Divorce and adultery

[Bruno]

Matthew 5:31-32

NASB

"It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."


NKJV

"Furthermore it has been said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 'But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."

 

Is this scripture saying that divorce is not a sin if your spouse cheats on you?

 

[Beckijhn]

Yes I believe so. I believe there are only two reasons for divorce, 1) If your spouse cheats on you, and 2) if your spouse is an unbeliever and wants to be freed from you (the Pauline principle, I believe).

In both cases I believe that God is bigger than the circumstances and I've seen marriages recover from both of those situations. Ultimately if it is case 1 or case 2, it would be between the person a God as to whether he was free or not. (Like if God tells you to stick it out like the prophet whose wife (Homer?) was a prostitute. oy! I can't remember the reference. Help, anyone???)

 

[Gerry]

Originally posted by Beckijhn
Yes I believe so. I believe there are only two reasons for divorce, 1) If your spouse cheats on you, and 2) if your spouse is an unbeliever and wants to be freed from you (the Pauline principle, I believe).

In both cases I believe that God is bigger than the circumstances and I've seen marriages recover from both of those situations. Ultimately if it is case 1 or case 2, it would be between the person a God as to whether he was free or not. (Like if God tells you to stick it out like the prophet whose wife (Homer?) was a prostitute. oy! I can't remember the reference. Help, anyone???)

You are speaking of Hosea! Indeed an awesome story with many lessons for us today.

However, in this time, God has given us His WRITTEN Word on how to deal with every situation and He will NOT contradict what He has put in writing.

 

[seebs]

Originally posted by Bruno
Matthew 5:31-32

NASB

"It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."


NKJV

"Furthermore it has been said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 'But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."

 

Is this scripture saying that divorce is not a sin if your spouse cheats on you?

Compare it with the same passage in the other Gospel that includes this story... we don't see the "except for sexual immorality" thing. (Actually, I think the original Greek is "pornea", so it might include non-adulterous sexual immorality, but I don't think anyone knows for sure.)

I think divorce is almost always a Bad Thing. It may be the best you can do in a given circumstance.

It seems to me that it's better understood as "don't divorce for frivolous reasons". Some people might find that it is more appropriate for them to forgive an adulterous spouse, and remain married. Some people might, quite justifiably, conclude that physical abuse is grounds for divorce. However, "too old", or "starting to have wrinkles" would, IMHO, not be acceptable reasons for a divorce.

 

[nikolai_42]

Originally posted by Bruno
Matthew 5:31-32

NASB

"It was said, 'WHOEVER SENDS HIS WIFE AWAY, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE'; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."


NKJV

"Furthermore it has been said, "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. 'But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."

 

Is this scripture saying that divorce is not a sin if your spouse cheats on you?

 

 I think you'll find that ANY divorce is not what God wants. There is NEVER a situation where God desires divorce. Jesus also says that God only allowed divorce (and only in those situations) because of the hardness of Israel's heart. In some ways, it seems He relented because of Moses' plea on Israel's behalf. But in the end, because it was permitted by God (because of Israel's hardness of heart), God used it in His dealings with Israel. So man's permission of divorce (getting God's 'ok' only under occasion of adultery) worked to his own detriment but to God's glory (and more to come).

"He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."  Matthew 19:8

God even SAYS (through Malachi) that He HATES divorce:

"For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."
 Malachi 2:16

I read it as being straightforward. God hates divorce. It is only permissible according to the law in cases of adultery. But for those who would please God will not seek divorce.

 

[Blade]

Yes the lord does not like it at all. Yet if it is done and if theres no going back then but it under the blood (repent) and then God forgives and forgets.

 

[Gerry]

It seems to me that it's better understood as "don't divorce for frivolous reasons".

All the versions I have access to seem pretty clear on the grounds for divorce. This one, however, I have not seen. Which one do you get this from, and what would be considered not "frivolous", besides adultry, and the "non adulterous sexual imorality" and the physical abuse, which is included in the version you are using?

 

[aaron]

a

 

[kat37]

just to throw another idea out there... what if one spouse cheats before they are married? then do ya'll think it is still a reason for divorce?

 

[aaron]

a

 

[seebs]

Originally posted by Gerry
All the versions I have access to seem pretty clear on the grounds for divorce. This one, however, I have not seen. Which one do you get this from, and what would be considered not "frivolous", besides adultry, and the "non adulterous sexual imorality" and the physical abuse, which is included in the version you are using?

I don't think this is something where we get a nice simple checklist where a series of unambiguous yes or no answers can tell us exactly what we should do.

I think the mere fact that the two Gospels which mention the standard for divorce give different standards is enough to tell us that there was debate over it very early on.

Seems to me that "physical abuse" is grounds for divorce, and I don't think God needs to mention it specifically; if it's not obvious to us, we're beyond help anyway.

 

[Gerry]

Seebs, I wrote a rather lengthy reply here, replete with Scriptures and all. But I am not going to post it, because this is a Deeper Fellowship Forum, and I will not be responsible for turning it into another debate forum. debate is surely not the way to have a deeper fellowship with God or with fellow Christians.

I am of the opinion that the Bible has been written as inspired by the Holy Spirit, who is given to all born again Christians to guide us into all Truth. I believe we need to trust God to be plain and not tricky with us, and I believe that we can.

Because I love Jesus, I will bring Him honor where I can, and I will not dishonor Him when I can avoid it. I will do my best to live by His Words recorded in Matthew 7:12: "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets."

 

[seebs]

Good deal. If you want to have a debate on the issue, we could start one in one of the debate forums. I was just starting to think "man, I really shouldn't have started debating this point here"; glad you caught it when I didn't.

 

[sbbqb7n16]

The NIV says "except for marital unfaithfulness" That's the version I read on my own time.

 

[saramay]

what to do if a pastor has been accused by his wife of having an affair with a new member. the wife has no evidence at all but the damage has already been done, some members know about the situation and are confused now to believe the Pastor or not.

 

[JPPT1974]

I don't believe in divorce
Nor do I like adultery as
Though I do believe in seeing
A marriage Christian counselor
Where this marriage that is on the rocks
Can and will be saved through Christ!