Did You Wait?

[TriptychR]

I am a single virgin who wants to wait until marriage to have sex. However, when I look at married people's urgings for singles to remain celibate, it seems their reasons are a lot less of "I was so happy that I waited!" than "Don't make the same mistake I did."

Does virgin marriage realistically exist anymore, or is it too much of a rarity? I'm not asking this to look for an excuse to go off and have sex before marriage, but sometimes I get the feeling that my odds of finding anyone as a virgin are ridiculously low. I feel like the longer I go, the more women my age make the decision to lose their virginity. Once that happens, who wants to be with someone who wants to wait? It's either too lame or too shameful.

So really, what's the score out there?

 

[beehoney]

No, but I still think I should have.

 

[GutterRat]

I am a single virgin who wants to wait until marriage to have sex. However, when I look at married people's urgings for singles to remain celibate, it seems their reasons are a lot less of "I was so happy that I waited!" than "Don't make the same mistake I did."

Does virgin marriage realistically exist anymore, or is it too much of a rarity? I'm not asking this to look for an excuse to go off and have sex before marriage, but sometimes I get the feeling that my odds of finding anyone as a virgin are ridiculously low. I feel like the longer I go, the more women my age make the decision to lose their virginity. Once that happens, who wants to be with someone who wants to wait? It's either too lame or too shameful.

So really, what's the score out there?

Nope, didn't wait - wish I had.

 

[shainamsu]

i might be in the minority here, but i didn't wait and i don't regret it. before you start looking for my religion icon, hear me out:

my husband is the only person that i've ever been with. we DID wait until after we were engaged to have sex, just not until after the actual ceremony. and it wasn't a "heat of the moment" thing, it was something that we both talked about at length and thought about for a long time before we did it.

looking back, it was pretty painful the first time, and the next time, and the next... and i'm just glad that i didn't have to go through that on my wedding night, when i wanted to be enjoying sex.

i'm not at all advocating sex before marriage, but for me, i did not wait and if i had to do it over again, i would make the same decision.

 

[Singin4Him]

sometimes I get the feeling that my odds of finding anyone as a virgin are ridiculously low. QUOTE]
That is just not accurate. I know a great deal of people who waited and are still waiting. My husband and I were virgins as well. I am SO SO grateful that I waited for my husband, there is nothing greater than being with someone in marriage and knowing that person is your only. Premarital sex will never give that same fulfillment, ever. Yes it may physically feel good and create an emotional attachment but that is nothing like the bond between a husband and wife.

I would also like to add that those who have chosen premarital sex before they marry have a higher divorce rate so that alone should tell you something.

 

[Lena75]

Yes, we waited.

 

[TriptychR]

A lot of people say they regret having had sex before marriage, and I'm sure they honestly do, but the fact of the matter is that they're the ones that are now married. Has sex become almost a requirement to know whether to marry someone?

 

[~ Gig ~]

No, wish i had.

 

[4jacks]

Dude some times the best advice comes from hypocrites....


You don't bad kids and have Good Sucessful People tell them not to do drugs and not to commit crimes.


You take those Bad kids and you stick them in Jail, and you let those drug addicted convicts look them in the eyes and tell them not to do drugs and not to commit crimes.


Yes, nowadays finding a 21 year old Christian virgin is Hard, Maybe that is not who the lord has set aside for you. You should keep in mind that you should be able to forgive you wife of previous sins, before she met you or even before she knew the lord. God has forgiven her.


I would suggest looking for a Christian gurl who is currently abstaining regardless of her past.

 

[GutterRat]

Has sex become almost a requirement to know whether to marry someone?

I don't think so. My wife wasn't my first. I was her first. We did have sex prior to our wedding - but we actually STOPPED having sex after we were engaged because we knew it was wrong. Our wedding night was very special because of that - but not as special as it could've been.

I wish I would've saved myself for her. We've talked about it before - she forgives me & loves me. That's what counts.

If you meet someone that has the "sex before marriage" requirement - is that someone you really want to marry? I mean, she's going around "taste testing" everything before she commits? Marriage is sooooo much more than sex.

 

[JimfromOhio]

I wished I waited. I didn't realized how much damage by having sex before marriage. Sex is really about the image of God. A Christian man and a Christian woman becoming One with God. All three into one. Wow... What an amazing picture !!!

 

[Oblivious]

Well, I waited for the "right" guy, but didn't wait until marriage.

 

[LynnMcG]

No I did not, and it's my only regret in life. I didn't abstain, because honestly - no one told me to. Sex was just something you did when you were "going out" with someone. It just happened a few weeks into your relationship. But I wasn't saved until the year before my wedding and by then we'd abstained for 14 months because we were 3,000 miles apart!

I regret giving myself to men who I thought cared for me...who in all honesty, thought they cared for me too. I agree with 4Jacks on this, learn from the hypocrites.

 

[redwing030]

Nope, I didn't and regret it everyday. I wasn't saved until 11 months before my husband and I married. Unfortunately, even after I was saved I didn't put my foot down and abstain. I do think that it has harmed our sex life as a married couple. I know that God has forgiven us but it still isn't something I can forget that it happened.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

My husband was a 29-year-old virgin when I married him. He's glad he waited.

I lost my virginity in my teens, and regretted it and repented for it. So by the time I married my husband, I had been celebate for about 11 years.

I know several people who were virgins when they married. I know one couple who saved their first kiss for their wedding. Afterward, they said it was definitely worth it!

 

[JimfromOhio]

I know that God has forgiven us but it still isn't something I can forget that it happened.

That's my problem too... you will remember your former sex partners for the rest of your life until the day you physically died. However, I am very thankful that I am forgiven.

 

[jazzbird]

A lot of people say they regret having had sex before marriage, and I'm sure they honestly do, but the fact of the matter is that they're the ones that are now married. Has sex become almost a requirement to know whether to marry someone?

Basing a marriage on whether or not the sex is great isn't the best idea, and it isn't going to determine your marital success. The world's mentality of making sure you're "sexually compatible" before marriage is certainly not God's plan for us. And if it's not God's plan, than it's not the best.

I wasn't a virgin when I married, but my husband and I did wait until marriage. The biggest regret of my life is being in sexual sin in a previous relationship. Once the Lord brought me out of that sin I knew that it was something that needed to wait for marriage and I understood so much more clearly why. It will never, ever be worth it. I robbed my husband and myself of something that should have been between only the two of us. I disobeyed God in favor of my own sinful desires. I have never once regretted waiting to be with my husband until we were married. Never.

I know that the extent of remorse can be difficult to understand when you're on the other side of the fence, I didn't understand it either.

And I know it can be so difficult, but you can trust the Lord in this. He is so pleased with you for guarding your purity. He wants the best for you, and He will give you just what you need.

 

[rodimus321]

Yes, we waited.

That is awesome.

I did not but my wife did. I really wish I had. Sin has its consequences even if we are forgiven. I don't know if others can relate to this but because my wife waited she has some kind of connection to me that is very strong I still have it for her but it is not nearly as strong as hers. I have heard others say the same thing about their marriages when one did not wait.

 

[GutterRat]

I can't believe the stats - majority have not. Wow. Not sure why - but that is a surprise to me.

 

[JimfromOhio]

I can't believe the stats - majority have not. Wow. Not sure why - but that is a surprise to me.

I am not surprised. I had conversations with Christian guys about the topic. They wished they waited. Some of them hated the fact that they (by nature) are "comparing" their wives sexual responses with their former lovers. So, its a major issue. We need to tell our young people to WAIT !!! My wife and I are teaching our kids "to WAIT" and we explained why. We even told them our experiences. Hopefully they listened. Now.. its up to them to wait or not.