Divorce? Destined to Hell?

[Kadams7701]

I wanted to get people's opinion on Divorce in the AOG and COG churches. I was married for 9 years, we had one child, my son Gabriel. I got custody of our son, single full-time father. My ex was unfaithful, a horrible mother, and was not a Christian, she had turned her ear away from call of the Lord.

I attended a COG church in east TN for several years, but was never allowed to be a member. The pastor said marriage is forever, God does not allow divorce, and any woman you are with other than the woman you married, you are committing adultery. I have been divorced for 4 1/2 years, and can NEVER remarry or date another woman ever again, this he claimed to be gospel. He said that the only way I can make heaven is to never be involved with another women ever, there is not such thing as remarried. The is very hard for me, I will be 36yrs old on less than a month, I still feel like I have a lot more happiness I can share with someone.

What is your take on this?

 

[kspchemist]

I'm probably in the minority on this, but I agree totally with your pastor. I have heard of couples actually getting back together AFTER the divorce. I was going through a rough patch with my wife and we were looking at divorce. I was making preparations to be single the rest of my life. Against the wishes of my parents family everyone. 7 years later my wife and I are still together and doing well.

I do feel your pain and will be praying for you.

 

[rgleason]

I wanted to get people's opinion on Divorce in the AOG and COG churches. I was married for 9 years, we had one child, my son Gabriel. I got custody of our son, single full-time father. My ex was unfaithful, a horrible mother, and was not a Christian, she had turned her ear away from call of the Lord.

I attended a COG church in east TN for several years, but was never allowed to be a member. The pastor said marriage is forever, God does not allow divorce, and any woman you are with other than the woman you married, you are committing adultery. I have been divorced for 4 1/2 years, and can NEVER remarry or date another woman ever again, this he claimed to be gospel. He said that the only way I can make heaven is to never be involved with another women ever, there is not such thing as remarried. The is very hard for me, I will be 36yrs old on less than a month, I still feel like I have a lot more happiness I can share with someone.

What is your take on this?

Find a church that believes in the Bible and what the Lord Jesus Christ taught. I should think you would have read it by now?
I stayed married to a man who was an alcoholic and a pervert for 18 years because of the false teaching of the AOG.

Matthew 19:9
"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Now, use some common sense here:
1 Corinthians 7:
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. (Believed to be divorced by many theologians) 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 To the married (Christians) I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. (Except where sexual immorality exists) 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Roberta

 

[Kadams7701]

I can never get back with my ex wife, she would be arrested for even being on the same street as where my son is. She got involved with a very evil person when we were married, he took control of her, and hurt my son. Even my pastor agreed, my ex and her what ever he is does not need to be around my son. I have seen a lot of perversion in churches, people having affairs with other members, one even had a child by a member while married to her husband that was also a member of the church. This is does not happen once, but over and over. Did the church ask them to leave, remove there membership, no they were married, to other people, but still married. This is where I have a problem, I divorced, have not lived with a woman, never cross the line that would cause me to sin, but still destined for hell if I ever remarry.

I did everything I could, my pastor a 20+yr marriage consoler even said he had not seen a husband try any harder than me. I really gave it my all, but after the abuse with my son, that was it.

 

[kspchemist]

BTW your situation is similar to that of my mother-in-law. As long you remain unmarried there is hope for your son that you and your wife will get back together. Also, look at Hosea. He bought Gomer back after she cheated on him and became a harlot. Be prayerful in your decision. Again I am praying.

 

[Juelrei]

I wanted to get people's opinion on Divorce in the AOG and COG churches. I was married for 9 years, we had one child, my son Gabriel. I got custody of our son, single full-time father. My ex was unfaithful, a horrible mother, and was not a Christian, she had turned her ear away from call of the Lord.

I attended a COG church in east TN for several years, but was never allowed to be a member. The pastor said marriage is forever, God does not allow divorce, and any woman you are with other than the woman you married, you are committing adultery. I have been divorced for 4 1/2 years, and can NEVER remarry or date another woman ever again, this he claimed to be gospel. He said that the only way I can make heaven is to never be involved with another women ever, there is not such thing as remarried. The is very hard for me, I will be 36yrs old on less than a month, I still feel like I have a lot more happiness I can share with someone.

What is your take on this?

I come from a Methodist background, And AoG.

So many Christians misunderstand the topic of divorce. The new testament believers are not under law, but grace. That preacher spoke law to you. Not even God's law, but man's law. Such law condemns the victim of an unfaithful wife to being single when he's got a child to raise who needs a mother. And, you are still young enough to need a wife.
Such man's law even tells you that you can't get in to heaven if you remarry.
You're saved now aren't you? So under God's grace, remarrying will not unsave you.

Even with the law- Under Moses, divorce was allowed because of their hardness of heart. Your wife has/d hardness. And, you are under grace. Therefore you need not remain unmarried. You are not unfaithful in the marriage relationship, she was.
Why should you and your child be punished for the unfaithfulness of your wife?

Since you say that she has turned away from God, then she is dead to you. When a spouse is 'dead', the other can remarry.

There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

Anyway that I look at it, you are free to remarry. Regardless of what some Christians say and how they interpret scripture.

 

[stormdancer0]

I just have to chime in. I am divorced and remarried. The Church of God recognizes a few Biblical reasons for divorce. One is unfaithfulness, and one is being married to an unbeliever and the unbelieving spouse leaves.

My ex was abusive towards our 18 month old son. My son was 6 weeks old the first time his father hit him. In the head.

Anyone who would tell me that it was God's will that I stay married to a child abuser is out of his mind.

Not only is the church okay with my divorce and remarriage, but under those very circumstances they ordained me as a minister.

Don't let anyone here tell you it's wrong for you to protect your son. A child's safety will ALWAYS be more important than a piece of paper.

The Bible limits divorce because there were so many women being forced into prostitution because they had no other option. Men would present their wives with a piece of paper and kick them out. No man wanted to marry a divorced woman at that time, and if the woman wanted to eat, she would be forced into prostitution.

You are not destined to Hell. Even if, for some reason, protecting your son from your insane ex wife was a sin, we are all sinners, and all a believer's sin is forgiven.

 

[sdowney717]

No your not destined for hell if you remarry while your ex is still living.

The command still stands as no remarriage unless other partner has died, and if you do, you commit adultery. You can't wash that away by re interpreting scripture.

Jesus said it is adultery after remarriage, Jesus only allowed divorce separation, no remarriage, Paul says the exact same thing. your just reading what you want into the text.


1 cor 7 is clear

39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.

WOW!!!
AND. note command from the LORD not Paul, he writes this

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

now the one they like to use to justify their actions to men and God and nullify all the others is in v15
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

Wow not under bondage, suddenly free to marry again! NO, the text is simply saying let then separate, the wife does NOT have to go with the unbelieving husband and vice versa.

 

[sdowney717]

Matthew 19
9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Break this down as Jesus says in 2 parts.

1. Divorce is only permitted for sexual immorality

2. divorced man who marries again commits adultery and whoever marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Separation-divorce is all that He authorized. If your saying something other than that, then you generate a conflict with what Paul has also written. God is not the author of confusion!

Paul said the command came from the Lord regarding remarriage. If your following the teachings of a church that teaches something else, you have been deceived and you have also become a victim.

Likely to be very unpopular, but truth tends to get in the way, roadblock, do not pass go, for those who want the freedom to just do whatever they wish, popular teachings deceive the many. And many accept remarriage contrary to the narrow way.

 

[dayhiker]

Kadams,
Welcome to CF.
There are 3 major ways of interpreting the verses on divorce that I know of. I'd recommend that you study them so you know what you believe. Till you know what you believe and an answer those that would put you into bondage your going to feel like God has a limited love for you.
But the 1st command is to love God and then 2nd is to love people. Would God make a law that leads you to no love?
It might also help you to know what the divorce certificate says in Jesus' day. The man wrote to his wife, "You are free to remarry any man." Jesus never instructed those divorcing to write anything different. All Jews in Jesus' day understood that one could remarry after a divorce.

 

[sdowney717]

Kadams,
All Jews in Jesus' day understood that one could remarry after a divorce.

Well then you do recall how Jesus CONDEMNED their traditions?
Over and over, Jesus dealt with them.
Saying that their traditions of men are not godly or of God.

So then you keep looking for excuses to not obey the commandment as Paul says

1 cor 7
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

By your own words you prefer the word and traditions of men over what the Lord commanded, there is no ambiguity here in the text.

 

[SayaOtonashi]

NO for God doesn't hate Divorce he hates putting away.

http://www.brutallyhonest.org/bruta...sconceptions About Divorce and Remarriage.pdf

 

[SayaOtonashi]

Deut the man divorce his wife allowing her to remarry

 

[SayaOtonashi]

A LIBERATING VIEW OF DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

Shalach is what God was talking about for the putting away not divorce.

 

[SayaOtonashi]

A LIBERATING VIEW OF DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

MAry was not married when she was prenant with Jesus. SO she was put away not divorce. Has many had translated the word. The Hebrew word for Divorce and Put away are not the same and can't be interchanged.

Total Health -- Divorce and Remarriage: “Put Away” Versus Divorce

Paul also states in N.T if you have a wife don't seek to be loose if you are loose seek not a wife but if you seek a wife you have not sin. This is talking of of divorce.

 

[SayaOtonashi]

Total Health -- Divorce and Remarriage: Ezra vs. Malachi on MDR

What about Deut, clearly this man divorce his wife. It wasn't for adultery for the word was not used.

The Law of the Husband

 

[SayaOtonashi]

God divorce Israel. Also, this is not true for a husband couldn't tale back his wife after she remarried another man. So, you can't said divorce is a sin because clearly it's written that a man can't remarry his ex.

 

[sdowney717]

God divorce Israel. Also, this is not true for a husband couldn't tale back his wife after she remarried another man. So, you can't said divorce is a sin because clearly it's written that a man can't remarry his ex.

People will say anything to get around this particular commandment of Christ.

But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

It is remarriage that was definitely not allowed. Any obfuscations are not in the word of the Lord in the NT, as Paul clearly says, this command comes from Jesus Christ Himself, so take up the issue with Him.

 

[stormdancer0]

I just want to kick this into the mix.

IF it is sin to divorce and remarry - and I'm not saying it is - we are forgiven by the sacrifice of our Lord.

So in any case, it does not mean a believer is going to hell. Period.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I wanted to get people's opinion on Divorce in the AOG and COG churches. I was married for 9 years, we had one child, my son Gabriel. I got custody of our son, single full-time father. My ex was unfaithful, a horrible mother, and was not a Christian, she had turned her ear away from call of the Lord.

I attended a COG church in east TN for several years, but was never allowed to be a member. The pastor said marriage is forever, God does not allow divorce, and any woman you are with other than the woman you married, you are committing adultery. I have been divorced for 4 1/2 years, and can NEVER remarry or date another woman ever again, this he claimed to be gospel. He said that the only way I can make heaven is to never be involved with another women ever, there is not such thing as remarried. The is very hard for me, I will be 36yrs old on less than a month, I still feel like I have a lot more happiness I can share with someone.

What is your take on this?

Divorce and remarriage are not the unforgiveable sins. Attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to the devil is.

When a person accepts Christ as Saviour, they are totally and permanently saved through the grace of God.

We are released from the guilt, curse, and punishment of the law. Jesus kept the law for us and became our substitute. We are never able to keep the law fully no matter how hard we try. God does not expect us to. He does not evaluate us by performance, good or bad. He sees us through the righteousness of Christ.

We keep the law though, not to seek approval from God or anyone else, but out of gratitude and love for God, and also because we have reverence for Him and do not want to do anything that would dishonour His name. But our consciousness that we always fail to keep the law drives us to Christ, and that is the purpose for which God keeps holding up before us the requirement to live holy lives. We do not try to keep the law in our own strength and ability and effort, but we run to Christ, confess our failure and sin, and the Holy Spirit works in us to sanctify us more and more each day.

Therefore, through the grace of God, we are members of the Body of Christ, the true Church. Divorce and remarriage is one general failure of people, even Christian people to maintain God's perfect standard, but God views divorced and remarried Christians through the eyes of His grace and the righteousness of Christ which He has bestowed on us.

A church that denies members for divorced and remarried Christians, should disqualify every member because one sin is no better or worse than another. Legalism is not the desire to keep the law. it is making keeping the law a requirement for church membership or being part of the leadership of a church. Paul put a curse on those who imposed requirements on the Galatian church. Church leaderships who put legal requirements on Christians to gain their approval should take close notice of that. Because there is a curse on those who take away the freedom of believers to be members of the church and to worship the Lord in freedom by requiring them to do things to please men rather than God.

I believe that a church that denies membership to believers for situations that do not meet with their approval, is denying that believers are clothed with the righteousness of Christ and are expecting believers to keep their "rules" by self effort. They are inducing believers to be self-righteous. The leaders of these churches are in the bondage and self righteousness and pride.

This makes that church a synagogue of Satan and not a true part of the Body of Christ.

Separate yourselves from that evil place and find a fellowship that honours God and is treating believers in accordance with God's Word.