Disiplining children

[allieisme]

"Family bed" and breastfeeding until the child is ready? I know this isnt the topic of the post I started, but isnt that going a little to far with breastfeeding? I mean to each his own, but are you waiting for your child to say something like.."Ok mommy I'm done" I guess I just dont understand that at all..And I have to agree with some of the people in here, the reason why i started this thread was to see, how many people spanked and chose not too, If I feel it necessary I spank my daughter too, thats not to say hard or anything but she gets the point not to do it again, or she will be in more trouble..I think children listen better on their discipline..I was spanked as a child as well, and I have no ill effects either, Its just a matter of opinion i guess!

 

[susabean]

I nursed my 2nd dgt until she was 2 and 1/2. It was security for her. She had been a preemie, and had constant recurrent ear infections that resulted in surgeries....so nursing was a comfort to her. One day she looked at me and I looked at her and we both knew....that was the last day of nursing. She weaned herself. No trauma, no fuss, no muss, no aching breasts, etc.

You have to do what works for YOUR children. If you feel extended nursing isn't for you, then fine....don't do it. But don't down those who do. I know children (my first, for example, who stopped nursing at 5 months because I went back to work and she liked the bottle better....) that take a binky until they are 3 and 4.....and they do it for comfort and security....so the only difference is flesh or plastic....and people's comfort levels. People don't need to be comfortable with what I do...but they do need to respect it if they are going to spend some time around me. On the same token, I don't down those who bottle feed, or are more structured than I am. You have to find your own groove...you have to find what works for YOU.

When new moms ask me for advice, what I tell them is this. YOU know your child, and your lifestyle better than anyone else does. Follow your heart. If your heart says to ferberize, because you cannot sleep with a baby in the bed, then ferberize. If Dr. Sears hits a resonant chord with you, then wear that baby! God gives us our children for US to bring up....and He gives us the wisdom and discernment to give that child just what he/she needs....if we but listen.

Just my belly button opinion.

blessings,
Tammy

 

[allieisme]

>>Just my belly button opinion.

Thats so cute!!..LOL I'm still smiling..

 

[Avila]

Tammy! What an excellent explanation!! I couldn't agree more!

 

[Living for Him]

Wow.So many answers,so amny opinions.Alot of good advice too.

My 2 cents worth.

Because of how harshly I was disciplined as a child,I have a very difficult time with disciplining my own. I am a new christian ,and I sincerely wish to glorify God in all that I do. I want my children so much to grow into good,honest,loving,christian adults,and I wish there was a fool proof plan on accomplishing that. The only reference I have for that,is the Bible.My problem is is that I hate to soank,and when I do,it's been because I've just had it ! Then I felt that I went too far,never leaving physical damage,but shocking my children. Consistency is where my focus needs to be. I think for the most part,as parents.we really do not enjoy disciplining our kids,my mom used to say"this hurts me more then it hurts you".She was right.My stepdad was the one...who really hurt us...

My mom spanked and so did he.The difference was,I knew she loved me.She showed me and told me every day.He did not. So in saying that,I'll end with this.My kids know that I love them.Any spanking that is done in our home,is done with love,because they know,feel and see everyday that we love them.That will make all of the difference in the world to them.

Godbless you all !Lori

 

[Fessie]

Hmm..First of all I must say I'm not a parent yet. Far from it considering I'm only 17. I'd just like to say though...my parents spanked my brother and I as kids and I'm going to tell you right now..I have NO hard feelings towards my parents whatsoever. Instead I have a sense of respect for them. Evertime I got spanked I knew I was doing wrong, and I knew I pushed the limit too far and deserved the punishment. They didn't spank me out of anger, they did it in love. Now that I am older and babysit for many different families, both with parents who don't spank and those who do...I will tell you there is a difference. There's just a respect there when the child knows who's boss. Just my thoughts...

 

[allieisme]

Originally posted by Fessie
Hmm..First of all I must say I'm not a parent yet. Far from it considering I'm only 17. I'd just like to say though...my parents spanked my brother and I as kids and I'm going to tell you right now..I have NO hard feelings towards my parents whatsoever. Instead I have a sense of respect for them. Evertime I got spanked I knew I was doing wrong, and I knew I pushed the limit too far and deserved the punishment. They didn't spank me out of anger, they did it in love. Now that I am older and babysit for many different families, both with parents who don't spank and those who do...I will tell you there is a difference. There's just a respect there when the child knows who's boss. Just my thoughts...

That sounds right to me.. Very well said

 

[Dewjunkie]

Fessie, it's nice to hear someone raised in the "new age parenting era" that feels that way.

I too was spanked when younger, and not one day in my life did I harbor any ill feelings towards my parents. I personally believe in spanking, but I do think that some take it too far. If taken too far it can be abuse, and that is when problems start. I personally try to never spank my daughters when I am really angry or frustrated. I also try to avoid spanking if something else in my day has made me angry. I want my daughters to know that when I spank them it is because they broke a rule, and it is done out of love and responsibility rather than daddy being angry. My older daughter is sensitive, and most times all it takes is a displeased look or attitude towards her and she is back in line. My younger daughter is stubborn, and couldn't care less if you are displeased with her. Most of the time a slap on the hand gets the message across. I guess it goes back to figuring out what works for you and your kids, but I don't like being glared at or condemned because I believe spanking works for me.

 

[Fessie]

Very well stated Dewjunkie.