Disciple in training

[FranklinNoble]

I wanted to keep a journal here, but I didn't want it to be in the "journals" forum, because I don't want it locked down. I'm not soliciting comments, per se, but I want people to be able to make them if they want to.

I have known Christ as my Lord and Savior for about 5 years now. I can't be more exact, because I don't remember the exact point when it happened - it was sort of a gradual process.

I have been slow to reach the point where I place seeking Him as my top priority in life. I have been reluctant to shake off a lifetime of bad habits. I have backslidden. I have been lazy, apathetic, and complacent. I have been a terrible witness.

I am done making excuses. I am neck-deep in a series of trials that have been going on for the last several years, and I have begged off pursuing a more serious relationship with the Lord because life has kept me busy. But I have been convicted lately. The Holy Spirit has made itself a home in my heart, and I will no longer ignore it.

I intend to share my thoughts and my progress, past and present. I will share the scriptures I study and how I have applied them.

I pray that this journal helps keep me accountable to my calling. I pray that it may serve to profit my brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray that the Lord will forgive my willful and selfish ignorance, and grant me strength and wisdom on the road ahead.

 

[Tavita]

I wanted to keep a journal here, but I didn't want it to be in the "journals" forum, because I don't want it locked down. I'm not soliciting comments, per se, but I want people to be able to make them if they want to.

I have known Christ as my Lord and Savior for about 5 years now. I can't be more exact, because I don't remember the exact point when it happened - it was sort of a gradual process.

I have been slow to reach the point where I place seeking Him as my top priority in life. I have been reluctant to shake off a lifetime of bad habits. I have backslidden. I have been lazy, apathetic, and complacent. I have been a terrible witness.

I am done making excuses. I am neck-deep in a series of trials that have been going on for the last several years, and I have begged off pursuing a more serious relationship with the Lord because life has kept me busy. But I have been convicted lately. The Holy Spirit has made itself a home in my heart, and I will no longer ignore it.

I intend to share my thoughts and my progress, past and present. I will share the scriptures I study and how I have applied them.

I pray that this journal helps keep me accountable to my calling. I pray that it may serve to profit my brothers and sisters in Christ. I pray that the Lord will forgive my willful and selfish ignorance, and grant me strength and wisdom on the road ahead.

FranklinNoble, you've made a good start. Keep pressing in and being diligent to *work out your salvation with fear and trembling*, you will be totally blown away with what the Lord shares with you!

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Bless you...

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Welcome home, friend. Let us know if we can support you in any way.

 

[FranklinNoble]

Thanks... I've had a very busy week, but I hope to post some more here soon.

 

[All4one]

Agree with the previous posts. Remember this also... something God revealed to me yesterday that I think is for you.


Never focus on the future untill you have the "then" and "nows" under His grace!

Love Ya Bro,
All4one

 

[Tavita]

Agree with the previous posts. Remember this also... something God revealed to me yesterday that I think is for you.


Never focus on the future untill you have the "then" and "nows" under His grace!

Love Ya Bro,
All4one

Excellent Advice, All4one!!

 

[IKTCA]

(Jesus taught the parable of the seed sown in different fields. The 12 disciples asked him to explain.) Jesus said to them, “Do you not understand this parable? Then how will you understand all the parables?” (Mark 4:13)

It seems only natural that they did not understand the parable because the Spirit did not come yet. But Jesus gently rebuked the disciples for lack of understanding. This greatly disturbs me. Jesus was clearly saying that one can understand the words of God with the baptism of repentance.

Jesus also rebuked Peter (sinking in water), “You of little faith.” This was before Peter was baptized of the Holy Spirit. Jesus was expecting Peter to have the faith to walk on water with the baptism of repentance. I am greatly convicted.

When I compare myself before and after Holy Spirit baptism, I know I have changed a lot. As I seek the Lord through the bible and prayer, he rewards me with knowledge of God. By my standards, I became an okay Christian. But Jesus expects such understanding from the water baptized. If I say I am baptized of the Holy Spirit, I am expected greater understanding and, therefore, greater obedience.

Peter’s faith to walk on the water is a great faith to me. If a faith greater than that is required of the water baptized, how much more faith is required of the Spirit baptized? Of the ones who are given much, much is expected. What more can one be given than the Spirit of God? I feel woefully disobedient. I have wasted God’s grace and mercy.

Lord,
I am rebuked by your rebuke of the disciples. I should have been where I am now many years ago. And I should have by now a faith greater than Peter’s faith to walk on the water, and an understanding that understands all parables and teachings. O, Lord, have mercy on me. I am lazy and disobedient. Many hours I have wasted. Much of your grace I have squandered.

O, Lord,
Change my heart. Increase my obedience, and create new yearnings in me. Draw me closer to you for I must not be where I am. Amen.

 

[IKTCA]

He did not speak to them except in parables, but he explained everything in private to his disciples.

Though he gently rebuked the disciples for not understanding parables, he did not reject them. He still loved them and taught them. That is my Lord Jesus.

He deserves to be called the Lord. Though I am woefully inadequate, there is a desire in me that wants to be his. Though my flesh fights a war against my innermost being, and sometimes wins, still the innermost being desires to obey his commands.

Anyone who draws near to Jesus, Jesus draws near. Once in Jesus, whether I lacked understanding in the past does not matter. Whether I am learning from him now only matters.

In order to learn forgiveness from him, I must try hard to forgive those who reject me. In order to learn praying from him, I must try hard to pray for my brothers. Soon, the Lord will make forgiving and praying as part of my inner being.

Lord,

Slow learners you do not reject. But those who are slow in obeying you are not pleased with. Therefore, Lord, let my obedience be quicker than my learning. Amen.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Reminds me of Peter. He was always the quickest to jump whenever the Lord spoke. Sometimes he made mistakes, but he was the *only* apostle who ever walked on water. I think that's significant.

 

[FranklinNoble]

There is a great site where you can read daily devotionals by C.H. Spurgeon. I recommend you check it out and bookmark it:

A Daily Dose Of Spurgeon

Today's entry really hit on one of the things that has really motivated me lately:

Thursday, October 21, 2004
This Morning's Meditation
C. H. Spurgeon

"The love of Christ constraineth us."—2 Corinthians 5:14.

HOW much owest thou unto my Lord? Has He ever done anything for thee? Has He forgiven thy sins? Has He covered thee with a robe of righteousness? Has He set thy feet upon a rock? Has He established thy goings? Has He prepared heaven for thee? Has He prepared thee for heaven? Has He written thy name in His book of life? Has He given thee countless blessings? Has He laid up for thee a store of mercies, which eye hath not seen nor ear heard? Then do something for Jesus worthy of His love. Give not a mere wordy offering to a dying Redeemer. How will you feel when your Master comes, if you have to confess that you did nothing for Him, but kept your love shut up, like a stagnant pool, neither flowing forth to His poor or to His work. Out on such love as that! What do men think of a love which never shows itself in action? Why, they say, "Open rebuke is better than secret love." Who will accept a love so weak that it does not actuate you to a single deed of self-denial, of generosity, of heroism, or zeal! Think how He has loved you, and given Himself for you! Do you know the power of that love? Then let it be like a rushing mighty wind to your soul to sweep out the clouds of your worldliness, and clear away the mists of sin. "For Christ's sake" be this the tongue of fire that shall sit upon you: "for Christ's sake" be this the divine rapture, the heavenly afflatus to bear you aloft from earth, the divine spirit that shall make you bold as lions and swift as eagles in your Lord's service. Love should give wings to the feet of service, and strength to the arms of labour. Fixed on God with a constancy that is not to be shaken, resolute to honour Him with a determination that is not to be turned aside, and pressing on with an ardour never to be wearied, let us manifest the constraints of love to Jesus. May the divine loadstone draw us heavenward towards itself.​

Part of what has driven my recent urge towards better discipleship is a sense of indebtedness; of realizing what God has given me, and how I can never fully repay Him for it. While nothing I do can ever match the divine gift of salvation, I feel especially wretched for not at least trying. I should at least show Him that I understand the value of what I have been given, even though I cannot, and never will, deserve it.

 

[IKTCA]

And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”

“Who then is Jesus?” was not only the disciples’ question, but also is my question. I believe I know Jesus. He comes to my heart when I kneel. He brings understanding to my dull mind. He answers my questions and hears my prayers. He lives with me, in me. He places words of praise on my lips and hands. The bibles tells me all these.

But Jesus is more than what I know now. Since Jesus is the glory of God, he must be more than my understanding.

A few years after they asked this question, the disciples went to Judea and Samaria, even to the land of the Gentiles, and proclaimed the Jesus they knew. Jesus proved their witness to be true by performing wonders and miracles. They no longer asked, “Who then is this?”

Lord Jesus,

The question that your disciples asked I ask now. As you answered their question and made them proclaim you, answer my question and use me as you will. Blessed is the one who knows you. His knowledge will save him from the present day lawlessness, and be a light in this evil age. Therefore, Lord, bless me too with that knowledge. Amen.

PS: I have FranklinNoble's permission to post my bible study notes here. Thank you, FN.

 

[IKTCA]

When the demoniac saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and bowed down before him.

I adjure you by God, do not torment me.

He begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country.

The unclean spirits begged him, “Let us enter the swine.”

Jesus gave them permission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I have been thinking about this for days. I wanted to know why the demoniac ran to Jesus instead of running away. If Jesus was causing a torment, why did he run to Jesus? Did Jesus call him in spirit? Why did he so want to stay in the country? Did he mean the physical region or spiritual region? Why do unclean spirits want to enter a living being, even swine?

I believe this event is recorded in the bible in part to let believers know about unclean spirits. But I have not received any answers from the Lord. After a few days of search, I am concluding that I am not prepared to receive the knowledge. I need to move on to next paragraphs and chapters of Mark.

Lord Jesus,
It is sufficient for me to know now that you are the Lord of all. The wind and the sea obeyed you. So did the unclean spirits.

Lord, let my obedience be greater than the wind and the sea, and all unclean spirits. How can a believing spirit be less obedient than all others? Lord, increase my obedience for I desire to.

The demoniac ran to you when he saw you. But let my spirit search for you even when you are not near, over persecutions and narrow gates and rough roads. Let the desire of my heart be to be with you. Amen.

 

[IKTCA]

Fear not, only believe.

Though I am not an old man, I am old enough to have experienced heart dropping moments. When I received a pink slip, I checked several times if the name on the letter was really mine. Once my wife’s employer called me to work; she passed out at work and was taken to an emergency room. I was afraid if I was losing her.

This man’s child was sick. He asked Jesus to come and heal her. On the way, he was notified that she died already.

Losing a child must be the most disheartening experience of all. If I were the man, I would fall in fear, too. Each time I read this commandment of Jesus, I felt convicted. I knew I wouldn’t be able to obey him and not fear.

For years, this command remained as un-obeyable. As I was meditating on this word today, for the first time, I had no conviction in my heart. Instead, I had peace surrounding my soul.

For all these years, I thought Jesus was rebuking the man for being fearful. But now I see that Jesus was comforting him: “I am the Lord of life. I am here with you. So, my child, do not fear.” Ah, what a grace was Jesus speaking! Who else has these words of grace!

Lord Jesus,

I thank you for opening my eyes and let me see your grace. Hardened and disobedient even at the depth of my soul, I could not feel the warmth of your love and tenderness of your grace.

But now I see, Lord. You are truly the Lord of sinners since your grace covers their shame. I praise you, Lord. Help me remember this command at every disheartening moment for there will be many in my journey. As you lifted the man from the deepest despair, lift me into your peace with your holy words.

Oh, Lord, I desire to be governed by your words. Let your words be my power and submission. In you words, I find peace and comfort. Amen.

 

[IKTCA]

You give them something to eat.

A large crowd was following Jesus. He said to the disciples to give them something to eat. A good servant gives food to other servants at the proper time. (Luke 12:42) Anyone who has ears to hear obeys the command, “Feed my sheep.”

“What do I feed, Lord?” I ask. When a brother hardens his heart, I kneel and pray for him. When a brother is discouraged of faith, I share the words of faith. When a brother slanders, I wait in patience and forgiveness.

Lord,

How can I feed my brothers when I am in hunger myself? Lord, feed me; I will share my food with my brothers. Teach me to pray; I will pray for them. Rebuke me when I am discouraged of faith; I will encourage them with your encouragement.

Lord, I am not sure if I will ever be able to feed my brothers. I am always in need and poor myself. But if I must, prepare me with your power and mould me into your will. Amen.