Disappointment with God

[ZiSunka]

Ever been disappointed by God?

Maybe something you longed for never happened.
Or someone you loved left you.
Or something you prayed about went wrong.

This club is for everyone who has experienced disappointment with God. The point of this club is to discuss those disappointments and how they changed your faith. They don't have to have happy outcomes, and it's all right to admit you're still angry with God.


There was this man who I loved very much. We had an on-again-off-again relationship for several years, but we knew we wanted to get married some day. Once, when we were on a break, he called to tell me that he was getting married at the end of the week. He said he still loved me, but that he felt he needed to marry this other woman. He felt that he could fix all her problems if he married her.

I was devastated, although I never let on to anyone how much it hurt. Anyone except God, that is. Inside, he knew my heart was dying it hurt so bad. I could feel Jesus sit up with me while I cried all night for weeks, and cried off and on for years. It made Jesus real to me, to feel his presence in my time of pain. I felt like he kept saying, "This is not what I would have chosen for 'Sam' (not his real name). He chose this path, and it is not going to be a happy or healthy one for him. But he won't be coming back to you, you will never have him again."

This was a disappointment to me. Up til then, I always thought the Christian life was about harnessing the power of God. I thought prayer would fix everything, no matter what. On top of the pain of losing Sam, I had to deal with the disappointment with God.

But somehow, I took comfort in knowing that God had not forced us apart, but that Sam had chosen this marriage in defiance of God's will. It was not a punishment for me. I moved many miles away, partly to get away from Sam's new marriage, and partly to follow what God indicated was now his will for MY life. Because Sam took a detour, I had to take one, too.

This experience hurt me beyond belief, but somehow brought me closer to God, and enabled me to trust him more, despite the pain.

Anyone else ever been brought closer to God by pain?

 

[AngelAmidala]

My disappointment with God wound up leading me to my renewed and strengthened relationship with him.

September 1996 started a string of bad events in my life and my family's life...some kind of trivial, others not. A guy I had been dating broke up with me, my dad's car got totalled in my school's parking lot, my dog died, I was either stuck at school for long hours at a time (no ride home) or I had to get up mega early to drive mom/dad to work so I could have a car, then I'd have to pick them up from work, my dad was on the verge of losing his job for the 4th time in about as many years, and we found out he had prostate cancer.

I wasn't very strong in my faith so I just thought it was God's way of punishing my family. I didn't get why He was doing it. So I sat there and yelled at my parents, "There is no God!!!" I wrote it in my journal. And I truly believed that there was no God.

After feeling this way for a few months, I knew it wasn't right. I wasn't happy. Something was waaaay wrong. And at that same time, my church started offering a Women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings....so I decided to give it a try.

And wow...what a change! One of the women in the Bible study was such a great example to me of what being a Woman of God was all about. I was so glad she was a part of this study. We started out going through the book of Philippians...which is why I consider this to be my favorite book in the Bible. It's what brought me back to God.

I haven't had the most perfect life since then. But God is all part of it. And God helps me through the rough patches. And I'm a generally happy person all the time because of it.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Lambslove-

Your post almost brought tears to my eyes! It has put into words something I have been feeling about a past relationship of mine but I just couldn't get it all put together.

Long story short, I met this man whom I was just certain God had brought into my life. We just seemed to fit together. The only problem was that we were about 5 hours apart. I didn't have a problem with this because in my mind, God sees hearts, not state lines. One day out of the blue, he tells me he has met someone else and is seeing her. I was so hurt because I didn't understand why God had allowed me to met this man only to take him away from me. I kept wondering what I had done wrong. Your post just really hit home. Maybe it was not me at all, but his (the other guy) decision, possibly a wrong decision. You have really given me a lot to think about!

 

[ZiSunka]

People thwart God's will all the time.

Sam stopped by my house last fall. Everything is just how God told me it would be for him. He recognizes that he made the wrong decision and that he was wanting to resuce "Suzie" out of an unhappy situation, and didn't even consult God. He had just decided that this was going to be God's will and that since it was quite a good deed he was doing, that God would bless their marriage. Well, not only did he not fix her, her problems accentuated his problems and they had grown less Christ-like because of each other. They are dreadfully unhappy, but since they don't accept divorce, they are staying together. I keep praying for them, since they are my brother and sister in Christ, I want them to find salvation from the ugliness they have gotten themselves into.

Sometimes the biggest disappointments turn into the biggest blessings, though. My Joe is more wonderful than Sam ever was, and more sincerely interested in the things of God. If I had married Sam, I would have never come to Dayton or met Joe.

 

[wvmtnkid]

These situations really bring truth to Romans 8:28-"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I too believe that God can take my situation and work it to the good for me and for Him. Thanks for your story lambslove. My hope is renewed!

 

[ZiSunka]

anyone else have a disappointment story?

 

[Psalmist_Warrior]

I was 20 years old and was engaged to the most lovely woman on the planet. Her intelligence and beauty accentuated her wit and charm and I was "twitterpated". After three months of dating we were engaged, after 9 months of engagement (one month from the wedding date) she broke it off and I was CRUSHED.

It was a long ride to her apartment to collect the ring she assured me I must take back. The receiving back of that ring was like a hammer to the chest. I also asked why, and I kept getting the same answer from the Lord. "Trust me so I can bring your perfect bride." After two months of weeping and begging I resigned myself to God's care and began to make new plans. The Lord brought me through anger, resentment, fear, hurt, revenge and bitterness to a place of humility, forgiveness and even a rebirth of love but in a different light.

One month after my new life began to resume and take on renewed hope, she called and asked to see me.
I was so nervous, and afraid that I would be mean or spiteful. Seeing her brought back all the old feelings. Before me and God she asked my forgiveness for things she'd done, I was floored. After speaking my forgiveness I began to ask as well for things I'd done. At that moment God showed me my perfect bride.

So here we are 16 year of marriage and one very precious little girl later still clinging to those precepts we learned WITH each other and the Lord before we walked the aisle. Praise the Living God for His immeasurable wisdom and unfathomable love.

 

[kimmee]

There was one time when it seemed like eveyone around me was passing away...I lost faith in God for about a year after my grandfather passed away. I was really close to him and thought that God was taking him away from me..but now i know that it was just the way things were ment to be. Last year when my Aunt Jean Passed away from canser I noticed that what I was doing was foolish. Not beliving in God, what was I thinking?!AT my aunt Jean's Wake I talked to the minster after the service and it made me see things alot more clear, God does everything for a reason. Now God is the most Important thing in my life.

 

[ZiSunka]

Originally posted by Psalmist_Warrior
I was 20 years old and was engaged to the most lovely woman on the planet. Her intelligence and beauty accentuated her wit and charm and I was "twitterpated". After three months of dating we were engaged, after 9 months of engagement (one month from the wedding date) she broke it off and I was CRUSHED.

It was a long ride to her apartment to collect the ring she assured me I must take back. The receiving back of that ring was like a hammer to the chest. I also asked why, and I kept getting the same answer from the Lord. "Trust me so I can bring your perfect bride." After two months of weeping and begging I resigned myself to God's care and began to make new plans. The Lord brought me through anger, resentment, fear, hurt, revenge and bitterness to a place of humility, forgiveness and even a rebirth of love but in a different light.

One month after my new life began to resume and take on renewed hope, she called and asked to see me.
I was so nervous, and afraid that I would be mean or spiteful. Seeing her brought back all the old feelings. Before me and God she asked my forgiveness for things she'd done, I was floored. After speaking my forgiveness I began to ask as well for things I'd done. At that moment God showed me my perfect bride.

So here we are 16 year of marriage and one very precious little girl later still clinging to those precepts we learned WITH each other and the Lord before we walked the aisle. Praise the Living God for His immeasurable wisdom and unfathomable love.

How beautiful! God works in awesome ways!

 

[ZiSunka]

Originally posted by brian_z_babe
There was one time when it seemed like eveyone around me was passing away...I lost faith in God for about a year after my grandfather passed away. I was really close to him and thought that God was taking him away from me..but now i know that it was just the way things were ment to be. Last year when my Aunt Jean Passed away from canser I noticed that what I was doing was foolish. Not beliving in God, what was I thinking?!AT my aunt Jean's Wake I talked to the minster after the service and it made me see things alot more clear, God does everything for a reason. Now God is the most Important thing in my life.

When my mom died, I couldn't talk to God for about a year and a half. But every day of that time I missed my fellowship with Him. And when I was ready to come back, He didn't hold a grudge, He welcomed me back and never mentioned my time of silence or my resentments against Him.

 

[Vixen Evenstar]

My story is not nearly so touching as the others, but here goes anyways-
About two months ago i was going through a tough time, I would go to pray, but i felt like God had turned his back, like he was not listening, i was praying to a God who did not care. I felt rebellious, fine, i thought, i don't need any God. So, i stopped reading my bible, i didn't try to pray again. I went to church only because mom made me and went to youth only because of my friends and the cute boys.
this went on for some time, and soon i was telling myself, maybe there is not even a God, maybe Iv'e been fooled all this time. He has not turned his back. He was never even there to start with and now ive realized it!
Friday night, i went to youth group, fully intending to hang with my friends and only half listen to the worship songs. But then we started to sing the song, "Waves of Grace" and the words hit me hard.
"My hearts been hard, i have been blind, i have often worked so hard to keep you from my mind"
As the song went on i suddenly found myself crying and i was not able to stop. Later that night, i was thinking about it, and realized it was i who had turned my back, not him. It came to me all of a sudden, what i had been doing those past to months. I had been doing something i should not have, but i was making excuses to myself, the sin i kept doing i knew was wrong but i was "hooked" and i built up walls around myself to block out the holy spirit. I had blocked out God altogether. So i stopped what i was doing and asked for forgivness. And God has never felt more real to me. I know he told me what i was doing was wrong and that he loves me so much.......ok, enough from me.

 

[DeputyDan]

lambslove:

You should stop by the library and checkout Dr. Laura's book "10 stupid things men do to mess up their lives".

What your "Sam" did was one of the stupid things. --- The damsel in distress is really the wicked witch of the West in disguise.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

"Sometimes our broken hearts are healed
The moment we believe again."
-Mortal

 

[Hishandmaiden]

Vixen,
what you said is very similar to what I experienced. After a few defeats by my sins, a few unanswered prayers, and doubts, my heart also began to turn rebellious. I said to myself, Fine, if God is not going to help me solve my problem, I will cause him headaches by being the greatest Anti Christ out there. I won't go to church, won't read the bible, and will be an atheist even though I am so sure that God is real.
However, when my church mates came to visit me, and I told them all the problems bothering me, and they prayed for me. A vision revealed to one of them by God touched me, and made me too, realised that God knew everything that happened to me, and he cared about me, but I do not know it because I cannot see it.

 

[Blessed-one]

awwww, what touching testimonies! i read all of them, thank you for posting.

 

[ZiSunka]

Originally posted by Vixen Evenstar
My story is not nearly so touching as the others, but here goes anyways-
About two months ago i was going through a tough time, I would go to pray, but i felt like God had turned his back, like he was not listening, i was praying to a God who did not care. I felt rebellious, fine, i thought, i don't need any God. So, i stopped reading my bible, i didn't try to pray again. I went to church only because mom made me and went to youth only because of my friends and the cute boys.
this went on for some time, and soon i was telling myself, maybe there is not even a God, maybe Iv'e been fooled all this time. He has not turned his back. He was never even there to start with and now ive realized it!
Friday night, i went to youth group, fully intending to hang with my friends and only half listen to the worship songs. But then we started to sing the song, "Waves of Grace" and the words hit me hard.
"My hearts been hard, i have been blind, i have often worked so hard to keep you from my mind"
As the song went on i suddenly found myself crying and i was not able to stop. Later that night, i was thinking about it, and realized it was i who had turned my back, not him. It came to me all of a sudden, what i had been doing those past to months. I had been doing something i should not have, but i was making excuses to myself, the sin i kept doing i knew was wrong but i was "hooked" and i built up walls around myself to block out the holy spirit. I had blocked out God altogether. So i stopped what i was doing and asked for forgivness. And God has never felt more real to me. I know he told me what i was doing was wrong and that he loves me so much.......ok, enough from me.

Beautiful and very touching! It brought a tear of joy to my eyes.

 

[ZiSunka]

Originally posted by DeputyDan
lambslove:

You should stop by the library and checkout Dr. Laura's book "10 stupid things men do to mess up their lives".

What your "Sam" did was one of the stupid things. --- The damsel in distress is really the wicked witch of the West in disguise.

She's more of Glenda the Good Witch, they just don't fit together very well. She's too dependent and dramatic and he's too selfish and dramatic, too. That doesn't make for a happy marriage. Good puts people together for a reason, and keeps people apart for a reason. He doesn't want his people to be miserable in the marriage relationship, because he intends them to last for life, and because marriage is a picture of his love for us. If we are miserable in our marriages, it weakens us as Christians. Too many people demand their own way, not realizing that God has their best interests at heart.

 

[ZiSunka]

Originally posted by rpggal
Vixen,
what you said is very similar to what I experienced. After a few defeats by my sins, a few unanswered prayers, and doubts, my heart also began to turn rebellious. I said to myself, Fine, if God is not going to help me solve my problem, I will cause him headaches by being the greatest Anti Christ out there. I won't go to church, won't read the bible, and will be an atheist even though I am so sure that God is real.
However, when my church mates came to visit me, and I told them all the problems bothering me, and they prayed for me. A vision revealed to one of them by God touched me, and made me too, realised that God knew everything that happened to me, and he cared about me, but I do not know it because I cannot see it.

How wonderful that each one of us has found out the amazing truth that God loves us even when we hate him! And then he takes us back when we are done raging at him!

What wonderous love!

 

[Bruno]

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)

 

[ZiSunka]

perfect!