difference between secular and christian advice

[f U z ! o N]

do any of you get sick of some of the advice you get from secular people who just don't understand God? i know i do. sometimes, i took their advice and made some dumb decisions in my relationship. I have also gotten bad advice from christians. But i get annoyed when getting advice from people who just don't know how God works or who are Christians yet live a lukewarm faith.

anyone else have a hard time with this?
how should we know when advice is good?

 

[MN John]

Compare the advice to ...
- What you read in scripture.
- What the Holy Spirit lays on your heart.
- What well-grounded, devout, mature Christians tell you.
- What your circumstances dictate.
- What your own logic tells you.

When all these "witnesses" coincide, we can be sure that the advice is sound and Godly.

 

[f U z ! o N]

well what do you do if your parents are not devout Christians? they never go to church but i know they are saved

 

[f U z ! o N]

well what do you do when your parents are not devout Christians? they never go to church!

 

[ChildOfGod20]

yeah i know what you mean. i usually don't end up taking advice from non christians just bc of the lack of understanding. also, my step dad is a christian but not a passionate christian like me and my boyfriend. so sometimes he'll give us advice on life that doesn't seem very christianlike and its hard cause he's 50 and thinks he's learned everything there is to know about life, and i'm only 20 and don't know anything. but i have people that i go to for advice bc i know that they have good, Godly advice. the other ppl who give me advice i listen to what they have to say and compare it to what God says in the Bible.

 

[Sketcher]

It's a broken record with them. Their emphasis will be on "hitting it" and their advice will revolve around that.

 

[Leanna]

This is what I would "advise" when looking for advice, heehee.

Find people who's marriages are solid, not to say that they don't have struggles or that they haven't gone through major overhauls, but people who have been married long enough to go through both the ups and the downs..... and ask THEM. Whether they are Christian or not, they will have far better advice than those who are only dating, or not married long enough to have had any major struggles and pulled through.

I mean, I listen to everyone's advice, but I always get the most solid mature answers from people who have been married for 10 years(or more.... or even 5 years is long enough), have 2 children(or more or less, this is just an example of the kind of person I mean), and both parties are stable, respectful and loving individuals. They are worth seeking out for advice or just watching for tips and ideas.

I am a part of a local natural family living group and I pay close attention to what the older married ladies say, and this is a secular group with both Christians and non Christians. I haven't really found much of a difference in their approaches in the long run.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Yes, I have received unsolicitated bad advice lately from women in their early 60's who identify themselves as Catholics. One lady said I should not remarry because I have kids and can't trust another man around my kids. She said I should just have a boyfriend and have sex if I want. The other said I should have sex with the man before we marry to make sure we are compatible. (She is not happy with her marriage, but it involves more than sex.)

If I was looking for an excuse to have sex I could latch on to their advice. I know better. I don't have to look any further than my experiences and conscience to tell me they are wrong.

 

[Leanna]

One lady said I should not remarry because I have kids and can't trust another man around my kids. She said I should just have a boyfriend and have sex if I want. The other said I should have sex with the man before we marry to make sure we are compatible. (She is not happy with her marriage, but it involves more than sex.)

I do believe this does not meet my criteria:

I always get the most solid mature answers from people who have been married for 10 years ... where both parties are stable, respectful and loving individuals.

just my opinion of course..... but that was in case you were responding to me by saying that long term married people have no clue. Long term unhappily/unsuccessfully married people-- that's a different situation.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I do believe this does not meet my criteria:



just my opinion of course..... but that was in case you were responding to me by saying that long term married people have no clue. Long term unhappily/unsuccessfully married people-- that's a different situation.

Who me? My post wasn't directed towards you at all. I was shocked at what my co-workers were saying to me. My point is that if you're looking for excuses to do something it's pretty easy to find someone who will make you feel better about it.

 

[Leanna]

Who me? My post wasn't directed towards you at all. I was shocked at what my co-workers were saying to me. My point is that if you're looking for excuses to do something it's pretty easy to find someone who will make you feel better about it.

Yes that is a good point.

 

[Chan1976]

I get good and crappy advice from both Christians and non-Christians alike; non-Christians can be good, moral people (sometimes more than some Christians I know), so yea, I take their advice all the time, as long as it doesn't conflict with what I believe. My mum is a non-Christian, and she gives me the best advice on relationships.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

do any of you get sick of some of the advice you get from secular people who just don't understand God? i know i do. sometimes, i took their advice and made some dumb decisions in my relationship. I have also gotten bad advice from christians. But i get annoyed when getting advice from people who just don't know how God works or who are Christians yet live a lukewarm faith.

anyone else have a hard time with this?
how should we know when advice is good?

I do also. I was talking with my DH about this just the other day. I have a high standard of who I will accept advice from, and who I will allow in my life to influence me. It is not b/c I think I am high and mighty, but b/c I know I am weak and will stumble if not careful. How to know when advice is good? First look at the scriptures, does it line up or does it contradict? Next look at their motives. Are they trying to give you advice that will make you happy at all costs, or are they giving you advice that will make God happy at all costs?

 

[chi_rho]

yeah pretty much the same, i get good and bad advice from both christians and non christians and you know why cos we are all human
and in my opinion and basically from my experiances non christians can be just as wise as christians

and ive learnt to avoid the problem of listning to people just to make me feel better i dont rely on advice or at least i try to avoid it. also people can go through similar circumstances as you but they cant be in the exact circumstance because each human feels diffrent, reacts diffrent and acts diffrent so thats another reason i take advice lightly.

cheers beers

 

[ahmunmun]

Personally, I almost never take advice. I find that most of the problems I go through in life are too unique to be understood by other people, since most of them have not been in my shoes.

Actually, I have learned to be more reliant on God due to the bad advice I've gotten! God has shown me that He alone understands my situation. To those who have been getting bad advice, I advise you to pray. The more you pray, the better you become at hearing God. I say this from experience.

 

[bliz]

God is the only one a corner on the truth and with perfect wisdom.

I like to think that Christians have the inside track on being closer to it than non-Christians. No, I guess I believe it if we add the word SHOULD. Christians SHOULD have greater access to the truth.

Alas, I have not found it always to be true. Some of the people who have been most helpful to me have not been Christians. Alas, again!