Divorced: Age you married?

[gracefaith]

I am intrigued by Sascha's non-scientific poll.

Christians, by and large, do marry younger than their secular conterparts. Statistics show, however, that the divorce rate drops in half for first marriages made AFTER the age of 28. I'm curious to see what significant correlation, if any, there might be between youth and divorce among Christians.

 

[Redguard]

I'm not divorced or anything...

But in today's world, I 'generally' tend to think that people who marry before 20 are driven to do so by hormones or infatuation, and not necessarily a true understanding of what marriage entails.

But it's not my intention to paint all young marrieds with the same coloured brush.

 

[Cordy]

I'm not divorced or anything...

But in today's world, I 'generally' tend to think that people who marry before 20 are driven to do so by hormones or infatuation, and not necessarily a true understanding of what marriage entails.

But it's not my intention to paint all young marrieds with the same coloured brush.

I agree.

 

[Redguard]

Back in the 60s, I know it was more of the norm that people got married in their teens.

Today's young adults have a completely different mindset.

 

[LegacyOfLove]

Well, I was 18 when I married the first time. And for me, it was because I had just had our baby and we were pressured to "do the right thing." Ours was a difficult and abusive situation to begin with and that didn't help things out any. I know of others who married young and are still together. In fact....my parents were 19 (him) and 20 (her) when they married and are still together (since 1969). My dad's parents married at the age of 19 (both of them) and stayed married until she passed away last year! So, maturity is not necessarily attached to a number. There are people who are 18 who are more "ready" for marriage than some 40 year olds that I know!

I wonder too...is this an American issue only? Because back in Biblical times, people married young (look at Mary...just 13!). And in *some* other countries, people still marry young...if they don't have the high divorce rates that Americans do..then could it have something more to do with *HOW* they are being raised or what values are taught to them and responsibilities given at a younger age?....Just a thought!

 

[Redguard]

Well, as I mentioned in my previous post, it was far more reasonable to marry young back in the 60s.

Take a 19 year old from the 60s and size them up with a 19 year old from 2004 and you're looking at two completely different brains.

 

[PerfectPaisley]

I was 18 when I first got married, but I left home and moved in with him at age 16 and he was 18. The marriage lasted 8 years. He cheated on me with someone he worked with. I have really not been the same since then. Although I am remarried and have been so for almost 14 years. I don't think I ever got over it or him in many ways. Sometimes I feel as though I wasted all of my youth on him although my decision.

 

[FaithAlone]

My mother, two sisters and I were all married between 18 and 20 years old. I was the oldest and none of us have gotten a divorce. One of my sister's husbands did cheat on her though and I almost wish that she had. I think the key for us is the example that my parents set. They made a ton of mistakes while raising us, but they also showed us an awesome example of a biblical marriage of my mom letting my dad be the head(most of the time ) and never letting divorce be an option even through tough situations. Now I'm not saying that divorce is wrong if one spouse cheats on the other or is abusive, but we realized that marriage is serious and that just because my husband and I might disagree or get into some pretty stupid arguments does not mean that we don't love each other. People just see things a lot more short term than they used to. Of course I've only been married for a year and a half so what do I know?

 

[Melbelle]

My Dad was 19 and my mom was 20 when they got married, knew each other for 2 weeks got married and been married almost 26yrs.

 

[Jennifer615]

Although I was 26 when I married the 1st time, I think I was getting a bit desperate and settled for less. I had been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years and had been engaged, but this ended (he later came out of the closet, saying he was gay), and all my friends were married, and I was worried about being left on the shelf. My self-esteme was at an all time low, and my ex came along and gave me just enough affection to keep me wanting. We married after 3 months, and it lasted 6 years.

My advice to anyone contemplating marriage would be to love and respect themselves first and know exactly what they want and need in a life partner and don't settle for less.