Discipline dilemma

[Christdefinesme]

Sticker Chart. Make a sticker and reward chart. I think grounding and taking away her favorite priveledges is still useful combined with rewards.
Grounding is great, but I'd pull it back a little, 3 days is too much, but you could take away some things that are her faves, and then you could reward the behavior you want to instill. "if you obey in this area, you get a sticker, this many stickers equals this reward, fill the chart and big reward."
We've done this with our kids on some habits that don't break with just discipline, rewards and charts have really helped in these areas, especially the ones that have to do with sleep!
Note, the rewards can be priveledges, like staying up late with her brother and watching a movie one night, or allowing her to have the freedom to do certain things she's been asking to do, etc. Or they can be toys (small ones) or other prizes. Both in combination are great. Whatever appeals to her most.

 

[bliz]

There clearly is a problem here with selfish and inconsiderate behavior! Children need to learn to think of others and accomadate them.

I am speaking, of course, about your husband's bad behavior. He is being totally selfish and inconsiderate of the demands he places on you. I quite agree that your daughter whould not be punished for being a normal kid and for wanting to socolize with her brother.

If he will not be reasonable and act like an adult, start going to bed very early so that you can get up with him in the morning or start sleeping elsewhere. The need for sleep is a biological need. I'm sure that your husband would not deny you water for his personal convenience, but he is denying you sleep for the same reason.

 

[AbidingInHim]

I had a similar problem, my 3 year old wakes at 6:30 no matter what, I get up to fix my husband breakfast and spend time with him before he leaves, at 5.....I just make sure I go to bed early enough, then when he leaves I have alone time to spend with God before my first one wakes up.

But I have noticed some mentions of a job, I suppose that's what keeps you up?

That's a pretty harsh punishment for her offense. It's lonely and sad to wake up and have everybody else asleep. I would think it's almost impossible to not wake sombeody up just so you don't feel like your in a morge.

 

[Christdefinesme]

He would like me and the rest of the family to keep the same schedule as he has--everyone getting up at 4 and the kids giong to bed at like 6.. that is his solution...

Now THAT's funny! Did you laugh at him when he told you this?

 

[Princessperky]

I just want to chime in, against the man. Sorry you prolly don't want to hear it, especially since it is a common assumption that you can change children and NOT change men, which is true up to a point.

My DH is up a bit early just 5:30, he tiptoes, hardly uses lights, and gets his coat out the night before and all that to be as quiet as possible. DD STILL wakes up earlier when he works than when he is off, it is 'environment noise' and the noise signals 'we are up'

I think the nap is a pretty useful thing for you and your kids, use a movie for them if they wont sleep (after all she was asleep a bit later than you)

Also a book snuggled with you is a great way to keep kids quieter early. DD often reads one with me (err ok so she looks at the pictures while I 'snooze').

If you really don't think DH will ever change than go out of your way to make the rughness easier on the rest of you. IF you do want to change him, try letting him read this thread. though you might want to warn him. (I told DH about it, made his day to know he was the 'cool' DH who was quiet . So if you have a morning DH, tell them how wonderful they are, not all men are!)

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

Princess, I am with you. I am so much more thankful for hubby now after reading this thread. As a homeschooling mom who puts in a full day, I cannot even imagine how exhausted I would be if my my husband were as demanding.

To the original poster, maybe your husband doesn't see being a 'mom' as a real job? I'd really recommend meeting with your pastor or a counselor. Hubby needs to have his eyes opened.

 

[RThor]

I also agree. This is coming from a man. I hope you and your Husband con work it out. I hope that for all your sake. There does seem to be alot of anger. Alot of control. If you address you husband I hope you can address him with I statements about your feelings on this matter. You do have a full time job with those kids. That commands alot of respect

 

[RThor]

I guess you are going to wait intill you here advice you want. Maybe even and instint fix. Where is your son in this or do the boys do what they want then blame the girls. Try couples counseling, dig deep into control, and in the mean time be nice