Devastated

[LoveJC9]

I know you guys are sick of hearing this but I am losing my mind and really can't talk to anyone in my life about this because of my living arraingments.

Yesterday Richard and I were talking and he is thinking of leaving again. It told him if he did it was really going to break my heart. His response was it has been broken before. This from the guy who I really feel in love with because of the Jesus you could see all over him. Where did that go?

We talked some more and our little "incident" came up. He said it was just lust and that it can't go any where. That I should feel good that I am pretty enough for someone to lust after. I guess that is supposed to make me feel better - NOT... I told him it may have been "just lust" for him but I love you and it wasn't just lust for me.

I wanted this to get better not worse and it keeps getting worse and worst. Next thing you know I am going to find out I am pregnant, because we all know "your sins will find you out".

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time. Don't worry about getting it all out on here. We've all been there and we are here to listen.

I'll be praying for you and him.

 

[Keri]

Laurie, you need to realize this man does not care for you and obviously, from his actions, does not love you. He's using you. Period.

You also need to either start taking people's advice or stop asking for it. You've asked for advice, we've given it, you don't listen.

That said, I'm praying that you make the right choice.

 

[Keri]

You deserve better than this.

 

[Rhye]

Hope you start listening to that little voice.

Some people call it intuition, Oprah calls it.... (I forget at the moment, sorry).



Hope all works out for you.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm so sorry that you're hurting. Consider yourself virtually hugged, my dear. I ask that you remember that you both are still in recovery, and this man does not have his life together AT ALL, per your own descriptions of his behavior. I know your emotions are genuine, and so is your pain. But this relationship is not wise or healthy, and the best thing may just be for you to separate yourself from him. I know that doesn't affect how much you're hurting, and I wish I could be there for you in person. Just try to lean on God right now, NOT on this man, or on any other man, for comfort.

 

[mina]

Get away from him. This is not love. Cut it off.

 

[LoveJC9]

I want to leave and I know that isn't an option. The only place I have to go is with my very abusive ex-husband and I know that the devil will use that to take me out completely.

 

[Inkachu]

I understand your living situation, and that you can't just "get away" from it. But what you two did - I'm SURE - breaks the rules of that facility. You do have the option of telling what happened, but I don't know if they would remove him, you, or both of you? If you don't want to go that route, you need to just avoid him the best you can.

 

[Orange_County_Chopper]

Have you set this guy up as an idol in your heart?

 

[LoveJC9]

I understand your living situation, and that you can't just "get away" from it. But what you two did - I'm SURE - breaks the rules of that facility. You do have the option of telling what happened, but I don't know if they would remove him, you, or both of you? If you don't want to go that route, you need to just avoid him the best you can.

Yes we did break the rules. I am worried they would make us both leave. I don't want to go back to the hell I was in before I got here, so I don't want to leave. I don't want him to have to leave either because all of his friends are crack addicts and he will end up back in jail. So, I am doing my best to avoid him.

It just really hurts because he has made comments that have given me hope that he did care about me. Now, I know he doesn't. Not being able to self medicate like I have in the past has me in a place where I have to deal with what is going on and I can't run from it.

 

[LoveJC9]

Have you set this guy up as an idol in your heart?

It is possible. I do tend to do that. I did that with my daughter. She was a God in my life.

 

[mina]

What I meant by "get away from him" is simply that. I do understand your living situation and know that it's not simple to just leave. but, "stay away" from him would have probably been better wording. Don't be alone with him and just in general avoid him. If he wants to talk to you alone, just say that you think it's best if you both stay around others.

 

[ampbelle3130]

i'm sorry that you are going through this.
but how much more obvious does this man need to be? he does not love you. he does not care about you. if the man says it was lust...it was lust.
him leaving right now would be a God send.
that may be exactly what you need to get over and through this.

stop trying to force your love (and i'm convinced that you have placed this man and the lustful feelings he gave you on a pedestal and called it "love") on someone who does not wish to embrace or recieve it.

give it to God. period.

i love you sis and i'm praying for you.

 

[ulu]

Yesterday Richard and I were talking and he is thinking of leaving again. It told him if he did it was really going to break my heart.
.

That would be a good outcome if he left. It would hurt, as it is now, and then you could start to heal. Hopefully he's not just threatening to leave so you'll sleep with him again.
As far as him getting screwed up if he leaves, it's unfortunate, but you haven't been assigned as the person designated to save him from himself.

 

[xuxana]

I want to leave and I know that isn't an option. The only place I have to go is with my very abusive ex-husband and I know that the devil will use that to take me out completely.

why don't you try being alone for awhile? why do you need to be with anyone at all, at this point in your life?

you need to fix yourself first and over time, then maybe you can get into a relationship. quit playing the victim.

and leave the relationship you are in now coz...

 

[Revived]

Continued prayers Laurie. Please read 1 Corinthians 10:13 and pray for God to open your eyes to this promise.

 

[Oddish]

Honestly, you really need to work on your self esteem. You let this man use and manipulate you, yes you may have desired him too, but you were blinded by love and he took advantage of that. Does that really sound like a man you would want to continue spending your life with and be emotionally and physically intimate with? No!. My advice is to pray lots and to keep an emotional distance from this guy. When you see him, be civil but do not be friendly, that way you can break the bond you have.

Do you have any family who you could rely on? anyone you could stay with?. I am so sorry for your situation, it is not a very nice one to be in, but remember this - God will help you! He is your refuge so cling to him and he will pull you through this mess.

Another bit of advice is to go out and get some more hobbies which will lead you to meeting new people and growing in confidence. You have too much dependence on this guy, and that is dangerous.

 

[Revived]

By the way, thank you for continuing to seek advice on this. That should not go unnoticed. As you can see, the overwhelming sentiment is for you to shift your focus to God and away from what you simply cannot/should not control. Prayers for your daughter as well.

 

[peacechild4]

GOD is with you right there.. right where you are.. and HE loves you.. really really really loves you.. do not be afraid.. even if you have made wrong choices.. HE still loves you.. reach out to HIM.. HE doesn't judge you.. HE sees your heart.. and loves you.. HE is the answer.. and HE asks nothing but that YOU just let HIM love you.. it is that love.. that amazing out of this world.. undeserving love that helps us.. Take HIS hand... and just let HIM love on you.. right where you are... that will make all the difference I promise you.. stay in that place with HIM.. that is all you need to do right now.. Lay all your burdens on HIM.. now I need to go do the same.. LOL... this is experience speaking..