Difficulty praying; obsessive thoughts about evil worship

[rahulpatel1985]

Hi. as you can see from the title. I was wondering if anyone else had difficulty praying to GOD, cos of intrusive thoughts etc. and cos after all the ceremonial prayer to "cleanse" oneself, u find it difficult to "feel" GOD again.

Also, has any of you had intrusive thoughts about evil worship? I have them so frequently, it can be so distressing. And I obsess about Them and just now, i was so stressed about one thought and i thought to myself something like "no, that can't be worship of an evil being. For it to be worship of evil it must be something like -" and then i thought of what a thought had to be to be genuinely evil worship. At least, that is what I think happened.

Either that or I got so stressed I ACTUALLY did that act of evil. It's the doubting disease yeah. But this time I think I might have actually done it. I want forgiveness so bad, but it's so difficult to pray. Help!

 

[keryakos]

hey you are worried about whether or not you intended to do it and if you didnt intend it will God count it anyway ?

 

[rahulpatel1985]

i'm worried that i intended to do it. i feel like such a bad person now, and u probably think im a horrible person to have done sth like that, regardless of what i was feeling at that moment. im actually a good person. or at least id like to think so. and it's just so difficult to pray to God. I love him but i just cant do it

 

[keryakos]

i'm worried that i intended to do it. i feel like such a bad person now, and u probably think im a horrible person to have done sth like that, regardless of what i was feeling at that moment. im actually a good person. or at least id like to think so. and it's just so difficult to pray to God. I love him but i just cant do it

i dont think that at all im in a simmilar situation .

 

[kaykay9.0]

This whole thing sounds to me like just what OCD does to a person. It ties you up in knots examining the source of your thoughts etc. Most times the less credence we give to any type of "intrusive thoughts" the more quickly they will go away. The more worry or concern we have about them only increases them. Please just try to recognize the OCD aspect of this and I think it will help you rather than feeling the thoughts have spiritual significance. I truly think you simply dealing with your OCD here.

 

[rahulpatel1985]

yeah but i think the really horrible thing is that i cant seem to pray. I can't feel God as easily as before. After all the ritualized prayer, I cant seem to see him anymore. I think this condition has been described before as "spiritual desolation." Can anyone tell me how to get out of this rut?? :'(

 

[Jules2009]

Dont know if I can be of any help but better trying than not.
I to suffer from forced obsesive thoughts about the most bizare things, like it just isnt from my mind at all and I find it hard to pray in those times or my mind is so full of rubish I just simply forget.
If you are really trying and getting no where, try turning on some worship music and sing along. The enemy hates music. Then when your feeling a bit clearer minded try to pray...or I just had another thought...must be from GOD cause it just hit me...really weird,have to try it myself....ok here goes....try singing your prayers to worship music, when your singing you have more difficulty having intruding thoughts....
wow,why didnt i think of that sooner....ok feel like im going nuts right now...hey theres a smile on my face for the first time in about 3 days...thankyou God.
ok really going now...good luck.