Did Jesus just leave my heart? Was he even in there the first place?(Moved to Sw/S)

[chrystle]

Summary of my life: Born into a Christian family. Been attending church my entire life, yet I still haven't met God even though I truly believe that he exists and is watching me even as I type this message out. Apart from that I'm also transsexual, but I'm not really interested in debating whether I'm meant to be a guy or a girl. I'll let God tell me who I really am when I finally meet him.

Anyway, I was feeling really depressed tonight about being transsexual. I kinda feel like neither a girl nor a guy, but just a freak. And for the next few minutes I kept calling myself a freak. Then I started having some suicidal feelings and I said this sentence, "Born a freak...die a freak..."

And well, all of a sudden I felt this emptiness filling up my chest, (yea I know that sentence sounds stupid; emptiness can't fill stuff up) and it just feels realy weird. I don't know how to explain it at all. It just feels...empty.

Did Jesus leave my heart? Was he ever inside?

=(

 

[Tenken07]

God wouldnt discriminate against you because your a transsexual, I would imagine its confusing though.....=-/

Dont beat yourself up about it.

 

[BlessEwe]

Summary of my life: Born into a Christian family. Been attending church my entire life, yet I still haven't met God even though I truly believe that he exists and is watching me even as I type this message out. Apart from that I'm also transsexual, but I'm not really interested in debating whether I'm meant to be a guy or a girl. I'll let God tell me who I really am when I finally meet him.

Anyway, I was feeling really depressed tonight about being transsexual. I kinda feel like neither a girl nor a guy, but just a freak. And for the next few minutes I kept calling myself a freak. Then I started having some suicidal feelings and I said this sentence, "Born a freak...die a freak..."

And well, all of a sudden I felt this emptiness filling up my chest, (yea I know that sentence sounds stupid; emptiness can't fill stuff up) and it just feels realy weird. I don't know how to explain it at all. It just feels...empty.

Did Jesus leave my heart? Was he ever inside?

=(

There is No way you are a freak! God made you and saw you form in your mothers womb. He loves you! There are Chaplains here that would love to talk to you if you like. God Bless you and may you feel His love right now.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[Criada]

God loves you unconditionally, and that won't ever change.
And I don't think that He would ever leave you.
But.. you say you have never met God... perhaps you have simply grown up in someone else's faith and never truly made it your own. I'd advise you to read the "Be a Christian" section here at CF, and to talk with your pastor.

Being transexual is hard, but it doesn't mean that God hates you, or doesn't want you. And you are not a freak, you are a unique creation and loved very much.

Praying for you, and here if you want to talk.. PM me any time.
God bless you

 

[janny108]

Summary of my life: Born into a Christian family. Been attending church my entire life, yet I still haven't met God even though I truly believe that he exists and is watching me even as I type this message out. Apart from that I'm also transsexual, but I'm not really interested in debating whether I'm meant to be a guy or a girl. I'll let God tell me who I really am when I finally meet him.

Anyway, I was feeling really depressed tonight about being transsexual. I kinda feel like neither a girl nor a guy, but just a freak. And for the next few minutes I kept calling myself a freak. Then I started having some suicidal feelings and I said this sentence, "Born a freak...die a freak..."

And well, all of a sudden I felt this emptiness filling up my chest, (yea I know that sentence sounds stupid; emptiness can't fill stuff up) and it just feels realy weird. I don't know how to explain it at all. It just feels...empty.

Did Jesus leave my heart? Was he ever inside?

=(

I agree with the poster in that you can email chaplains on this board. They are more qualified to help you. BTW in my mind a "transsexual" is someone that had a sex change operation. Maybe you mean "bisexual" I don't know... I know if you are born again, saved that Jesus is forever in your heart. It may not feel that way for other reasons why I think if you email or talk to a chaplain/pastor that they can help you sort out your feelings.
Jan
Jan

 

[Johnnz]

Actually "accepting Jesus into your heart' is a piece of religious jargon anyway. For the ancients the heart was where our desires that influenced our choices came from. So, you belong to God when you decide to follow Him, not when you have some kind of 'feeling saved'.

If you see your sexuality as something opposed to God's will then you will feel pretty empty and despondent. You won't see God as your friend but more as your judge, and that does not make for a happy relationship.

John
NZ