Did we give poor advice?

[mama2one]

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[A_Thinker]

If the kid wants to go that's great, but is it right to drag him there against his will?

Kids are required to do lots of things against their will.

How many kids would attend school ... if it were a choice for them ?

 

[Waymarker]

Kids are required to do lots of things against their will.
How many kids would attend school ... if it were a choice for them ?

What if a school is no good, for example is some teachers are trying to influence kids with their own anti-christian propaganda?
I never had kids, but if I had, I would have kept a close eye on their schools, and if the school didn't shape up i'd have transferred them to a better school, or even home-schooled them myself..

 

[Waymarker]

..a HS friend of mine was NEVER taken to church as the parents left it up to the kids
guess what? she's an atheist

On the other hand no doubt some kids deliberately become atheists to spite their parents for dragging them off to church against their will..

 

[SkyWriting]

Some years ago a young teenager came into an AOL 'Religious Discussion' chatroom and told us he hated being dragged off to church by his parents every sunday, so me and a few other adults advised him to refuse pointblank to go.
Apparently his parents must have later complained to AOL about us for giving "bad advice", and we were gently warned by an AOL Host to watch our step in future..
Were we in the wrong or what?

Disobedience to parents is breaking a commandment, punishable by death from stoning in public.
Granted, local laws prohibit this now. But your advice has no grounding.

 

[Waymarker]

Another true story- During a spell of unemployment some years ago, the Jobcentre put me and a bunch of other unemployed men and women on their 'Project Work' course which assigned us to doing various unpaid community work like helping in charity shops, doing countryside conservation work, building work etc, and they assigned me to do refurbishment work on the roof of a local building that was being used as a Hindu temple, but I refused pointblank to do it and they cut my dole money as punishment to try to force me to change my mind.
But I stood my ground and they backed down, and switched me to another group doing conservation work..
What would CF members have done in my place, would they have helped refurbish a nonchristian temple?

 

[Waymarker]

Disobedience to parents is breaking a commandment, punishable by death from stoning in public.
Granted, local laws prohibit this now. But your advice has no grounding.

If parents were paragons of virtue that'd be fine, but sadly many couldn't properly parent a pet cockatoo let alone a child..
True story-
As a kid I overheard my dad saying to my mam about me- "He's nutty! No don't laugh, I really do mean it, he wastes all his pocket money on silly plastic model aeroplanes then hangs 'em on string from his bedroom ceiling in full view of the street, I dread to think what the neighbours are saying about him, when's he going to grow up and start saving his money instead?"
Perhaps he'd have preferred it if I'd joined the local street gang and run wild with them instead of sitting quietly up in my room building models?
PS- he's been dead now for 40 years but I still build models, I've currently got my eye on a "Star Trek Shuttlecraft" down the local model shop, how about it Spock?

"Fascinating"

 

[SkyWriting]

If parents were paragons of virtue that'd be fine, but sadly many couldn't properly parent a pet cockatoo let alone a child.

The question being, are children better served by meth addict parents or strangers.
Most often, parents.

 

[SkyWriting]

On the other hand no doubt some kids deliberately become atheists to spite their parents for dragging them off to church against their will..

And the kids will drag their own kids off to other "better" activities of their own choosing. The kids get the message that the parents care, and it really doesn't matter how they care.

Your advice to kids to disobey adults was quite wrong.

 

[Waymarker]

..Your advice to kids to disobey adults was quite wrong.

If parents give kids bad advice they deserve to be disobeyed..
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12)

 

[SkyWriting]

If parents give kids bad advice they deserve to be disobeyed..
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12)

You might raise your kids that way if you wish, but it has no support.

Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Exodus 21:15
“Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death.

Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Ephesians 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2 Timothy 3:2
For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

Leviticus 20:9
For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him.

 

[A_Thinker]

What if a school is no good, for example is some teachers are trying to influence kids with their own anti-christian propaganda?

I never had kids, but if I had, I would have kept a close eye on their schools, and if the school didn't shape up i'd have transferred them to a better school, or even home-schooled them myself..

Schools are, generally, good ... and a benefit to a child's development. Obviously, it should not be a bad school ... and, sometimes, home-schooling might be the best alternative.

Of course, this brings us back to your complaint about parents ...

 

[A_Thinker]

As a kid I overheard my dad saying to my mam about me- "He's nutty! No don't laugh, I really do mean it, he wastes all his pocket money on silly plastic model aeroplanes then hangs 'em on string from his bedroom ceiling in full view of the street, I dread to think what the neighbours are saying about him, when's he going to grow up and start saving his money instead?"

Perhaps he'd have preferred it if I'd joined the local street gang and run wild with them instead of sitting quietly up in my room building models?

This is not really that bad, ... and rather typical. There will be times that a parent's view of their child's proclivities ... will be bewilderment. That's because people (including parents and kids) are different, ... and part of parenting/maturing ... is learning to accept the differences that make us all special in our own way.

Good families make it work, ... despite not completely understanding one another ... which takes time ...

 

[A_Thinker]

On the other hand no doubt some kids deliberately become atheists to spite their parents for dragging them off to church against their will..

People become atheists ... because they don't wish to have a relationship with God.

Parents may help or hinder in this decision, ... but, ultimately, it will be up to the individual ...

 

[A_Thinker]

If parents give kids bad advice they deserve to be disobeyed..
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12)

As long as we keep in mind that God is the ultimate judge of what advice is "good" or "bad", this is reasonable.

In the main, however, God's command is that children obey their parents.

Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

 

[Allen of the Cross]

From my experiences growing up listening to my dad talk about Jesus, going through a painful divorce where I lost him, then being sent to a church that hated me and my sister, when we were like, 10, let me see if I can give any advice on giving advice.

A child of a Christian should be raised to love Jesus. Whatever parenting techniques are used, the love of Jesus should be in a child's heart. This should not be done by force or coercion or merely hoping sending them to church will make a Christian out of them, but should be done through gentle teachings, loving testimonies, family prayers, and such things. Answer a child's questions. Even the hard ones. I had big questions and had no one to answer them.

My dad instilled a love in me for Jesus when I was a child. After being spiritually abused by a local church, i fell away from the faith for about a decade. Afterwards, when i started having spiritual experiences i could only understand through the Christian belief, all that i had been taught about Jesus was like a seed in my mind that grew me into a Christian today. Now I am in love with Jesus, and I thank God and my earthly dad every day for all that led me to follow Jesus presently.

Forcing a child - or anyone, for that matter - to follow Christ will only result in broken hearts. A child should be lovingly taught about Jesus the Creator and Savior. A child should not feel stress or pressure in serving Jesus.

If a child is raised to love Jesus, even if they fall away, if they ever hit rock bottom like I did, returning back to Jesus will be rather natural.

That said, your advice wasn't bad. There are a number of reasons why a child would not feel welcome in a modern church. A local SBC affiliated church called me stupid, told me I stunk, and made fun of me for being a child of a divorce. Needless to say, if my child felt even an ounce uncomfortable going to a church, I would not force them to go. Being a Christian does not come from sitting in a church once a week. It is a decision to let go of this world and follow Jesus. That does not come through force.

Parenting is one of the most sensitive subjects on the face of the planet, so I mean no offence, but I feel some Christian parents take the wrong approach, when I'm living proof of an approach that worked for me. Gentle and kind, loving and caring, unforceful. I was raised to think for myself, instead of being told what to think. That worked wonderfully for me. Jesus be with us all

 

[angelsaroundme]

I've seen adults who resented God and the church because they were forced to attend when they were young. So, I don't believe it was necessarily bad advice. However, another option instead of no church at all, would be for them to attend church less often or try a different church. Maybe if they went somewhere else, they would have made friends and felt more at home. The first church I tried didn't really work for me.

 

[A_Thinker]

From my experiences growing up listening to my dad talk about Jesus, going through a painful divorce where I lost him, then being sent to a church that hated me and my sister, when we were like, 10, let me see if I can give any advice on giving advice.

A child of a Christian should be raised to love Jesus. Whatever parenting techniques are used, the love of Jesus should be in a child's heart. This should not be done by force or coercion or merely hoping sending them to church will make a Christian out of them, but should be done through gentle teachings, loving testimonies, family prayers, and such things. Answer a child's questions. Even the hard ones. I had big questions and had no one to answer them.

My dad instilled a love in me for Jesus when I was a child. After being spiritually abused by a local church, i fell away from the faith for about a decade. Afterwards, when i started having spiritual experiences i could only understand through the Christian belief, all that i had been taught about Jesus was like a seed in my mind that grew me into a Christian today. Now I am in love with Jesus, and I thank God and my earthly dad every day for all that led me to follow Jesus presently.

Forcing a child - or anyone, for that matter - to follow Christ will only result in broken hearts. A child should be lovingly taught about Jesus the Creator and Savior. A child should not feel stress or pressure in serving Jesus.

If a child is raised to love Jesus, even if they fall away, if they ever hit rock bottom like I did, returning back to Jesus will be rather natural.

That said, your advice wasn't bad. There are a number of reasons why a child would not feel welcome in a modern church. A local SBC affiliated church called me stupid, told me I stunk, and made fun of me for being a child of a divorce. Needless to say, if my child felt even an ounce uncomfortable going to a church, I would not force them to go. Being a Christian does not come from sitting in a church once a week. It is a decision to let go of this world and follow Jesus. That does not come through force.

Parenting is one of the most sensitive subjects on the face of the planet, so I mean no offence, but I feel some Christian parents take the wrong approach, when I'm living proof of an approach that worked for me. Gentle and kind, loving and caring, unforceful. I was raised to think for myself, instead of being told what to think. That worked wonderfully for me. Jesus be with us all

My parents took us to church from the time we were born ... AND ... made sure that we understood that our own faith was our own decision.

The six of us ALL grew up to be lovers of Jesus ... AND decided that it was important to expose our own kids to faith in God, as well ...

 

[Allen of the Cross]

My parents took us to church from the time we were born ... AND ... made sure that we understood that our own faith was our own decision.

The six of us ALL grew up to be lovers of Jesus ... AND decided that it was important to expose our own kids to faith in God, as well ...

Hello A Thinker. Our lives were very different then. By the time I was 6 my parents were divorced, and when I went to church at age 9, I was mentally abused by them, for whom I pray that God will open their eyes and they seek repentance and God's grace. I did not have two Christian parents or a loving church to call home. My mom's side of the family did not want us to serve God and our church we were sent to tried to lock us out of God's Kingdom.

I am a living testimony against that congregation that God will save whom He will save, and that no man can stop God's mighty works. If God had not directly intervened in my life, I would be lost today. Thankfully, I learned who Jesus is, and learned to love Him at a young age. That said, it's best to teach your children yourself the truth, because there are an amazing number of false teachers in the world today. I have learned personally that the devil wants to destroy children. Divorce is really a horrible thing. But God is good

Sunday services usually last a few hours. There are 168 hours in a week. A child's best teacher is the parent, who spends way more time around them.

I also understand that different people are different. Different personalities, circumstances, environments, lessons learned, and so on shape us all into the people we are. A one size fits all approach to parenting will not work with everyone. It's easy to teach a standard of perfection in people's lives and circumstances, but perfection is hard to find in this world. 1/2 of marriages in the US end in divorce. It's easy to see why there are so many broken people in this country.

It is always best to treat each other with kindness and humility, which I hope I have shown to you today. If not, I apologize, I am a fiery person in heart, haha! I hope you have a nice day, A Thinker. God be with you.

 

[A_Thinker]

Hello A Thinker. Our lives were very different then. By the time I was 6 my parents were divorced, and when I went to church at age 9, I was mentally abused by them, for whom I pray that God will open their eyes and they seek repentance and God's grace. I did not have two Christian parents or a loving church to call home. My mom's side of the family did not want us to serve God and our church we were sent to tried to lock us out of God's Kingdom.

I am a living testimony against that congregation that God will save whom He will save, and that no man can stop God's mighty works. If God had not directly intervened in my life, I would be lost today. Thankfully, I learned who Jesus is, and learned to love Him at a young age. That said, it's best to teach your children yourself the truth, because there are an amazing number of false teachers in the world today. I have learned personally that the devil wants to destroy children. Divorce is really a horrible thing. But God is good

Sunday services usually last a few hours. There are 168 hours in a week. A child's best teacher is the parent, who spends way more time around them.

I also understand that different people are different. Different personalities, circumstances, environments, lessons learned, and so on shape us all into the people we are. A one size fits all approach to parenting will not work with everyone. It's easy to teach a standard of perfection in people's lives and circumstances, but perfection is hard to find in this world. 1/2 of marriages in the US end in divorce. It's easy to see why there are so many broken people in this country.

It is always best to treat each other with kindness and humility, which I hope I have shown to you today. If not, I apologize, I am a fiery person in heart, haha! I hope you have a nice day, A Thinker. God be with you.

I am so glad that God was able to reach into the self-described dysfunction of your family situation ... and rescue you to Himself. All homes are not good ones ... and all churches are not helpful, ... though, once again, in the general case, ... the scriptures advise us not to forsake gathering together with the brethren.

I agree with you that God will save who He will, ... despite the circumstances.

I am so happy to call you brother ...