Did Something Stupid, Deeply Regret It [possible trigger warning for sexual stuff?]

[chaoticfirefly]

The other night, I did something incredibly stupid by my standards; something I know I should not have done and while in the big picture isn't anything...bad. Saying that just makes it all the worst because I'm not the type who...lets people get physically close unless I want a hug (hello, my name is firefly and I am a hug addict and I am not ashamed).

I let myself get felt up by a close friend and someone else that I know (butt, chest) and I completely consented even though I knew it was wrong and that I shouldn't let people do that but I just for once didn't want to care. I'm asexual, meaning, I have no desire for sex, I don't find people sexually attractive, etc, so I felt nothing lustful; just warm and for once, pretty.

There were certain areas in the lower regions of my body I did not want my guy friend to touch and never gave him consent to touch that he did touch (and I kept pulling away after that, and I finally just put myself at a distance with them and told them I was going home.

Anyways, I thought nothing of it and while I did have a slight problem with it when I was heading home and it was there, on my mind, festering but not a problem. It was more of a, "...I can't believe I let that happen." and had a few select words about myself that I won't repeat here.

Though, now, in my heart, I am being strongly convicted and I have prayed over and over again for forgiveness for what happened but I'm still not at ease and I don't know what to do. I won't ever let it happen again, never again.

What do I do now? I begged God for forgiveness, but I still don't feel forgiven, I still feel horribly convicted and I just hate myself for it and I'm really really sorry I let any of it happen. What do I do to get rid of this feeling? Has God really forgiven me?

 

[ChrisHolland619]

Our sin separates us from God.

Yes, God has forgiven you. But your sin has pushed Him a little further away. It'll take some time and prayer to get back in touch with God because you have let a man defile your body. That is a sin.

Remember - your body is not your own. Your body is a temple.

"What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" 1 Corinthians 6:19

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Our sin separates us from God.

That is why Jesus died to forgive us and bring us into relationship with Him once and for all time.

Yes, God has forgiven you. But your sin has pushed Him a little further away. It'll take some time and prayer to get back in touch with God because you have let a man defile your body. That is a sin.

Firefly this is not true, if Jesus is your Saviour you have been forgiven by Him through His atonement, you can come boldly to the throne of grace before God whenever you sin. God does not look down on you and hope to smite you every time you sin, He only yearns and desires your return. God does not separate from us, we separate from Him.

The blood of Christ is your sure guarantee of righteousness, you are saved and made holy through Christ alone not from any of your efforts. When you sin, confess it and forsake it and pray that the Lord will give you grace to keep from falling in the future, but do not think that because of your sin you are far away from God.

He is as near now to you as before you sinned...you feel farther away because of your guilt and conviction but this is not condemnation it is only your conscience telling you that you have done wrong...God has already forgiven you on the cross, you can now forgive yourself and move on.

Jesus has brought you near, you are a child of God and you can never be separated from your Heavenly Father and Saviour. Come boldly to Him in your time of need depending only on the atonement of Christ Jesus.

"Him by whom we have boldness and access in the confidence of his faithfulness." (Ephesians 3:12)

"Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus," (Hebrews 10:19)

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)

 

[Peripatetic]

What do I do now? I begged God for forgiveness, but I still don't feel forgiven, I still feel horribly convicted and I just hate myself for it and I'm really really sorry I let any of it happen. What do I do to get rid of this feeling? Has God really forgiven me?

There are two types of guilt feelings. Conviction and Condemnation. The first is from the Holy Spirit, and the second is something the devil put into the world. It's also possible to have some of both.

Conviction builds up and strengthens you for the future. Condemnation tears you down and makes you feel unforgiven or unloved by God. Hating oneself is definitely a sign of condemnation.

Imagine a high school sports team where a player makes a mistake in a game and the head coach pulls him out of the game, tells him what was wrong, gives instructions, and pats him on the back saying, "you'll get it next time." The player may be a little upset with himself, and didn't like coming out of the game, but he is even more determined.

Now imagine that a different coach came up instead and said, "you are so hopeless, you loser! Why do we even bother?" The player may feel so much shame that he quits the team. That is condemnation. Same action, same initial feeling of "guilt" by the player, but very different outcomes.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

So how does one forgive themselves and stop condemning themselves?

 

[hedrick]

So how does one forgive themselves and stop condemning themselves?

You remember that God loved you enough to die for you, and that Paul and all other Christians acknowledged that they sin as well.

Being overly concerned by a single sin is itself a problem, because it undermines your usefulness. If we're so careful that we never make mistakes, we're going to be focusing on ourselves rather than on God and others, and thus we probably are not going to be able to accomplish what we should.

Where you have to start worrying is if you keep doing the same thing, or if what you do causes problems with others. But in most cases an explanation and apology will deal with the interpersonal affects of an action. Dealing with repeated problems depends upon the nature of the problem. But it doesn't sound to me like you're at that point.

A repeated pattern of being too concerned about mistakes is called "scrupulosity." It can indicate anything from a lack of self-confidence to OCD. If that starts happening it's worth talking to someone who can help you assess your situation, such a pastor who is good at counseling or a counsellor.

 

[Barricade24]

I can understand where you are coming from. I once did a terrible thing and I felt so, so bad that I carried the guilt for a couple of months. After that I just couldn't take it anymore I confessed what I had done. But still after that time I felt that the guilt was gone but that I was not forgiven. I should note this was before I actually became a Christian. I think after a period of years when I finally got around to becoming a Christian and I think just through time and a relationship with God, I was finally able to let go of what I had done and knew that I had forgiveness.

It's good that you have repented for what you are done but just keep in mind, we aren't perfect we have all done horrible things that still haunt us till. But we need not let it bring us down because we know that we have a loving, caring God who forgives us the second we ask him to.

I hope this helps.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Whenever I sin I apologize to God time for doing it. I'd prefer not to sin but stuff happens sometimes. I try to remind myself I can't get stuck on what I did wrong. Once you are forgiven don't fret about it anymore. Even if it happens again.

The only time to fret is if you are purposley sinning then using forgivness as an excuse to get out of it, "Oh drat I sinned, guess I'll pray for forgivness then do it again later!". God knows your heart and in that case I don't know if he would take your forgivness seriously.

 

[SharonL]

Once you repent for your sin you stand before God washed in the Blood of the Lamb, when you keep asking for forgiveness for the same sin - God says 'what sin' he sees them no more - they are in the lake of forgetfullness. You would have to go fishing in that lake of forgetfullness and find that sin and put it back on you - it isn't there - God has washed it away. To forget it - you just have to believe what God tells us that he sees your sins no more.

You don't feel forgiven because you are bringing that guilt back on you - God forgives us so you must forgive yourself also. Just put your hand in the hand of Jesus and let the Holy Spirit guide you, your sins are never seen again. Fall into the arms of Jesus - he knows your heart.

 

[pauluk3]

The other night, I did something incredibly stupid by my standards; something I know I should not have done and while in the big picture isn't anything...bad. Saying that just makes it all the worst because I'm not the type who...lets people get physically close unless I want a hug (hello, my name is firefly and I am a hug addict and I am not ashamed).

I let myself get felt up by a close friend and someone else that I know (butt, chest) and I completely consented even though I knew it was wrong and that I shouldn't let people do that but I just for once didn't want to care. I'm asexual, meaning, I have no desire for sex, I don't find people sexually attractive, etc, so I felt nothing lustful; just warm and for once, pretty.

There were certain areas in the lower regions of my body I did not want my guy friend to touch and never gave him consent to touch that he did touch (and I kept pulling away after that, and I finally just put myself at a distance with them and told them I was going home.

Anyways, I thought nothing of it and while I did have a slight problem with it when I was heading home and it was there, on my mind, festering but not a problem. It was more of a, "...I can't believe I let that happen." and had a few select words about myself that I won't repeat here.

Though, now, in my heart, I am being strongly convicted and I have prayed over and over again for forgiveness for what happened but I'm still not at ease and I don't know what to do. I won't ever let it happen again, never again.

What do I do now? I begged God for forgiveness, but I still don't feel forgiven, I still feel horribly convicted and I just hate myself for it and I'm really really sorry I let any of it happen. What do I do to get rid of this feeling? Has God really forgiven me?

if you are a chrisitan you should never feel guilt or shame your sisn pass future and present are all forgiven ...guilt is from the devil...the holy spirit will convict you of Jesus righteousness.. do you see yourself as a dirty sinner or a pure princess of God ?

 

[pauluk3]

So how does one forgive themselves and stop condemning themselves?

Jesus does not condemn you , he said to the woman at the well i do not condemn you ...no go sin no more.....no go sin no more and then i wont Condemn you...get this deep in your soul....NO MATTER WAHT YOU DO YOU ARE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND PURE DRESSED IN PURE WHITE BEFORE GOD FOREVER BECAUSE OF JESUS AND THE CROSS..NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT ...ITS THE GIFT OF GRACE...YOU JUST NEED TO ACCEPT IT

Wow God is awesome

be blessed

 

[Strider1002]

Jesus does not condemn you , he said to the woman at the well i do not condemn you ...no go sin no more.....

You mean the adulterous woman in John 8