F
Fire for God
Guest
You cannot receive love if you hate yourself. Fact of life.
You also hate yourself. But that's something you already know. In fact, you're extremely self-aware.
That's one step ahead of not knowing yourself. But then you can take another step. The higher you go, the better your situation. The better you can see things.
Know this: Death does not end your suffering. Life doesn't end your suffering either, but it gives you the chance of joy. Think about it, a dead lion is worse off than a life mouse. The mouse can eat cheese. He can smile to himself. He can scurry in and out of his little hole. Sure, the cat can get to him. He might ensnare himself on a trap one day. But that's a whole lot better than the dead lion. He can't even dream of hunting, or being hunted for that matter. Everything ceases on the deathbed. You can't even feel sorry for yourself then.
I don't understand how it feels like for a best friend to steal your girlfriend. I don't get that. I can't get how it feels to see the eyes of your beloved in every other girl. I cannot relate to how it feels like to have every girl you like hate your existence.
Probably no one on earth will understand. You are you. Your life experiences are unique.
Can you understand how my friend struggles with why his parents divorced?
Can you understand how my neighbour feels like when his divorced dad comes to visit him with his own children and wife?
Can you understand how it's like for this autistic kid I know to not be able to express himself, and be misunderstood by virtually everyone around him?
Can you understand how that homeless man in my neighbourhood has to labour everyday for a morsel of food, be looked down on every other person on the street, and stink like rotten fish and yet not know it? He probably won't get a mate in his life. His chances of getting one are probably lower than yours. His genitals may not even function well anymore.
Pardon me for my rudeness. But fact is this: your circumstances, your past, and your habits do NOT define you for who you are. You are trapped in an infinite loop of unhappiness and despair? I felt that too. I was thinking the exact same things as you. Granted, my circumstances and past was different, but I was stuck in the same loop as you were.
I was being foolish! I was looking at my past. I was being an idiot. Shouldn't I just look in front of me and move on? But I couldn't! I wanted to end my life but I can't. I felt that if I died I would go to hell. I felt that if I lived, I will die in a few weeks time and go to hell. I felt that whatever the case, suffering and torment was right before me. Life is pointless. Death is pointless. Hell is all there is.
But there comes a point where you say to yourself: so what? So what if I have been given a crappy lot? It can't be worse than that homeless man (although it does feel worse; feelings are not truth). And even if I'm homeless so what? What I have, I make do with it. Be faithful with small things, and you can manage bigger things. I tell you something. Girls go for guys who let go of their baggage and make the best of whatever they have. It's a struggle. It's difficult. It's what makes you manly. I'm not asking you to discount your past completely. I'm not asking you to forget it overnight (you can't! I cannot either, and it haunts me at times.) But what you can do is look at the potential. What can you do? Do it! Can you smile? Smile! You don't feel like it? Who cares, you just smiled, you just overcame your unhappiness (even though it feels fake), and you just broke the loop.
Can you write? Well, sure you can. You're posting here. Go write something. Tell a story of someone. Make it purposeful. Don't dwell in your own sadness. Imagine how someone else is feeling. Go write it down. Maybe imagine another person in your own circumstance. Feel pity for him. Think of what you can do to help him. Go write it down. Just get your mind off yourself and your pain! The best way is to use your pain for a good measure. You do that, you break the loop.
You get back into the loop? Do something else and break it again. I'm a sour face. The moment I think about myself and my past I get a sour face. I do something to break the loop, and I can smile and be happy.
You know, when you can give value to yourself, you can give value to others as well. You know that? I'm sure you do. You're smart. And when that happens (may take weeks, may take seconds, may be both), I tell you, girls will be attracted to you. You can give value to them. So by then, letting them come close and be your friend will be doing a favour to them. You won't be pushing them away anymore.
Think about it man. I don't care what you think about God now. You are awesome. You don't feel like it, but you are. Just think about that.
You also hate yourself. But that's something you already know. In fact, you're extremely self-aware.
That's one step ahead of not knowing yourself. But then you can take another step. The higher you go, the better your situation. The better you can see things.
Know this: Death does not end your suffering. Life doesn't end your suffering either, but it gives you the chance of joy. Think about it, a dead lion is worse off than a life mouse. The mouse can eat cheese. He can smile to himself. He can scurry in and out of his little hole. Sure, the cat can get to him. He might ensnare himself on a trap one day. But that's a whole lot better than the dead lion. He can't even dream of hunting, or being hunted for that matter. Everything ceases on the deathbed. You can't even feel sorry for yourself then.
I don't understand how it feels like for a best friend to steal your girlfriend. I don't get that. I can't get how it feels to see the eyes of your beloved in every other girl. I cannot relate to how it feels like to have every girl you like hate your existence.
Probably no one on earth will understand. You are you. Your life experiences are unique.
Can you understand how my friend struggles with why his parents divorced?
Can you understand how my neighbour feels like when his divorced dad comes to visit him with his own children and wife?
Can you understand how it's like for this autistic kid I know to not be able to express himself, and be misunderstood by virtually everyone around him?
Can you understand how that homeless man in my neighbourhood has to labour everyday for a morsel of food, be looked down on every other person on the street, and stink like rotten fish and yet not know it? He probably won't get a mate in his life. His chances of getting one are probably lower than yours. His genitals may not even function well anymore.
Pardon me for my rudeness. But fact is this: your circumstances, your past, and your habits do NOT define you for who you are. You are trapped in an infinite loop of unhappiness and despair? I felt that too. I was thinking the exact same things as you. Granted, my circumstances and past was different, but I was stuck in the same loop as you were.
I was being foolish! I was looking at my past. I was being an idiot. Shouldn't I just look in front of me and move on? But I couldn't! I wanted to end my life but I can't. I felt that if I died I would go to hell. I felt that if I lived, I will die in a few weeks time and go to hell. I felt that whatever the case, suffering and torment was right before me. Life is pointless. Death is pointless. Hell is all there is.
But there comes a point where you say to yourself: so what? So what if I have been given a crappy lot? It can't be worse than that homeless man (although it does feel worse; feelings are not truth). And even if I'm homeless so what? What I have, I make do with it. Be faithful with small things, and you can manage bigger things. I tell you something. Girls go for guys who let go of their baggage and make the best of whatever they have. It's a struggle. It's difficult. It's what makes you manly. I'm not asking you to discount your past completely. I'm not asking you to forget it overnight (you can't! I cannot either, and it haunts me at times.) But what you can do is look at the potential. What can you do? Do it! Can you smile? Smile! You don't feel like it? Who cares, you just smiled, you just overcame your unhappiness (even though it feels fake), and you just broke the loop.
Can you write? Well, sure you can. You're posting here. Go write something. Tell a story of someone. Make it purposeful. Don't dwell in your own sadness. Imagine how someone else is feeling. Go write it down. Maybe imagine another person in your own circumstance. Feel pity for him. Think of what you can do to help him. Go write it down. Just get your mind off yourself and your pain! The best way is to use your pain for a good measure. You do that, you break the loop.
You get back into the loop? Do something else and break it again. I'm a sour face. The moment I think about myself and my past I get a sour face. I do something to break the loop, and I can smile and be happy.
You know, when you can give value to yourself, you can give value to others as well. You know that? I'm sure you do. You're smart. And when that happens (may take weeks, may take seconds, may be both), I tell you, girls will be attracted to you. You can give value to them. So by then, letting them come close and be your friend will be doing a favour to them. You won't be pushing them away anymore.
Think about it man. I don't care what you think about God now. You are awesome. You don't feel like it, but you are. Just think about that.
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