- Dec 19, 2012
- 5,775
- 1,823
- Country
- Canada
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Anabaptist
- Marital Status
- Divorced
Divorce hurts.....even a lifetime after it happens.
I was with my first husband more than 6 years before he ran away from home. He did not want the responsibility of our son.
I was friends with him and his first wife. I lived with them for a couple of years, mostly to keep her company when he was out of town. Their son was the first child I ever loved. I taught him to count, to tie his shoes and to pray. Then she confided that their son was not really his, and she was pregnant with another child - full blooded sibling to the son my husband thought was his. I could not get tangled up in their marriage, so I moved out. Months later, he called me and we eventually started seeing each other.
Together we fought to get visitation with his son (he was legally the father). His ex did not cooperate with our rights, and she was arrested on several occasions for it. I had our son when my stepson was 9, and my husband ran away from home a couple of months later.
I never saw my stepson again, and his mom died a couple of years later. I grieved and eventually moved on. I have thought about my stepson frequently over the years, and today when I was doing some spring cleaning, I came across some pictures of him. Even though I have looked for him on the computer before, I decided to try again, and this time, there was a picture of him! He is 29 years old now, and I wonder if he has children, where he lives, and what his life has been like the last 20 years.
Seeing his picture, brought back so much....and I am furious with my ex husband for leaving. He left his first, he left his second, and then went on to have three or four more. When his first wife died, I told my ex that he should go and fight for his son. He refused, and he has refused to have anything to do with our son, too. It absolutely breaks my heart that these boys were abandoned, that I had no rights as a step parent, and that irresponsibility and divorce can have such a detrimental effect, even 20 years after the fact.
I have no regrets about my current life, but it seems so far removed from my previous life. I wonder how it would have turned out had my ex not run away from home, had been responsible with his children. I feel like it was not my life, that I have lived two lifetimes.
Divorce sucks and its effects are devastating. Honestly, make your marriage work if you can, especially if you have children.
I miss my stepson and wish I could be in touch with him, even after 20 years.
I was with my first husband more than 6 years before he ran away from home. He did not want the responsibility of our son.
I was friends with him and his first wife. I lived with them for a couple of years, mostly to keep her company when he was out of town. Their son was the first child I ever loved. I taught him to count, to tie his shoes and to pray. Then she confided that their son was not really his, and she was pregnant with another child - full blooded sibling to the son my husband thought was his. I could not get tangled up in their marriage, so I moved out. Months later, he called me and we eventually started seeing each other.
Together we fought to get visitation with his son (he was legally the father). His ex did not cooperate with our rights, and she was arrested on several occasions for it. I had our son when my stepson was 9, and my husband ran away from home a couple of months later.
I never saw my stepson again, and his mom died a couple of years later. I grieved and eventually moved on. I have thought about my stepson frequently over the years, and today when I was doing some spring cleaning, I came across some pictures of him. Even though I have looked for him on the computer before, I decided to try again, and this time, there was a picture of him! He is 29 years old now, and I wonder if he has children, where he lives, and what his life has been like the last 20 years.
Seeing his picture, brought back so much....and I am furious with my ex husband for leaving. He left his first, he left his second, and then went on to have three or four more. When his first wife died, I told my ex that he should go and fight for his son. He refused, and he has refused to have anything to do with our son, too. It absolutely breaks my heart that these boys were abandoned, that I had no rights as a step parent, and that irresponsibility and divorce can have such a detrimental effect, even 20 years after the fact.
I have no regrets about my current life, but it seems so far removed from my previous life. I wonder how it would have turned out had my ex not run away from home, had been responsible with his children. I feel like it was not my life, that I have lived two lifetimes.
Divorce sucks and its effects are devastating. Honestly, make your marriage work if you can, especially if you have children.
I miss my stepson and wish I could be in touch with him, even after 20 years.
