. So when my husband married me, they were against it and wanted us to divorce each other so that nobody will know about our marriage. My father-in-law even asked a few other pastors to persuade me to divorce my husband.

For years I've been praying for God to restore my marriage, and that God will change my husband's heart and that he will return to us. Our child missed his dad and longed to see him but my husband refused to see him. For the past 7 years my husband has only seen his son for less than 5 times. God didn't answer my prayers, my husband didn't drop the divorce even when I pleaded with him. I have heard too many people saying that God will heal wounds and that He will restore marriage etc, but I don't think that is the case for me. Maybe God didn't answer my prayers because He wants me to be divorced.
Should I stop praying for reconciliation and go with God's will?

 

[tgc2006]

hugs to you, hon. I'm so sorry. I know--either personally or via friends--quite a few couples either in the process of divorce or already divorced who were restored. I know for a fact it happens. but I'm in the same boat as you in terms of wondering if maybe it's just not meant to happen for my marriage. I'm trying to let it go: my hopes, my expectations, all of it. I'm trying to surrender all of my wants to God, and asking Him to change my heart to want whatever it is He has in store for me. it's hard; I'm heartsick over everything that's happened. so I'm just trying to let it all go and embrace my life as it is, one step at a time, instead of how I wish it could be. I'll be praying for you.

 

[saturnnights]

Should I stop praying for reconciliation and go with God's will?

Keep praying for the desire of your heart (reconciliation), but know that God's will will be done and be ready to accept it. He may not want reconciliation or it may come in some way other than what you're expecting. Pray until the day the divorce is finalized. If it is, then alter your prayers accordingly and ask for strength, wisdom and mercy for you and your child and know that God will provide.

Sounds easy when I say it, but I have lived through the same struggles and know that it's not. May God have mercy on you and bless you...

 

[Phanuel]

Thank you. I felt peace after reading the replies. Knowing that someone do care is encouraging & I appreciate it. Thanks again. God bless.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Phanuel,
Sorry you have had to go thru this heartache. I don't know why ministers have so many problems accepting people when the whole message of the Bible is that God accepts people.
I'm with the others, pray for your husband's heart to be turned toward you and his child till the divorce. Then shake the dust off your feet and ask God to find you the life you desire. I'd say go get it as God strengthens you.

 

[Meadows1024]

I am praying for you sweetie. I am so sorry these 'pastors' treated you this way! Certainly find a new church, and good riddance to them! Infidelity is most indefinably a reason to divorce. If fact, that's the only reason God lists as being o.k. Raise your head up and take care of your son. Your son doesn't need them in his life.

 

[Christian SN]

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