Divorce

[AdrianAvzqz]

What does God really say about divorce?? What is really in the bible about divorce

 

[LinkH]

What does God really say about divorce?? What is really in the bible about divorce

Matthew 19

9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


Paul relayed the Lord's commandments in I Corinthians 7
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

 

[sdowney717]

Mark 10
10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.

11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.

12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Marriage Is Sacred and Binding

31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

Guess what, Jesus says divorce allowable only for sexual immorality like adultery.
Then Jesus says RE MARRIAGE, marry again you commit adultery.

That is why Paul said if you separate, then remain single, unmarried. There was never any remarriage green light from Jesus or Paul.

Many many many people ignore or reject Jesus and Paul's words on the matter. The text is clearly written. Those who remarry commit adultery.
You can twist and writhe and try to justify this. Typically those that do remarry saying they are a follower of Christ claim spousal abandonment so they are free to do what they want again.

It is why the Catholic church simply annuls the marriage so it was like it never happened. Which is just another false and crooked way of men they practice.

 

[foundthecure]

if you're being abused.. you're stupid to stay.

 

[Hetta]

What does God really say about divorce?? What is really in the bible about divorce

The Bible says a great deal about divorce, but much of it can be interpreted in any number of ways.

 

[dayhiker]

Divorce is perhaps the best example of how one's method of interpretation effects how one is going to understand what Jesus and is saying the topic.

The 1st time I studied this topic, I found two ways people interpreted divorce and remarriage. Both ways seems to have a conflict with one verse and both ways seemed to not have the compassion I read Jesus had in every other situation when deal with sin. So I ignored the topic as I can't make it make sense.

The second time I studied divorce I hermeneutics (study of interpretation) in college and I found a book by a guy who did he PHD in Jewish literature of the 1st century. There happened to be a very specific debate going on among the Jews about divorce when they asked Jesus what he thought. In that context all the verses finally made sense to me.

 

[BigDaddy4]

What does God really say about divorce?? What is really in the bible about divorce

Check out this thread: http://www.christianforums.com/t7709685/

Unfortunately, modern day translations confuse the topic. There are two distinct words used for divorce in both the Old and New Testament. A couple of posters have given you the typical quotes, but don't tell you the two words used for "divorce" are different depending on the context.

There is a "putting away" or seperation and a "certificate of divorce" - the actual paperwork. What God hates is seperating without completing the divorce paperwork. That's also when remarriage is considered a sin.

I like www.blueletterbible.com because it shows the original text as well as the contextual useage. There are other dictionaries.

God even divorced his chosen Israel. Jeremiah 3:8 "I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries...."

Study it yourself and come to your own conclusion. Don't be afraid if you realize it's not the popular train of thought.

 

[dayhiker]

Just so you know what the divorce paperwork said in Jesus' day. "You are free to marry any man." Some said Jewish man. Jesus never gave instructions to change the legal paperwork, nor have archeologist found any.

 

[filoco]

Immorality would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.

 

[dayhiker]

Yes, immorality was the topic of debate in Jesus' day, but it was never the only reason for divorce till people took Jesus' comments out of there historical context.

 

[ValleyGal]

I think God's example of divorcing Israel is telling. Divorce in and of itself is not sin, otherwise God would not have done it. The reason behind the divorce may or may not be sin. Sometimes people get divorced for big sins like adultery. There are other reasons people can divorce that are also sins. For example, I learned a couple of years ago that it is sin for a spouse to withdraw from the other spouse. Division in the home is sin. Sin in the home - big and small - can lead to a hard heart, which I believe is why the Jewish OT law allowed for divorce for hard hearts.

Truthfully, though, there is nowhere in the Bible that talks about divorce being sin. There is nowhere in the Bible that states that divorce is only allowable for one type of sin and not others. What the Bible does say is to live holy. He teaches us what Christians are supposed to live like and what spouses are supposed to live like. To summarize what the Bible says on marriage, it is to treat each other like brother and sister in Christ, to honour one another above yourselves, to love the Lord God, each other, and yourselves. If we do these things in marriage, there will be no need for divorce. Divorce is unfortunate and it hurts not only the couple but also their extended families and all their friends/community. But it is not sin.

 

[dayhiker]

I agree ValleyGal, divorce isn't a sin.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Its interesting because someone earlier said its all about interpretation. Which seems to be the case since I am seeing some really wild interpretations. With that said mine is that God does not believe in divorce. To Him it means forever. I don't believe Paul (was it paul?) was talking to us and saying "Adultery is cause to divorce!".

In my bible studies it sounds like his words were meant to get across the point that the people talking to him at the time kept coming back and looking for a reason to leave their spouse. So he gave them a reason just to show a point that people will look for any reason they can to divorce. He wasn't saying "Yes, to you readers I am giving you the same reason!".

As for it being a sin. I believe it likely is. After all the ramifications of it lead to sin. So its hard to believe its not a sin to do something that leads to sin essentially. However as with many issues we christians face we tend to say somethings not a sin if we don't want to accept it is because its not listed in the bible.

Example playing video games is not listed as a sin. Yet others claim it is. But because the bible doesn't say it word for word people will claim it is not then so they themselves don't have to accept it is. BTW not saying it is or isn't since thats more of a complex issue. I will say if you don't initiate the divorce then obviously its not a sin for you since you didn't want one.

In the end it doesn't matter what I say or what anyone else says. We have to determine what we think of the subject and answer to God when the time comes whether we are right or wrong. Which is why I don't talk past my initial response to much since these are merely words on a website that are not forced upon a person. And I cannot claim to be right or wrong.

 

[dayhiker]

The reason I say divorce isn't a sin is 1st of all because God divorced Israel. 2nd the Bible doesn't say it is a sin.

Now almost any action can be a sin, done with the wrong motives, praying to be seen by men and not to be heard by God for example. Divorces that are designed to hurt the other spouse and the children involved, etc are clearly a sin as far as I'm concern.

Most divorces are because the couple has already sinned against the other to the point that they are so hurt that they can't love each other any more except God change their heart. Which God does sometimes, but seems more often than not doesn't do these days. So the couple needs to deal with those sins that caused the divorce more than deal with the divorce.

Some Christians just say forgive and get on with life. Heck, I said that for decades. But as I know people more deeply, its clear to me that there are pains and hurts so deep in their body, soul and spirit that even after forgiving they aren't going to be able to love and live with their ex spouse again unless there is a healing that is way deeper in both spouses. Very few people in the church know who to minister at that level. Including me. But at least I've finally learned that pain is there, I was totally blind to it till the last few years.

 

[RDKirk]

I think God's example of divorcing Israel is telling. Divorce in and of itself is not sin, otherwise God would not have done it. The reason behind the divorce may or may not be sin. Sometimes people get divorced for big sins like adultery. There are other reasons people can divorce that are also sins. For example, I learned a couple of years ago that it is sin for a spouse to withdraw from the other spouse. Division in the home is sin. Sin in the home - big and small - can lead to a hard heart, which I believe is why the Jewish OT law allowed for divorce for hard hearts.

Truthfully, though, there is nowhere in the Bible that talks about divorce being sin. There is nowhere in the Bible that states that divorce is only allowable for one type of sin and not others. What the Bible does say is to live holy. He teaches us what Christians are supposed to live like and what spouses are supposed to live like. To summarize what the Bible says on marriage, it is to treat each other like brother and sister in Christ, to honour one another above yourselves, to love the Lord God, each other, and yourselves. If we do these things in marriage, there will be no need for divorce. Divorce is unfortunate and it hurts not only the couple but also their extended families and all their friends/community. But it is not sin.

I think I agree with you, but I'd clarify something.

If there is a legal (under God) divorce, there is sin on someone's part. There is no sin-free divorce. God did create the marriage bond to be permanent, and it can only be broken through sin on one part or the other or both.

Someone is wrong, and Jesus knows who that someone is. That's the reason He uses the "causes her to commit adultery" language. Under God's perfect and absolute law, yes, the woman technically commited adultery...but Jesus knows who to blame.

That basically does mean that if both spouses are operating completely by the lead of the Holy Spirit, they would not divorce. It means that a Spirit-led Christian would never desire divorce--that is, would not see divorce as the outcome of choice.

But Jesus understands we are struggling in a fallen world, and He actually establishes a principle: In this fallen world, God authorizes responses that are not actually righteous--that is, not "as it was in the beginning."

Examples:

In the beginning, all animals were vegetarian. After the fall, some animals became predators. It's not righteous, but it's authorized in this fallen world.

In the beginning, there were no governments or kings, men and women communed directly with God. After the fall, there was chaos (noted in Judges) leading God to authorize kings with the authority to kill to maintain order. It's not righteous to kill, but it's authorized in this fallen world.

In the same way, God intended marriage to be life-long. But in this fallen world, He authorizes divorce because of the hardness of men's hearts. It's not righteous, but it's authorized.

I keep repeating "it's not righteous" to emphasize the point that as Spirit-led Christians, our aim and desire is not to do that which is merely authorized and feel righteous.

So, say, the king must execute a vicious criminal. Is it authorized? Yes. Should we feel righteous about it? No. Jesus does not watch an execution with a smile on His face.

The same with divorce--authorized but not righteous. Even in the case of adultery, divorce would be authorized but not righteous. Jesus would want repentence on one part and forgiveness on the other as the better way.

 

[ValleyGal]

RDKirk, I do agree with you for the most part here, but I am also aware of some divorces where there was no real "sin" taking place - I know several who divorced due to uncontrolled mental illness, one due to a personality disorder, and a few who divorced as a mutual agreement so each could pursue their interests - some might see this is the sin of selfishness, but they still cared deeply for each other. One man actually divorced his wife because she wanted to go traveling, and he would have held her back, so he let her go. My first divorce was not because of sin or hard hearts so much as it was because my husband did not want to parent our son. I was told I could not have children, so it was just supposed to be the two of us forever....but that changed, and I would not abort our child. So the husband ran away from home when our son was only a few months old and has never known him. This is why I say sometimes it might not be sin....although I do agree that far more often, it is sin which causes the breakdown.