Dilemma

[Bannon]

Warning: this post is rather lengthy. If a lot of words frighten you, don’t bother- if not, please read and reply!

It seems like people have built a system of life like a game: you play, you win or lose points and money.

There’s this man I know, and I can picture him easily when he was younger: happy-go-lucky and trusting that god would be all he needed to be happy and provide all he needed to be happy. But life beats people down, and now he’s a middle aged, frustrated, pathetic loser with a job he does for the money.

I don’t want to end up like him, and I don’t think my faith is strong enough to build my life on it. At least if I worked towards getting money, I’d have some measure of material happiness.

Every day there’s part of me that’s growling in the back of my head. “This isn’t how you wanted to be!” It says. I wanted each day to feel like that first day I ‘accepted god into my life,’ but somehow I lost it. I just gradually forgot the most important thing in my life.

Now that day is just sort of an abstract memory, and I really can’t seem to remember the critical things I realized. I only recall that the intense level of euphoria and that it was the best day of my life. BUT I LOST IT.

In the back of my mind I’m worried that I’ll never find it again. Things feel just like they did before: I’m searching for something I can’t see, and even if I do find it again, how do I hold onto it?

Anyways, that’s why I’m doubtful to ‘take the plunge’ and live my live solely for god. But I don’t want to give up, and playing life like a game of monopoly just seems to devalue it.

 

[e8514]

God has a purpose for you in while your here on earth. He has commisioned you to do his will. God wants to bless you as time goes by. It is a growing experience.

Once you give your heart to the Lord, Satan will do anything to put doubt in your mind that your on the wrong tract. The Bible tells us as Christians we do have to seperate ourselves and not to conform to the world.

It is a challange, and living a Christian life can be very hard at times. Most imprtant--Remember this world you are just passing through. The true reward is in Heavan. God wants you to grow and become very close to him.

Pray and seek his face, read the word, and find what your calling is and go after it.

God Bless You--I will pray for you and keep you uplifted before the Lord.

 

[whatseekye]

Perhaps you have left your first love. We all have a first moment of recognizing God and loving him and what he did for us (the Gospel) but the cares of the world can come and choke the new faith we have. In Matthew 13, there is the parable of the sower, where Jesus says, "Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants," and then he explains that this means, "The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful." That sounds pretty pertinent to what you were saying about being caught up in concerns about material wealth and work.


Also, what comes to mind is the concept that we can't leave off from our first love experience of knowing God. Paul wrote about knowing the love of God:

A Prayer for the Ephesians

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. --Ephesians 3:14-21 (NIV)

I guess even the Ephesians (the people that Paul was talking to in the quote above) ended up losing their love for God, because in Revelations, there is the following warning made:

Revelation 2


To the church in Ephesus

"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. -- Revelations 2:1-7 (NIV)

It's never too late to turn back to God. If you ask him to forgive you and to renew your faith, he will be faithful to help you. He is already calling you back to him if you are feeling there is something wrong. God bless you.

P.S. You don't have to quit working to follow God. It almost sounds like you equate having a relationship with Jesus Christ as being an all or nothing endeavor where you have to become totally nonmaterialistic and go in to ministry or become a missionary. Start small, get close to Jesus, and just be thankful for your job. God will bless you in all you do.

 

[whatseekye]

Just remembered a sermon on this topic that could be helpful to you and others. I'll post a couple excertps but you can google for the full text sermon.

BREAKING UP THE FALLOW GROUND

Written by Rev. Charles G. Finney

Break up your follow ground for it is time to seek the Lord till He come and rain righteousness upon you. Hos. 10:12

To break up the fallow ground, is to break up your hearts, to prepare your minds to bring forth fruit unto God. The mind of man is often compared to the ground in the bible. The word of God is the seed sown there, the fruit representing the actions and emotions of those who receive it. To break up the fallow ground therefore, is to bring the mind into such a state that it is fitted to receive the Word of God. Sometimes your hearts get matted down, hard and dry, until there is no such thing as getting fruit from them until they are broken up, and mellowed down, and fitted to the Word. It is this softening of the heart, so as to make it feel the truth, which the prophet calls break up your fallow ground.

(The rest of the Sermon explains how to break up your fallow ground and is very good. I highly recommend it. You can find it using any search engine. Just search "finney sermon breaking fallow ground". I'd post a link but I haven't earned that priveledge here yet.)