"Divorce and Separation" Repost Edited

[Christsfreeservant]

This is a repost of something that was written and posted in June of this year, but I have added some things to it and have done some editing.

Matthew 19:3-6 ESV

“And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate’.”​

Definitions of words related to divorce and separation:

Divorce – disconnect, distance, detach; separate or dissociate (something) from something else. Separate – single, unconnected, independent, divide. Also, a legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.

Adultery - The voluntary sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than the offender's spouse; marital infidelity. Infidelity – unfaithfulness, disloyalty, betrayal, cheating. Adulterate – “to render something poorer in quality by adding another substance.”

Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28 ESV).​

​

“Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh’” (1 Corinthians 6:16 ESV).​

Putting it All Together

Now I want to put that all together. Yes, a divorce, in legal terms, is the dissolution of a marriage. But it also means to separate, as is evident in this passage in Matthew 19. So, instead of the two people (husband and wife) becoming one flesh, they are separated. They are no longer one flesh, but two, if they even ever became one flesh at all. For some people cheat on their spouses while they are still in the engagement period before the wedding, and so they are already one flesh with another.

So, if one spouse or the other was never faithful to the other, but continually committed adultery against the other, then the one committing the adultery joined flesh to flesh with others, either in mind only and/or in actual physical relations. So that person never became one flesh with the other spouse. Or, if at some point in the marriage one or the other joined sexually in person and/or in mind only with another, then the offending spouse became one flesh with another.

Now, you may think this is a stretch, but please pay attention to the meanings of these words. For to separate is not just a physical parting of one spouse to another location separate from the other. If one spouse is continually living in adultery against the other, that spouse is living in separation from the other. The offending spouse is not one flesh with the other because he/she is joined together with so many others (or just with one other, or with oneself).

For, as Jesus pointed out, adultery is not just physical, but it is also mental as well as it is a heart issue. For Jesus stated that the adultery took place in the heart. And so the heart needs to be cleansed and changed. And adultery can be spiritual, too, for Jesus and the apostles spoke of the church or individual Christians living in adultery against the Lord. And what did they do to be in adultery against the Lord? They were unfaithful to their marriage to Christ and they went after other gods to serve them. That says a lot.

For, becoming "one flesh" is not just about a sexual union. If we become one with our spouse (and/or with God), we are united in heart and mind with the other. Now, in relation to husband and wife, this does not mean that the two will be like the same person. They will each be who they are individually, and they aren't going to think alike in all areas, either, but they are to work together to be united together in heart and mind, and to not work against the other unless the other is living in sin. We cannot unite with sin.

When one spouse decides to separate from the other by committing adultery (which includes all ways which involve lusting after another, even after one's own self), then that breaks that bond of marriage in two. It is separating from the other spouse in body, mind, and heart, and it is joining to another in body, mind, and/or heart. And then when you add lies on top of that, and willful deception, and hiding what one is doing in secret from the other, that again is separating from one's spouse and being joined to another.

So, you and your spouse may still be legally joined together as husband and wife but you may be living as separate individuals because one or the other or both are living in betrayal and adultery against the other. And the only way that the marriage is going to be restored is if the unfaithful spouse comes totally clean and refuses to return to the adulterous ways and chooses now to be totally faithful and committed to the neglected spouse. For you can’t live in sexual immorality and not break the bonds of marriage.

And if you are professing to be a Christian and you are living in adultery against your spouse because of your sexual addiction and you lusting after others to whom you are not married or because you are engaged in sexual activity outside your marriage relationship, please know what the Scriptures teach on that. So, first of all you need to turn from that sin (repent) and confess your sin to your spouse, and you must then walk in faithfulness from this point forward. For if you continue in sin and do not repent you will not inherit eternal life with God no matter what you profess with your lips.

[Matt 7:21-23; Matt 24:9-14; Lu 9:23-26; Rom 1:18-32; Rom 2:6-8; Rom 6:1-23; Rom 8:1-14,24; Rom 12:1-2; Rom 13:11; 1 Co 6:9-10,19-20; 2 Co 5:10,15,21; 1 Co 1:18; 1 Co 15:1-2; 2 Tim 1:8-9; Heb 9:28; 1 Pet 1:5; Gal 5:16-21; Gal 6:7-8; Eph 2:8-10; Eph 4:17-32; Eph 5:3-6; Col 1:21-23; Col 3:5-17; 1 Pet 2:24; Tit 2:11-14; 1 Jn 1:5-9; 1 Jn 2:3-6,24-25; 1 Jn 3:4-10; Heb 3:6,14-15; Heb 10:23-31; Heb 12:1-2; Rev 21:8,27; Rev 22:14-15]

Broken Cord

An Original Work / August 29, 2018

Your bond is broken
With your Lord and Savior
And your testimony is
Separate from Him.

Your words not matching
Your actions today.
Repent of your sin and
Bow down and pray.

Live what you testify
In truth always.

Purity’s lacking in
Your life and witness,
For you profess one thing,
But other you do.

Not moral, spiritual.
Still of the flesh.
Not living in truth to
What you confess.

Lying about it
Puts you in a mess.

Living a lie is your practice,
‘tis true of you.
Masquerade righteousness –
None of it true.

Your heart is not given
To your Lord God.
Because of how you live,
You are a fraud.

Turn from your sin and
Give your life to God.

 

[Sabri]

Thank you for the words. So, ypu are saying one can be living in adultery to oneself? That doesn’t make sense. Additionally, when does repentance come in. If you have lusted on some other people and repented and asked God for forgiveness, I believe Jesus is just that he will forgive us. We place sin under the blood. No matter what act you have done and no matter how many women or men you have slep with. Someone could lust and sleep with multiple men but once they repent it’s under the blood. We are not like God. We hold mens faults over them.if you made a mistake was beguiled by Satan or his crazy lustful demons and men who unsuspecting tempt you then you repent ask God to forgive you and it’s forgiven. Wow to those who offend or tempt my little ones.

 

[Christsfreeservant]

Thank you for the words. So, ypu are saying one can be living in adultery to oneself? That doesn’t make sense. Additionally, when does repentance come in. If you have lusted on some other people and repented and asked God for forgiveness, I believe Jesus is just that he will forgive us. We place sin under the blood. No matter what act you have done and no matter how many women or men you have slep with. Someone could lust and sleep with multiple men but once they repent it’s under the blood. We are not like God. We hold mens faults over them.if you made a mistake was beguiled by Satan or his crazy lustful demons and men who unsuspecting tempt you then you repent ask God to forgive you and it’s forgiven. Wow to those who offend or tempt my little ones.

Some people are addicted to masturbation which is a sexual act with oneself. It is basically having sex with oneself instead of with one's spouse. it is self-gratification (a sex act) outside the bonds of marriage. So it is still adultery. And with regard to repentance, according to the Scriptures if sin is your habit, your practice, what you go to on a consistent and regular basis, going back to the same sins over and over again, you do not know God and he does not know you, you do not love God, and therefore you are not one of his and you do not have salvation from sin nor eternal life with God. And true repentance is not "sin, confess, sin, confess, sin, confess" as part of a habitual sin cycle, but it is turning away from your sins to go in the opposite direction to walk in obedience to your Lord, instead, and in holiness and righteousness. It doesn't mean you will never sin again, but that sin no longer has mastery over your life. You are not obeying sin in practice but you are obeying the Lord. This is where God marks a "line in the sand," basically. So it is not true repentance if you keep repeating the same deliberate and habitual sins over and over and you don't turn away from them to now walk in holiness and in righteousness and in obedience to the Lord.

[Matt 7:21-23; Lu 9:23-26; Jn 6:35-58; Jn 15:1-11; Rom 1:18-32; Rom 2:6-8; Rom 6:1-23; Rom 8:1-14; 1 Co 6:9-10; 2 Co 5:10; Gal 5:16-21; Gal 6:7-8; Eph 5:3-6; Col 1:21-23; Col 3:5-11; 1 Jn 1:5-10; 1 Jn 2:3-6; 1 Jn 3:4-10; Heb 10:23-31; 1 Pet 1:17-21; Rev 21:8,27; Rev 22:14-15]

 

[Sabri]

Hmm. I do not get adultery with oneself. Additionally, I understand sin and repentance. However some addictions take time. God is not like men. He’s patient kind sweet loving. He sees the man who is trying to break suck sinful behaviors i.e. drug addiction

 

[Christsfreeservant]

Hmm. I do not get adultery with oneself. Additionally, I understand sin and repentance. However some addictions take time. God is not like men. He’s patient kind sweet loving. He sees the man who is trying to break suck sinful behaviors i.e. drug addiction

Read the Scriptures I referenced above. They teach if we are addicted (enslaved) to sin we are not saved and we do not have eternal life.

 

[Carl Emerson]

If by the Spirit we are putting to death the deeds of the flesh we will live - and this can take time.

I think your position is harsh especially your reference to masturbation.

Single folk have a choice to have unwanted dreams, or impassionately release the natural pressure without lust. To me this is not addictive or sinful.

Our loving God works with us to progressively get free. It is wrong to say that those on this redemptive road do not know Him or are known by Him because they are not sinless.

He sees the heart and knows our longing to be free and pure.

 

[Christsfreeservant]

If by the Spirit we are putting to death the deeds of the flesh we will live - and this can take time.

I think your position is harsh especially your reference to masturbation.

Single folk have a choice to have unwanted dreams, or impassionately release the natural pressure without lust. To me this is not addictive or sinful.

Our loving God works with us to progressively get free. It is wrong to say that those on this redemptive road do not know Him or are known by Him because they are not sinless.

He sees the heart and knows our longing to be free and pure.

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. 4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 5 but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. 1 John 2:3-5

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:5-7

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. 5 You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. 6 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. 8 Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. 9 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. 1 John 3:4-10

 

[Carl Emerson]

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. 4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 5 but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. 1 John 2:3-5

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:5-7

Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. 5 You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. 6 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. 8 Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. 9 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. 1 John 3:4-10

Are you claiming that a true believer no longer sins ???

Are you claiming that a man who is required to supply a sperm sample for medical reasons is sinning in the process?

We all agree that lust is a sin - are you claiming that to supply such a sample is always sinful?