Difficult to find a matching friend!!

[frank1234]

It seems very difficult when you have a chronic illness(including anxiety issues and OCD) to find a good Christian friend that matches you(you know normally if you didn't have those obstacles you would arrange to be at the places that people that share your profile and match who you are hang around and that way you can meet them and contact them and develop a good friendship relationship with them).
How do you go about finding a good friend like that when most of the time you don't even feel good and leave your house?

 

[Recuerdo]

I'm in the same situation as you. Maybe like you, I've been like this for many years. To add to the issues we are faced with, we are now dealing with this so-called pandemic and forced into isolation, thereby extrapolating everything negative.
Before Covid we had Meetup, a social platform that purposed to make real connections possible. Now Meetup still exists, but most groups make it a requirement for attendees to prove their vaccination: to meet up you need the "passport", otherwise the other people would not feel comfortable around you.
So, I don't know anymore. Maybe US is different than New Zealand, maybe there are more open-minded people over there than over here, I don't know.
Try to start from the fellowship of your church.

 

[Tolworth John]

How do you go about finding a good friend like that when most of the time you don't even feel good and leave your house?

I have no easy answers, but like Recuerdo says, start with your church by being as involved as you can and getting to know and make friends with people there.
Talk to your minister can they arrange a 'taxi' service to transport you to and from the church and someone to help you getting into the church and to a suitable seat.

 

[angelsaroundme]

Look for those with common interests or who seem friendly and put yourself out there. People might surprise you.

 

[Mari17]

For me, sometimes it's easier to make friends by doing an activity. A small group or Bible study at church, or a volunteer activity in your church or community might be a good way to connect with people. I really enjoy getting to know people on a deeper level, which sometimes involves doing something more intense than just talking (I've made good friends on overseas missions trips, but working/volunteering/doing a fun activity together might work well, too!).

 

[frank1234]

Ya this is all good, but you missed the part which i mentioned, i have chronic illness and dont feel good most of the time, and i dont even go to my. church(because i dont feel good, and being in a group(like a church) would pressure me so i would get even sicker). The activities you mentioned are for healthy people, not people with chronic illnesses.
The only option, therefore, is online, and that's where the difficulty is to find a good matching friend.

 

[angelsaroundme]

When it comes to making friends online, I'd say it's about finding people with similar experiences, hobbies, or interests. Share about yourself and get to know other people. After a while you might try to private message someone that you have things in common with or they might message you.

 

[Mari17]

Ya this is all good, but you missed the part which i mentioned, i have chronic illness and dont feel good most of the time, and i dont even go to my. church(because i dont feel good, and being in a group(like a church) would pressure me so i would get even sicker). The activities you mentioned are for healthy people, not people with chronic illnesses.
The only option, therefore, is online, and that's where the difficulty is to find a good matching friend.

Yes, that is difficult. I'm not much of an expert at online things. Sometimes I've made online friends, for example, in Facebook groups, but so far I haven't had one that I've met in person.

Are you currently receiving any help for your anxiety/OCD?

 

[frank1234]

Hi, i really dont have much of socializing much, because that's where the anxiety shows itself more. I have very limited conversations over the phone and that's about it. The OCD thing, nothing really has been able to make an impact for some aspects of it,. OCD medication also goes against my health, so i am not taking anything.

 

[Mari17]

Hi, i really dont have much of socializing much, because that's where the anxiety shows itself more. I have very limited conversations over the phone and that's about it. The OCD thing, nothing really has been able to make an impact for some aspects of it,. OCD medication also goes against my health, so i am not taking anything.

What are your current strategies for dealing with your OCD? Do you have religious OCD themes, or other themes too?

 

[frank1234]

Hi. I have tried dealing with OCD for years. Its mostly religeous OCD(scruplucity) in my mind, but some physical stuff too(like checking things before going to bed....). The best i could come close to it was maybe just being free from them for one day, and then the next day they would go back to the same routine( because you have to be able to sustain it until you develope new mental routines, you know). As of now i am kind of stuck, until the next batch of fighting stamina... keep praying for one.
Thanks.

 

[frank1234]

Do you have scrupulosity too?

 

[Hoping]

Hi! I'm new here.

Although I'm mostly OCD-free now, in the past it was intense. I also have other challenges, which may actually be the source of the OCD thoughts, which are largely religion-themed although I would have worried about similar things if I had never even heard of religion.

My in-person friendships are mostly superficial. I've told one person, who remains a friend, but not a close one. I've gotten onto "My Support Forums" and the people there are friendly, although we've never met in person and I don't see any indication that we ever will. The OCD forum there is not active, but if you have another challenge, that thread might be better, and some of those people will probably have OCD too.

 

[frank1234]

Are you talking about "my support forums" in this website or another website? Thanks.

 

[Hoping]

Hi again.

It's a totally different website, that calls itself "My Support Forums."

You're welcome.

 

[Mari17]

Do you have scrupulosity too?

I'm sorry for such a ridiculously late reply. I'm not very good at keeping up on this forum. Yes, I do have scrupulosity...I have for most of my life, along with other OCD themes. I can share some of what has helped me, if you would like!

 

[frank1234]

That's o.k. You actually shared with me some last year and it was helpful. I was just curious whether you suffered from the same thing or not. Thanks.