Developed feelings for a nonbeliever

[Everyblessing123]

I never thought I would find myself in this situation and write about it to seek advice but here I am. I work with this guy for almost two years now and have been aware of his feelings towards me for a while. He's not a typical secular man. He has good morals, respectful and doesn't drink or smoke or anything like that. We have a lot in common and we connect well and have a lot of fun together. Recently I found myself being more attracted to him and started developing feelings towards him. I've tried really hard not to be emotionally involved but its been hard not too since I see him practically every day.

I've also found myself getting jealous. There's this girl that has a major crush on him and she flirt with him non stop and she's very aggressive about it which is the opposite of him. Inside I'm jealous and angry at them when it happens. I know that I need to just get over it.

So it came to a point where he wanted to talk to me about it. He's noticed the connection between us has been more than just friends there are some mutual feelings. And I told him that he is an amazing guy and has amazing qualities I look for but in the end it wouldn't work out because of the most important thing is: he does not have a relationship with Jesus. He didn't really get it and he's completely foreign to any religion. He's lived a very simple life. I have to explain it more in detail and I told him the whole gospel. It got to a point where he understood it, he told me he got it but that he just doesn't know if he believes it. That pretty much ended the conversation. I had no choice I'm going to obey The Lord.

Now I'm pretty bummed about this. I know The Lord has someone for me or at least I hope. I'm just getting really frustrated about it. This past year I've had a lot of interests come my way (I'm not trying to brag or say that in a conceded way) and I just didn't feel they are the right one for me. I've have an awesome young evangelist that goes around the world to preach the gospel and tons of girls are googoo gaga over him (idk any other way to explain it haha) and I'm thinking "maybe?" As if I'm trying to put effort into seeing myself with them. I don't think it should be that way. I know The Lord has called me to ministry and I know what lord has called me for to serve his kingdom. I need to see some specific things in Order to see of someone is right for me. Is that wrong?

So the only person I've developed any kind of feelings for in a good while I can't pursue it haha. And now I have to see him al most every day and then see this girl flirt with him non stop in front of my face. And I think he's starting to like the attention. I just hope he would never consider it because this girl would take advantage of him and treat him very poorly. I'm just frustrated with these situations. I know it will be on the lords timing but I just want to be left alone until then. I don't want "guys" liking me, i don't want any of that attention I seriously try to avoid it. I want the ONES attention. I want the one to seek me out and pursue me no one else.

 

[Spunkn]

It's difficult. The temptation is strong because it's a desire that we want, but it is something that will not be good for us.

In situations such as those, the best thing I try to do is fast forward the situation and see how it would turn out. What I mean by that is, imagine in your head what would happen if you accepted this relationship. Where would it go? Sure you would be happy dating, enjoying each other's company. Or maybe it wouldn't. What happens when he starts pressuring you for sex because the world says that it's perfectly normal to have sex before marriage. It's even expected for you to do that nowdays so that you know that you are "compatible". It's a horrible lie, but that's the excuse the world uses. Say you even get married. Then what happens?
What happens when you want to go to church and he doesn't? What happens when you feel that he is sinning, but he doesn't? You're going to get into a big fight about it. What happens when he does things that are wrong according to God, but not according to the world. How are you going to be able to hold him accountable when he is of the world, and you are of Christ? What happens when he starts going after other women for attention because you are "so focused on God" and not him? Any number of awful situations could arise, simply based on the fact that you both have different core values. We really are different people in Christ. We are a new creation. Children of God.

It doesn't make it any easier to resist the temptation, it's still hard. However, if you draw things out to their conclusion, and what would really happen if you allowed it then it can be kind of a "STOP" sign for you or a safety net to keep yourself from crossing that line.

 

[StarBright]

Double post, how'd that happen??

 

[StarBright]

Everyblessing, I think you've got your head on straight, which is saying something! I think you know right from wrong, wise from unwise, and you're seeing this situation exactly as it is. Keep doing exactly what you're doing, keep your head up, and God will reward your patience and obedience one day We need more girls like you!

 

[Everyblessing123]

Thank you for letting me see it the way. Your absolutely right! I just needed someone to tell me it! It reminds me the truth ad helps me move on from it. What's kind of cool from the situation an God truly gets all the glory for it, is that not only does it plant a seed in the Guy I spoke to. But people at my work wanted us together too. Everyone thought we would be so great together. So now people are asking me why and I tell them the truth! One of my supervisors is a Christian and she came to me telling me that some people were asking her questions in details about religion and why it wouldn't work to date someone with another religion or has no religion. This situation has started sparking up conversations and curiosity of others. See god really takes everything and uses it for his glory. That's what amazes me!

 

[Everyblessing123]

Everyblessing, I think you've got your head on straight, which is saying something! I think you know right from wrong, wise from unwise, and you're seeing this situation exactly as it is. Keep doing exactly what you're doing, keep your head up, and God will reward your patience and obedience one day We need more girls like you!

Thank you so much for your encouragement! That was such a blessing thank you!

 

[manitouscott]

If you feel called to the ministry, it may do you some good to read what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

So, maybe you are being given the chance to serve the Lord in a capacity that many married people cannot. Not that married people do not serve the Lord, that is not Paul's point. Married people serve the Lord, and they serve each other per the instructions on marriage. But those who are not married have the time and undivided resources to serve in ministries that most married people to not.

I am not trying to convince you one way or the other, but to point you to what the Bible says. I am praying for you!

 

[Everyblessing123]

If you feel called to the ministry, it may do you some good to read what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

So, maybe you are being given the chance to serve the Lord in a capacity that many married people cannot. Not that married people do not serve the Lord, that is not Paul's point. Married people serve the Lord, and they serve each other per the instructions on marriage. But those who are not married have the time and undivided resources to serve in ministries that most married people to not.

I am not trying to convince you one way or the other, but to point you to what the Bible says. I am praying for you!

No you are absolutely right and its true! I trust The Lord with all my heart and my hopes are in The Lord. I know The Lord wants me to serve him right now single and when god brings that ONE person he will! I am patient and I know seeking his kingdom he will give me the desires of my heart. But I would like these other distractions to go away

 

[Ark100]

Because you re attracted to him doesnt mean hes the one for you. You will be attracted to many men in your lifetime.
Its best not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever EXCEPT God leads you to, then He will do something along those lines by His power.
I am more inclined to believe what you feel for him is more of a crush, or maybe something if the flesh, instant attraction or whatever but i doubt its something deeper. Maybe you are more intense about him cause of the other girl.
Focus on your work and keep seeking God. He will bring the right person across you at the right time.
Yoking yourself with an unbeliever usually turns messy if God has not a hand in it

 

[paul1149]

Now I'm pretty bummed about this.

I think that is a mistake. From what I gather, you've done everything correctly. That places it in God's hands, and there is no better place for it to be.

If this guy is the one, he has been introduced to a) the Gospel, and b) someone who lives the Gospel. That's a powerful combination.

You're also being given the chance to see his character under testing. Somehow I don't think that's an accident. It's natural for him to enjoy the attention, but at some point if he has character he pulls back and says, enough, this isn't real. Whether he passes or fails you will learn something very valuable about him. Maybe he needs to experience the contrast between you and this woman in order to value what you've told him. Or if he fails, you can thank God for the protection inherent in doing things His way.

I said it is in God's hands. But one thing may be lacking for that to be the case: faith. Do you believe enough in your Father's loving provision that you can continue to abide in His peace and rejoice in Him no matter what things look like now? There will be times when it's difficult for the flesh, and that's where the battle lies. Put on the full armor and strive to keep your spirit safely in the stronghold of God. He will show Himself strong on your behalf because you trust in Him. Jesus did not save you not to prosper you, and He knows your true needs.

 

[madetoworship]

2 verses for you that I want to share with you:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18

 

[littlestmartian]

Because you re attracted to him doesnt mean hes the one for you. You will be attracted to many men in your lifetime.
Its best not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever EXCEPT God leads you to, then He will do something along those lines by His power.
I am more inclined to believe what you feel for him is more of a crush, or maybe something if the flesh, instant attraction or whatever but i doubt its something deeper. Maybe you are more intense about him cause of the other girl.
Focus on your work and keep seeking God. He will bring the right person across you at the right time.
Yoking yourself with an unbeliever usually turns messy if God has not a hand in it

Why would God lead you to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever?

 

[Ark100]

Why would God lead you to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever?

Because He's God and we are not. Nothing is impossible for Him to do. If He's wanting to use the believer to change the unbeliever, He does bring them together
My mom was muslim until she met my dad. She converted and is born again, even deeper than my dad is.
So God can do anything and everything. Being led by Him and knowing He's leading leads to no mistake.

 

[littlestmartian]

Because He's God and we are not. Nothing is impossible for Him to do. If He's wanting to use the believer to change the unbeliever, He does bring them together
My mom was muslim until she met my dad. She converted and is born again, even deeper than my dad is.
So God can do anything and everything. Being led by Him and knowing He's leading leads to no mistake.

Okay, thanks. I was asking because I had asked a similar thing in a thread that I had made about this boy in my class. Everyone in the thread said that I shouldn't pursue him because we're not supposed to be unequally yoked but I think God may want to use me in his life.

Is this similar to the time in the Bible where God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute?

 

[StarBright]

Thank you for letting me see it the way. Your absolutely right! I just needed someone to tell me it! It reminds me the truth ad helps me move on from it. What's kind of cool from the situation an God truly gets all the glory for it, is that not only does it plant a seed in the Guy I spoke to. But people at my work wanted us together too. Everyone thought we would be so great together. So now people are asking me why and I tell them the truth! One of my supervisors is a Christian and she came to me telling me that some people were asking her questions in details about religion and why it wouldn't work to date someone with another religion or has no religion. This situation has started sparking up conversations and curiosity of others. See god really takes everything and uses it for his glory. That's what amazes me!

Awesome opportunity and definitely not a coincidence Stay humble though, cause now you've got eyes focused even more closely on you and your behaviors.

 

[Spunkn]

Okay, thanks. I was asking because I had asked a similar thing in a thread that I had made about this boy in my class. Everyone in the thread said that I shouldn't pursue him because we're not supposed to be unequally yoked but I think God may want to use me in his life.

Is this similar to the time in the Bible where God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute?

God may indeed want to use you in his life. To witness to him and be an influence. However, Hosea was a very rare exception, and also God spoke directly to Hosea and was very specific about what he was to do and why. I highly doubt God would want you to marry / date a non-Christian unless you were given clear indication of why you should do so.

 

[littlestmartian]

God may indeed want to use you in his life. To witness to him and be an influence. However, Hosea was a very rare exception, and also God spoke directly to Hosea and was very specific about what he was to do and why. I highly doubt God would want you to marry / date a non-Christian unless you were given clear indication of why you should do so.

Thanks.

 

[Ark100]

said that I shouldn't pursue him because we're not supposed to be unequally yoked but I think God may want to use me in his life.
Is this similar to the time in the Bible where God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute?

No its not similar to Hosea because Hosea was a prophet, he was not 17yrs old or a teenager. Also God sked Hosea to do that for illustration. He was making a vital point at that time, God does this to His prophets and they are the voice and tool God use to deliver a lot of His verdicts and words especially in the ancient days

In the present day i dont know a single pastor, minister or prophet that has married a prostitute or the likes. I also believe at your age, God wouldnt steer you towards a teenage boy around your age who is an unbeliever that you two should start dating because He wants to convert him

 

[wtrailer]

You made a very smart move, Everyblessing123. I know it's hard now but you just saved yourself from a lot of grief down the road had you of pursued the relationship. Physical attraction is a strong force and can lead us into very bad situations. God has something much better for you!
WT

 

[Happy to help]

I think you made the right decision. Maybe you just really been wanting that love and intimacy. Don't worry be patient! I'm sure god has someone for you. I get impatient as well!