Differences in Christian Doctrine

[ardeur]

My boyfriend and I didn't come from the same Christian background. We disagree on some doctrine - specifically about the workings of the Holy Spirit which includes speaking in tongues. I believe in it, speak in tongues, and believe there is such a thing as being baptised and annointed in the Holy Spirit. He is skeptical/doubtful (of its existance) and doesn't see the necessity of such things.

Is this a reason that should really concern us? Is it something that may cause marital problems if we were to get married? What do you think? What sort of measures should be taken, if any at all, in our relationship because of this?

 

[AngylBelle]

Personally, I do not think so...not unless you have different views on the ways to bring up your children.

My boyfriend and I had a similar problem...he and I have different views on baptism. We decided that just because we have different "opinions" it doesn't make either of us "right" or "wrong." We put all of our grievances behind us because if it doesn't affect salvation or a "personal" relationship with Christ, then it really isn't important.

We plan to get married and have a family one day and this is something that we were concerned about. We decided to bring the kids up with a Christian "foundation" and teach them there is never only one way to look at something. I truely believe that differences in beliefs are never important unless they conflict with salvation and a proper walk with Christ.

 

[FaithfulServant]

I don't usually take the "its okay to agree to disagree" on most topics when entering a marriage.

The above poster talked about how diiferences in beliefs don't matter unless they conflict with salvation and a proper walk with Christ. It is not uncommon for people who speak tounges to believe that other people who speak in tounges have a "stronger" walk with Christ, or even that it is necessary for salvation. I'm not saying you believe this - but many people at the tounge speaking churches do, and if you choose to go to one of these churches.......

Have y'all decided which church you will attend? I can see how it would be uncomfortable for your future husband to attend a tounge speaking one.

Anyway - back to my original point about agreeing to disagree. Have y'all biblically studied this? Read books, searched the word, prayed? You obviously can't both be right, so one of you is wrong.

My boyfriend and I disgareed on a doctrinal issue and we diligently studied and read books about it for about 8 months, and God finally showed us his truth.

God bless,

Steffani

 

[CDN Red Raider]

I believe in it, speak in tongues, and believe there is such a thing as being baptised and annointed in the Holy Spirit. He is skeptical/doubtful (of its existance) and doesn't see the necessity of such things.

Is this a reason that should really concern us? Is it something that may cause marital problems if we were to get married? What do you think? What sort of measures should be taken, if any at all, in our relationship because of this?

is he skeptical about the existence of speaking in tongues or skeptical about the existenc of the Holy Spirit? Looking over in the 'Spirit Filled' section of these forms, i see a lot of people who associate speaking in tongues with their level of walk in Christ. As you begin to raise a family, you are going to want your children to believe that what you believe is the truth. How will this make the other party feel when one parent is raising the kids to think the other parent is wrong?

 

[CDN Red Raider]

Personally, I do not think so...not unless you have different views on the ways to bring up your children.

My boyfriend and I had a similar problem...he and I have different views on baptism. We decided that just because we have different "opinions" it doesn't make either of us "right" or "wrong." We put all of our grievances behind us because if it doesn't affect salvation or a "personal" relationship with Christ, then it really isn't important.

We plan to get married and have a family one day and this is something that we were concerned about. We decided to bring the kids up with a Christian "foundation" and teach them there is never only one way to look at something. I truely believe that differences in beliefs are never important unless they conflict with salvation and a proper walk with Christ.

How do you mean neither of you are right or wrong? There is only one truth in the universe and that is what God has declared as truth. Therefore you cant both be right. Either you are both wrong or only one of you is wrong. And how do you explain to your children that there is more than one way to look at things? Are you going to tell them truth is relative? Go read the 10 commandments and tell me if those are relative truths. God has declared many many truths thoughout the Bible, non of which are relative. 'For all have sinned'. 'I am the way...no man comes to the Father but by me.' 'Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved'. Which of these is a relative truth since truth is all dependant upon how you look at it? Most of the time, there is not many ways to look at things. The only way to look at things is the way God views it. God's standard dont change with circumstance and time. Would you also claim that denying the truths of Christ would not affect your walk with him?

 

[AngylBelle]

My boyfriend and I have our own private Bible study once a week to discuss things like this. We agree that there are varying interpretations of the Bible and while I may take one thing one way, it may mean something else to him. As far as the speaking in tongues...neither of us believe that makes a person better with Christ. We are all equals in the eyes of the Lord and no Christian is better than the other. Conservatives can't seem to handle this fact. And the ten commandments are law, and cannot be taken any other way, whereas a lot of scripture was meant to reach readers on an intimate and personal level. And yes, there is more than one way to think. Man is incapable of "knowing" the way. We can be the best we can be and live with the same Christian fundamentals but to preach there is only a certain way to have a relationship with Christ and a certain way to be a "real" Christian is utterly ridiculous. No one has any right to judge another's relationship with God and there is always a common ground to be found.

 

[FaithfulServant]

My boyfriend and I have our own private Bible study once a week to discuss things like this. We agree that there are varying interpretations of the Bible and while I may take one thing one way, it may mean something else to him. As far as the speaking in tongues...neither of us believe that makes a person better with Christ. We are all equals in the eyes of the Lord and no Christian is better than the other. Conservatives can't seem to handle this fact. And the ten commandments are law, and cannot be taken any other way, whereas a lot of scripture was meant to reach readers on an intimate and personal level. And yes, there is more than one way to think. Man is incapable of "knowing" the way. We can be the best we can be and live with the same Christian fundamentals but to preach there is only a certain way to have a relationship with Christ and a certain way to be a "real" Christian is utterly ridiculous. No one has any right to judge another's relationship with God and there is always a common ground to be found.

Lets not make generalizations about conservatives, lets plllllease keep your political views out of this, it is unnecessary.

Truth is not relative to time, situation, persons, places or things! Truth is Absolute! Truth is unchanging, constant and without a mixture of error. In fact, truth is not a thing or a philosophy to be discovered…Truth is a Person to be known. Truth is God Himself, the Blessed Trinity: God the Father, God the Son (the Lord Jesus Christ) and God the Holy Spirit. "…If you abide in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." [John 8:31&32]

"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of God shall stand forever." [Isaiah 40:8]

"…I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me." [John 14:6]


Truth can be known by knowing God through Jesus Christ as presented by the Holy Spirit to each searching heart who is willing to give up the false identity of "being god", and submit to the only True God.

"Father, … glorify Thy Son, that the Son may glorify Thee, even as Thou gavest Him authority over all mankind, that to all whom Thou hast given Him, He may give eternal life. And this is eternal life, that they may know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou has sent."
[John 17:1b-3]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] "But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He shall glorify Me (Jesus); for He shall take of Mine, and shall disclose it to you."
[John 16:13&14] [/font]

 

[FaithfulServant]

Here's an excerpt from an article:

"A different view is held by Christianity: there is an absolute standard of reference and against it everyone and everything is measured. This ultimate and absolute standard is God. He has sufficiently revealed Himself in the Bible where we learn that He is the Truth and speaks truthfully. We read, for instance, that: "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind..." (Numbers 23:19). And elsewhere, it says it is "... impossible for God to lie..." (Hebrews 6:18, cf. Titus 1:2). This means that even if He wanted to, God cannot lie. Jesus in John 14:6 did not say that He is just another carrier of truth; He said that He is Truth itself. This means that for God, truth and reality are fixed. He does not say this today and then unsays it tomorrow. He does not give a commandment and then tells man, "Just apply it as you see fit." His Word is final and His standards absolute. Psalm 119:89 says: "Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens."

"What, then, are the differences between relative truth and absolute truth?

​

First, while absolute Truth is independent and immutable (unchanging), relative Truth is dependent on the situation and the individual, and changes with circumstances. This makes it extremely difficult to depend on because it is dependent itself.

​

Second, while absolute Truth meets the logical tests of systematic consistency, experiential relevance and empirical adequacy, relative Truth is self-stultifying. By this I mean that absolute Truth stands the test of Non-contradiction but relative Truth does not and cannot - it contradicts itself and so destroys itself. One cannot even make the statement "All truth is relative" without contradicting himself. Why? Because it is an absolute statement declaring the non-existence of absolutes like itself. It is like the ancient Hindu saying, "He who speaks does not know and he who knows does not speak." And yet since the one who posited the statement spoke, the statement goes round his neck and strangles him, because if he knew, he would not have spoken. He "does not know" because he spoke to tell us that. And thus, the denial of absolutes is self-destructing."
​

The whole article can be found here: http://www.wtmkenya.org/apologetics/ap7.htm

 

[Sketcher]

As someone who came out of a Christian home, I can tell you right now that two people NEED to be unified on what to teach their children, and their children need a solid foundation, not the quicksand of the free-thinkers' approach. Real disagreements on issues as fundamental as faith and politics can definitely confuse the child and even tear the him or her apart. When my parents were raising me, they only had two disagreements on what to teach me, but that was bad enough.

I think it's great that you couples are reading God's word together to find the truth. This is the right thing to do, and you'll have to come to common ground on everything. It's not just a matter of love and tolerance, it's a matter of partnership. I may love and tolerate a brother or sister who has a different conviction than me, but I would never raise a child with them. When you feel that someone - anyone - is telling your children lies in order to shape them, it becomes your business.

 

[mercyztestimony]

As someone who came out of a Christian home, I can tell you right now that two people NEED to be unified on what to teach their children,

I'm just curious about this...what if two people agree on everything theologically at the time they get married, but then as their walk with the Lord progresses, they begin to disagree? Would God necessarily teach them both the same things at the same time?

 

[ardeur]

is he skeptical about the existence of speaking in tongues or skeptical about the existenc of the Holy Spirit? Looking over in the 'Spirit Filled' section of these forms, i see a lot of people who associate speaking in tongues with their level of walk in Christ. As you begin to raise a family, you are going to want your children to believe that what you believe is the truth. How will this make the other party feel when one parent is raising the kids to think the other parent is wrong?

He believes the Holy Spirit exists, but is skeptical about the existancve of speaking in tongues. He has never wittnessed it before.

Personally, I do not believe the gift of "speaking in tongues" makes someone a better Christian. I believe it is a gift and tool given to us by the Holy Spirit - one of many. My boyfriend has never expressed to me that he thinks my belief in the gift of tongues is wrong. He just has never seen it.

We have never visted a "charismatic" or "pentacostal" church together, and he is not at all opposed to doing so with me. I have not been a member of a pentacostal church in quite some time becuase I have been very happy with the Calvary Chapel church I have been attending. Being a member of a Pentacostal church isn't important to me. My gift of speaking in tongues is a personal thing and I only use it in my own prayer life.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm just curious about this...what if two people agree on everything theologically at the time they get married, but then as their walk with the Lord progresses, they begin to disagree? Would God necessarily teach them both the same things at the same time?

If they are a Godly couple, first they will talk about it. Second, the husband especially will need to consider the "new" POV and compare it to Scripture (since one of his jobs as a Christian husband is to teach and sanctify her, according to Ephesians 5:26-27). Third, when children come along, they will definitely have to talk and agree on what to teach their kids and what not to.

And in the interest of unity between man and wife, I believe God would be very judicious about teaching one parter one thing and the other partner something completely different, especially on a fundamental issue. God wants to bring husbands and wives closer together, not further apart - Satan is the one who wants to split up marraiges.

 

[SirKenin]

I don't think your spiritual differences matter as long as you are on the same spiritual plane, if you know what I mean. What matters is how you deal with those differences. Does it lead to fruitful, calm, rational productive discussions with both sides agreeing to disagree where necessary, or does it result in bitterness, strife and arguments?

It's all in how you deal with the differences. Personally I don't believe speaking in tongues is legitimate. There are no more gifts of the spirit since Bible times. We have been told that there won't be anymore until the return of Christ. I know the Pentecostals believe in it, and I have seen the same happen in their church, but it does not sit with what the Bible teaches us. So, when I compare it to what the Bible has to say as we are told to do, I can only conclude that it is as a result of demons, not the Holy Spirit.

Anyways, you need to discuss the differences, work them out in some fashion and agree to disagree. Live and let live as they say.

 

[FaithfulServant]

SirKenin - why would you agree to disagree when you know that one or both of you hold a false belief?

Like TwistedSketch said - the husband is to teach and sanctify his wife (Ephesians 5:26-27) so he wouldn't be doing a very good job of that if he just let her believe whatever and they didn't agree.

 

[InTheFlame]

SirKenin - why would you agree to disagree when you know that one or both of you hold a false belief?

Like TwistedSketch said - the husband is to teach and sanctify his wife (Ephesians 5:26-27) so he wouldn't be doing a very good job of that if he just let her believe whatever and they didn't agree.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:25-28

FS - doesn't this passage talk about giving up oneself (making sacrifices, even to giving up one's life) and leading by example, NOT dictating to one's spouse what she may or may not believe?

My husband and I don't agree on everything. While we challenge each other when we think the other is falling into error, we do it in love and humility - and don't assume that lack of agreement is always a bad thing. I can't think of any verse that tells us a woman should always agree, or adjust her thinking, to her husband's opinion... which is what you seem to be saying. I acknowledge I could just be reading you wrong

 

[Sketcher]

FS - doesn't this passage talk about giving up oneself (making sacrifices, even to giving up one's life) and leading by example, NOT dictating to one's spouse what she may or may not believe?

It definitely includes that, but another aspect of it is making sure she knows the truth. And if the wife came up with something that is contrary to what she believed before, the husband had better take it to Scripture and prayer to see if she is right or not. After all, they could have both been wrong before, but it's his job to find that out. As head of the household, one of his duties is to be on top of things like that.

My husband and I don't agree on everything. While we challenge each other when we think the other is falling into error, we do it in love and humility - and don't assume that lack of agreement is always a bad thing.

Good.

 

[SirKenin]

SirKenin - why would you agree to disagree when you know that one or both of you hold a false belief?

How do you know which one of you is right? I mean, look at here in the forums. People twist any passage to mean anything. So it can be in any relationship. I think that if you are both on the same spiritual plain than you are both partners in Christ. Your doctrine doesn't matter, the same as here.

 

[FaithfulServant]

FS - doesn't this passage talk about giving up oneself (making sacrifices, even to giving up one's life) and leading by example, NOT dictating to one's spouse what she may or may not believe?

My husband and I don't agree on everything. While we challenge each other when we think the other is falling into error, we do it in love and humility - and don't assume that lack of agreement is always a bad thing. I can't think of any verse that tells us a woman should always agree, or adjust her thinking, to her husband's opinion... which is what you seem to be saying. I acknowledge I could just be reading you wrong

You are reading me wrong my dear. I am saying that it is one thing to not agree on something insignificant - but when it comes to teaching your children doctrinal issues I would like for my husband and I to agree on what to teach our children. I don't believe that just because I will be the wife that means I'm wrong - both should pray and examine other parts of scripture to compare. Both parties can't be right - either one is wrong or they are both wrong.

The Bible contains absolute truths, there is no way around this. If people interpret thing 'differently' and by differently I mean oppositely or opposingly, they are not both correct. I would never agree to disagree and just give up and say we will never agree. If it is obvious one or both of us is wrong. Like I stated earlier - there was something my boyfriend and I did not agree on and we studied it for almost a year prayerfully and God showed us his truth. Seek and you will find

 

[CDN Red Raider]

I still maintain my stance that when a husband and wife have conflicting views over doctrine, it will cause tension because it will lead to the children being taught what at least one person does not believe is the truth. What decent parent can knowing let their children be taught what they believe is wrong and be happy with it.

I agree with those above that the position of the husband in a relationship is to challlenge any doctrine and prove from scripture what is right. I recognize that those who believe in a relative truth cannot say that scripture can be right because that would mean someone could be wrong which they also cant admit. unfortunantly for them, scripture declares what is right and wrong. in the Word of God, there is an absolute right and wrong, and an absolutely true idea of what God whats for us. I can't imagine that any loving parent would be willing to sit idle by and let their children be led to believe what they should know from scripture as wrong and thats whats going to happen when a couple disagrees about doctrine. one may be wrong or both may be wrong, but ultimately, one will feel the children are being taught a lie.

 

[InTheFlame]

Hmmm... what if your spouse believes that it is wrong to eat meat from the only butcher in town, because he's a pagan and may be dedicating the meat to idols... and you believe that it's fine to buy and eat his meat? Which one of you is doctrinally correct, and how would you prove this by scripture? And having proved which person is correct, what do you do? Buy meat from him, or not?