Dispense Weaning Tips Here:)

It is time. My emotions have reached a fever pitch and as my husband tells me "if nothing changes, nothing changes." SO....weaning has begun. Starting with night weaning. My husband and I have been preparing for this for awhile now in various ways and tonight is the real first night that he will be totally taking care of Anina.

I would really like some advice on how to wean without getting engorged, plugged ducts etc. Should I pump a bit to relive the pressure at night? Anina has been nursing up to six and seven times a night (on the really bad nights) and I know my body is going to have to adjust.

Also, I want to make sure I am getting in more cuddles, holding, book reading, playing, Mommy and Anina time during the day to reassure and comfort her. However, how to mix that goal with scheduled day nursings (cutting down on comfort nursing almost entirely) is a bit of a puzzle to me. Yes, I am mixing night weaning with cutting down on comfort nursing during the day. I KNOW that is going to be hard on us both.

The emotional and physical toll on me from all the fussing, crying, pulling, tugging, etc is hurting my relationship with my daughter severely. It's hurting my relationship with my husband. I know she will cry and be very sad. But something must change and so I reluctantly begin the weaning chapter.

Please dispense advice and suggestions here But please respect all that myself and my family has been through and refrain from trying to change my mind. Thank you.

How old is she? (Not because I want to change your mind, but because her age will determine some of the ways you attempt to wean).

My suggestion would be to wean fairly gradually. Starting with night weaning is a good idea. Perhaps start with no feeds from bedtime (around 7pm??) until she wakes up (around 7am??). That way, if you feed her once in the morning (when she wakes up), and once at night (just before bed) it will help to ease your discomfort. Your supply should adjust within a few days, or up to a week at the most.

Once you have cut back to those 2 feeds per day (I would allow a week), I would then drop one of those feeds - probably the evening one if your hubby is good at settling her. Again, allow about a week to let your supply adjust, then work on cutting out the other feed.

The best technique is distraction - do what ever you can to keep her mind off your boobs Wear tops that completely cover you so that she doesn't have any way to access you, and get out of the house and get busy! Have plenty of things up your sleeve to go and do (or new books and activities if you are staying home). Have some small treats and plenty of her favourite snacks to keep her happy.

If you are still going to need to bottle feed, try to either have her feed herself, or see if there is someone who can help to feed her so that you are not close to her when she is having her milk - otherwise there is the danger that she tries to get her milk supply from her. You can still be the one to cuddle her when she is already "topped up" and content.

I hope that helps. In all honesty, I wouldn't try to wean completely in a "cold turkey" way, given how much you have been feeding - I think YOUR body will just struggle too much. By doing things a little bit gradually, I think you will find things easier.

Also, if things really are too uncomfortable, I would speak to your doctor about some medication to help dry up your supply - sometimes just a week of taking cold and flu medication can be enough to dry things up for comfort!

I hope it goes well for you!

Thank you, Sarah. Anina is 11 months old on Wednesday. That definitely was helpful. I gave her a bit of milk tonight to see if she liked it. She did, which is a good start. Do you think it's realistic to aim to have her mostly weaned by the end of June?

I think around 3 milk feeds/day at around 12 months is a good goal.

So you could do a morning bf, then breakfast (or the other way around, although I really used to love bf in beed in the morning, so that's why we did it before breakfast) then maybe another one before her nap (is she having one nap or 2?) then maybe another one before bed. Or straight after dinner?

What strategies are you going to use to reduce the number of breastfeeds at night? Are you going to try and just rock her back to sleep or try CIO?

I think you could have her weaned within a month. I was just a little worried that you might want it to be quicker than that (which could be quite painful for both of you)!

If you can eliminate the night time feeds you might find that a couple of day feeds don't worry you any more. (Not that I am talking you out of weaning either). I have found day feeds much easier to manage when night feeds are under control!

Avoid pumping if you can - that will help to keep your supply up more than anything. If you have to do anything, maybe just a TINY bit in the shower if you absolutely have to! Also keep an eye out for mastitis and see your doctor if you feel any symptoms coming on.

you probably shouldn't need to pump, just hand express a little in the shower for comfort.
A lot of how this goes will also depend on your daughter's temperament. I remember trying to gradually wean my daughter and it didn't really work, she's a very all or nothing kind of personality, so some feeds with bf and some feeds with bottle just made her very upset - so we had to decide to basically go cold turkey and she was happier with that.
I'm not saying to go cold turkey, far from it, just trying to give you a heads up in case it doesn't go perfectly to plan - as we know parenting doesn't ever tend to!

I agree with cutting out the nightime feeds first is a great idea, it will hopefully also help her to understand that nightime is for sleeping!

Also, choosing a nice, pretty bottle - or letting her put stickers on her bottle - something so the bottle is not this mean 'instead of breast' thing might help...

Hype up the cup. The way I got my kids weaned was replacing a bf with a sippy cup feeding - formula for us. Our kids were using sippy cups for fun since about 6 months old though and they had already gotten used to them.

Go slowly--I can totally understand I have always wanted my nursing reltationship with each child to end on a good note- and watch diligently for resentment to creep in, to let me know it's time to work toward weaning.

With night weaning- I recommend not going cold turkey-but rather maybe for several days siging a few songs to her each time you nurse and patting her back....and then begin to either hold her or leave her in her crib singing those same songs and patting her back without nursing...and eventualy you can stop the back rubbing and just sing the songs--and eventally she'll likely be able to sleep better.

I would wait a bit to do too much during the daytime differently, beause your problems will be exascerbated if she feels suddenly unsecure. But look at your nursing patterns- does she want to nurse everytime you sit in a particular chair, etc... and avoid some of the behaviours which lead to nursing. Again, you can establish-gradually- a non-nursing comfort routine- mixing verbal and touch identifiers with comfort and doing them first, while you nurse, and then instead of nursing.